Clown Cannibalism, My Pal Paul, and Weeping Sausages
Three Weird German Things to Ponder This Week
I told myself that I would make this nice. This thing I’m doing here, the writing thing. I told myself, I want to be funny, I want people to have a chuckle, and maybe I want them to learn something. I told myself, I am not going to get any nastier than I absolutely must.
We are talking about the German language, though. It’s gonna get nasty.
There’s a list in my Tumblr drafts, where I jot down German words or phrases I want to talk about whenever I happen to think of them. There are, let me check... So far, there are two swearwords on it, and a whopping seven things to say that are just generally kind of rude. It is not a very long list. We are just really rude.
Or maybe I’m just really rude. I have bad manners and I love swearing, but it’s not like I came up with any of the stuff on that list. I may be rude, but the German language continuously provides.
But I didn’t want to start off with swearwords. So I’m not going to. I’m going to be rude instead.
And here’s what we’ll be rude about today:
- why it’s spelled Wiener, not Weiner, and why Weiner is actually superior, imgo (in my German opinion)
- the weird and inexplicable way Germans pronounce PayPal
- a German idiom about consuming clown flesh
A Wiener and a Weiner
That’s right, I’m going to start this off by telling you guys that you are saying words wrong.
It’s Wiener. It’s Wiener! I, then E! The sausages are named after the Austrian city Vienna, which we (and they) call Wien. They’re Wiener sausages. Wiener.
Okay, enough. I don’t actually care that much. I’m firmly in camp “language evolves and that’s good and we should let it,” actually. Give your sausages whatever name you want. I will support you, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop making fun of Weiner.
I think it’s because there is some sort of rule in English pronunciation about E before I? Probably? Disregard these question marks, please, don’t tell me. As someone who primarily learned English through reading, I am surprised every day by how words are pronounced, and I don’t believe that there are rules. And I will continue to live life this way. It’s the little things that make it spicy, right?
So anyway. Weiner, huh.
If Weiner didn’t mean anything, I guess I wouldn’t care. It’d just be an americanized version of Wiener Würstchen then. But, get this. Weiner does mean something.
Well, not really. It’s not a word we actually use. Weinen is a word we use. That’s a verb, and it means to cry. Wein, then, is the verb stem. See what I’m getting at?
You’re calling them crybaby sausages.
Forget what I was like during the first paragraph of this part. Don’t ever let anybody stop you. Don’t even think about learning anything from this and correcting yourself to calling the sausage Wiener. If you’re calling your dog a Weiner, even better. Stay in this bed you guys made, because it’s fucking hilarious.
Ah, shit. Well, there we go. I guess we’re swearing.
My pal Paul
Now that I’ve rudely made fun of how English speakers spell things, I figured it would be fair to make fun of how German people pronounce things. This particular thing is also very dear to me. It was one of the first points I put on that list of mine, even.
So this may surprise you, but there is no fancy German word for PayPal. We could have named it Zahlungskumpel (that means pay pal), but for some reason we didn’t. We just call it PayPal.
Except we don’t really?
Somehow, nobody in Germany can pronounce PayPal correctly.
Somehow, everybody says PayPaul.
If you’re a German person reading this, and you’re thinking, What? I don’t say PayPaul, please. Look inside of yourself for a second. Say PayPal. How does that second syllable come out? Does it come out like the English pronunciation of Paul? PayPawl? PayPohl? Be honest.
If it doesn’t – if you find yourself saying PayPähl – come here. Hold my hand. Stay with me. I am so scared.
I, too, say PayPäl. One would assume that is the correct way to say it. However, at this point, I have heard so many German people say PayPaul, I am left with no choice but to assume that I am wrong.
Again, I don’t mind. I could not give less of a shit about pronouncing anglicisms “correctly.” It’s just very, very strange. Because here’s the thing.
“Pal” shouldn’t even be pronounced like that in German.
If it were just a case of German people seeing a bunch of letters and pronouncing them the German way, it should be Pahl.
Where did Paul come from?? What happened?? Why did nobody tell me. This country is a nightmare.
And I really can’t stress enough that almost everyone I’ve heard say PayPal out loud said it like PayPaul. I know people with those sort of thick German accents everyone on the internet loves so much, but I also know German people who speak near accent-free English. Fluent speakers. English majors.
Everyone says PayPaul.
Who the absolute fuck is Paul.
(Bonus for Germans who remember their TV history: Wer ist eigentlich Paul?)
Einen Clown gefrühstückt haben
I don’t know if any of the above is funny. Never do! The last time I wrote a big post about German words, I was just kind of doing whatever, and suddenly people were telling me that it was really entertaining. Which was great! I wanna be entertaining.
Of course, whenever I try to do it on purpose, I worry that it’s coming out stilted. I worry that I’m coming across as some sort of desperate funnyman. I worry that I sound like someone who ate a clown for breakfast.
See?
Didn’t that sound really natural?
Having eaten a clown for breakfast is such a familiar and normal concept to me that I nearly said it to my American friend, in English, the other day. Whenever someone is being overly funny and pulling joke after joke from their sleeves, I think, wow, look who ate a clown for breakfast today. And then I think, wow, I am so normal for thinking that.
“Er/Sie hat einen Clown gefrühstückt” means literally that. They have eaten a clown for breakfast. I am not sure if I’ve ever heard someone say it genuinely and not sarcastically, but knowing us Germans, probably not. I also have no idea if it was ever supposed to be a genuine compliment. Again, knowing us, probably not.
By the way, yes. The German word for clown is Clown. And the German word for breakfast is Frühstück (früh = early, Stück = piece, bit), and so having breakfast just means frühstücken.
