Checklist for Choosing An Ideal Mate

Most surveys show some common qualities people want in a mate. The characteristics in this article are all important in a relationship. Let's see what men and women desire in a mate.

People seek different qualities in a mate, but most surveys indicate some common characteristics males and females desire. Those surveys are known as "mate preferences."

The mate preferences in the itemized list below are not ranked. Instead, the traits are alphabetized. Therefore, readers can feel free to assign a ranking to their own mate preferences.

Affection

Affection in a relationship keeps it healthy. As two persons get to know each other, they begin to bond, which leads them to exchange romantic gestures such as holding hands, hugging, and kissing. As the relationship develops, the couple might move from the "friend zone" to something more romantic and affectionate.

Appreciation

Appreciation is a way of showing that someone is recognized and valued, even with imperfections. Appreciation fosters a sense of belonging, safety, and security.

Communication

Communication is a must for an ideal relationship. It should be open and honest so that two people will understand each other's needs and resolve conflicts constructively. Communication allows partners to share feelings for intimacy and other areas in a relationship.

Compatibility

Compatibility leads to a fulfilling relationship when there are similar core values, interests, hobbies, personalities, and lifestyle preferences. Without capability, a relationship is not solid enough to sustain the test of time.

Dependability

Mates should have no problem depending on each other and being reliable in a relationship. For a relationship to be strong and lasting, each person should be dependable.

Emotional Support

Emotional support is an essential ingredient that is needed for individuals to feel comfortable and confident that someone close to them always has their back.

Equality

Equality in a relationship means each person should be treated as an equal partner, with no one exhibiting superior or inferior behavior.

Generosity

Generosity will go a long way in a relationship when each partner freely gives to the other. Giving is a thoughtful and considerate way to satisfy a person's needs and feelings.

Growth

Relationships become strengthened when partners grow and mature as individuals. Something that will destroy a relationship is when one partner outgrows the other. However, a stable relationship exists when both people grow at a similar pace.

Having Fun Together

A healthy relationship exists when partners have fun together. According to the saying, there should not be "All work and no play." It helps when mates enjoy spending time and having fun together.

Honesty

Honesty should be a major part of any relationship. A relationship is in danger if either or both partners are dishonest. A relationship that can stand a chance of succeeding is one where there are no secrets and lies.

Humor

A sense of humor can make a relationship more enjoyable and help navigate difficult situations.

Kindness

Kindness will go a long way in a relationship when each person is thoughtful and considerate of each other's wants and needs.

Loyalty

Loyalty is ideal in any situation where two people can depend on and be faithful to each other.

Reliability

Reliability exists when partners can count on each other to do what is expected in a healthy relationship. Many conflicts are avoided when each partner follows through on promises.

Respect

Respect is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Without it, a couple won't value each other. Respect in a relationship is the springboard for other good qualities. The late Aretha Franklin knew the importance of respect. She demanded it in her song Respect.

Trust

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Therefore, partners should trust each other to feel safe and secure. Without trust, a relationship is doomed to fail.

Values

Shared values can help build a strong foundation for a long-term relationship. This should be on everybody's checklist. Having similar core values can help build a strong long-term relationship.

The Above List

Everything on the list above is important, but people may add more characteristics or delete those that don't matter to them.

This writer embraces everything on the list, but she would rank good communication near the top. It is a must for her. It would be a deal-breaker if communication was missing from her ideal relationship.

What's Not On the List

Some important factors could be deal-breakers if they are not considered:

• Physical attractiveness plays a role in initial attraction, but sometimes, over time, that wears off.
• Intellectual stimulation enhances relationships when partners often engage in worthwhile conversations.
• Emotional stability helps when both parties agree to handle life's challenges together.
• Ambition and goals lead to a better future for both when they encourage each other to move forward.
• Financial stability can be a major desire for some who consider that a top priority. Others know that it takes more than money to have a healthy relationship.
• Geographical proximity allows a couple to spend quality and quantity time together. While some long-distance relationships will work, they are not ideal for all couples.