So now you know what to tell a German person when they aren’t being funny. And once again... knowing us... you’re gonna need it.
(I won’t be sharing my breakfast routine, but every time I cough, a little honk comes out of my throat.)
About the Creator
Hysteria
31, he/it, born and raised (mostly) in Germany - I like talking about my language and having as much fun with it as possible! It is very silly. Our long words are merely the beginning of it all.
more: https://400amtag.wordpress.com/links/
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Trump’s Proposed Credit Card Cap Spotlights Americans’ Debt. Would It Help
Credit card debt in the United States has reached staggering levels, and former President Donald Trump’s latest proposal aims to tackle the issue head-on. According to his plan, banks and credit card companies would face a cap on the interest rates they can charge consumers. At first glance, this sounds like a straightforward solution to a growing problem, but a closer look reveals the complexity of America’s debt landscape and the challenges any policy must navigate to be truly effective. The Debt Dilemma As of late 2025, Americans collectively owe more than $1.2 trillion in credit card debt, a record high. Household debt has steadily risen over the past decade, fueled by stagnant wages, inflation, and the rising cost of essentials such as housing, healthcare, and education. For many, credit cards are no longer a convenience—they’re a lifeline, a way to bridge the gap between income and expenses. Trump’s proposal seeks to limit the annual percentage rates (APRs) that credit card companies can charge. Supporters argue that high interest rates trap consumers in a vicious cycle of debt, where paying off balances becomes nearly impossible. Critics, however, caution that such caps could have unintended consequences, like discouraging banks from issuing credit to higher-risk borrowers, potentially leaving some consumers without access to necessary financial tools. How Would the Cap Work? The proposed plan would implement a maximum APR on all credit card accounts, though the exact percentage has yet to be publicly finalized. The intent is to provide relief to the roughly 40% of American households carrying balances month-to-month, many of whom pay rates exceeding 20% annually. In theory, capping interest rates would reduce the financial burden on these borrowers. A consumer carrying a $5,000 balance with a 25% APR could save hundreds or even thousands of dollars in interest payments over a year if rates were capped at, say, 15%. For families living paycheck to paycheck, this could be the difference between staying afloat and defaulting. Potential Benefits Immediate Relief for Borrowers: Lower interest rates would allow more of each monthly payment to go toward the principal, helping people pay off debt faster. Reduced Financial Stress: For Americans struggling to cover minimum payments, a cap could ease anxiety and improve mental well-being. Consumer Protection: High-interest credit cards disproportionately affect lower-income households, so a cap could make the system fairer. Some economists argue that even a modest reduction in interest rates could have a ripple effect on the broader economy. If consumers spend less on interest and more on goods and services, it could stimulate demand, benefiting businesses and potentially supporting job growth. The Risks and Trade-Offs While the benefits sound compelling, implementing a credit card cap is not without risks: Credit Access Might Shrink: Banks may respond to lower allowable interest rates by tightening lending standards. Those with lower credit scores could find it harder to qualify for cards, leaving them with fewer options to manage expenses. Fees Could Rise: Financial institutions might offset lower interest rates by increasing annual fees, late fees, or other charges. The net effect for consumers could be less favorable than expected. Innovation May Stall: Banks and fintech companies often use interest rates to price risk. Limiting this flexibility could reduce incentives to develop new financial products tailored to consumer needs. These challenges highlight the tension between protecting consumers and maintaining a functional credit system. Any policy must balance relief with sustainability to avoid unintentionally hurting those it aims to help. Why Americans Are Paying Attention Trump’s proposal comes at a politically charged moment. Inflation may have eased slightly, but wages haven’t kept pace with costs, and household debt remains a pressing concern. A recent survey found that nearly 60% of Americans worry about their ability to manage monthly credit card payments. With the midterm elections on the horizon, proposals like this gain traction because they resonate with voters’ everyday struggles. For many Americans, credit card debt is more than just numbers on a statement—it’s a source of stress, a limitation on lifestyle choices, and an obstacle to long-term financial goals. Limiting interest rates could provide tangible relief and signal that policymakers are paying attention to these challenges. Historical Context Interest rate caps are not a new idea. In the 1970s and 1980s, states implemented various usury laws to limit how much lenders could charge. While some measures helped consumers, others inadvertently restricted access to credit. The mixed outcomes underscore the importance of careful implementation and oversight. Modern proposals, including Trump’s, aim to avoid these pitfalls by targeting specific consumer protections while attempting to preserve lending options. How successful this approach will be remains to be seen. Would It Actually Help? Experts suggest that a credit card cap alone will not solve America’s debt problem. While it could provide temporary relief for many, it doesn’t address the underlying issues driving debt growth, such as wage stagnation, high living costs, and insufficient financial education. However, as part of a broader strategy—including financial literacy programs, better consumer protections, and support for savings and emergency funds—it could be an important step. Lower interest rates may prevent people from spiraling into unmanageable debt while giving them breathing room to regain control of their finances. Conclusion Trump’s proposed credit card cap shines a spotlight on a critical issue: Americans are struggling under the weight of mounting debt, and immediate relief could be life-changing for millions. While the plan has potential benefits, it is not a silver bullet. Policymakers must carefully weigh the trade-offs to ensure the solution helps those in need without creating new problems. Ultimately, the conversation sparked by this proposal may be just as valuable as the policy itself. It forces a national discussion on debt, fairness, and financial security—a conversation that affects nearly every household in the country. As Americans navigate a complex financial landscape, thoughtful solutions, whether through interest caps or broader reforms, are essential to creating a more equitable and manageable path toward financial stability.
By Muhammad Hassan4 days ago in Humans
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