CH.4 THE LIGHTWORKER'S MISSION

The hardest part about awakening to your soul purpose and being activated by divine love is that you have to allow the emotions to flow as you break through. At least that’s how it feels for me. I sit here watching Taylor Swift’s “Eras Tour” and the words, the frequencies, and sound waves all interconnect with my soul’s vibrations. There’s no point in holding back the tears anymore.

This is what it means to shed the old to step into the new. This is what it means to quantum shift timelines. I have to let the memories of love and heartbreak and almost lovers be released from my frequency. This has to happen. And there’s no other way to release it than through tears and breathing.

My heart flutters at the thought of two things: love and mission. Though they are intricately interconnected, they are completely different journeys. I am in the initiation state of my next timeline. This is where my fullest potential meets my highest timeline in this present day reality. This is where Princess Leah will finally break free and will be seen by the world. But in order to get there, she must first walk through the valley of the shadows of death.

This has been a long and arduous journey. For 32 trips around the sun at the time of this entry, there have been so many mini deaths that has catapulted me to who I am today. The soul wisdom that has been retrieved over this short period on earth is a bit unearthing in and of itself. The experiences that I have been through could have taken one out of this world completely, but I slayed those energy vampires like Buffy. I could not be defeated; but the battles have left plenty of scars that have kept me mentally limited in believing in myself.

I’m grateful for the power and strength within me. “The body is weak but the spirit is willing.” Spirit has fought these battles with me more than I could ever fathom. When everything felt like it was over for me, Spirit held me close and didn’t let me go. Time and time again, I thought I'd ruined my life to no return, and Spirit loved me beyond my unforgivable. I’ve never been so loved unconditionally as God has loved me, and this feeling brings me to tears.

Love. Perhaps that’s what I’m releasing right now. Though the memories of my journey are bittersweet, I wouldn’t trade them for the world. For it was because of this journey, that so much healing and synergy cultivated so powerfully, it formed a whole human, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. I know I have regrets about how things ended; recognizing that we weren’t ready for a baby, but who I have become since becoming a mother has been insurmountable to my growth. I never knew I could love to this capacity, and I certainly didn’t know I was holding so many deep Sacral wounds until I gave birth.

Now I feel love today in a way that I didn't know existed. My heart is expanding and healing all at once, and I can’t help but think about all that I’ve been through that brought me here. The heartache and tears that I’ve cried over lovers in the past, and the human desire to be loved has taken me to the edge of the earth that could’ve pushed me over with a single blow, but my angels have been with me. They kept me empowered even when I felt powerless. They held me even when I felt unworthy. Things may not have worked out, but I am so grateful that it panned out the way it did because now I know what love really is. I’ve learned that unconditional love isn’t something that’s earned, but our birthright given at the very beginning of time.

Mission. My purpose on this earth goes beyond time and space, just as love does. My calling is one of healing and harmony, but that is no small feat. As a lightworker, I am called to shine light in the darkness of our hearts, so that we can awaken to Conscious Love. In order to do so, I must shine light on and heal the darkness within me. Shadow work is unpleasant and uncomfortable. It forces me to look in the mirror and acknowledge all flaws and fears. I came up short, and I hurt the people I loved most. It made me learn to forgive those mistakes made (to myself and to others), as well as from others. It’s the hardest battle of them all: facing the monsters within. The demons of doubt, pride, hate and fear.

Love and fear cannot be in the same room, for they are on different frequencies. When I feel fear, I am not in love. When I choose love, fear cannot win. My mission in this world is to heal the heart of a woman and the soul of mankind. It’s a promise I make every day to myself and to God, and the only way I can accomplish this mission is through Conscious Love. I came to this world in this human vessel to experience it fully, freely and deeply. I said yes to the emotions and the trauma. I agreed to the pain because I also knew that in the crevasse of suffering, I will also feel the opposite; love.

Although my purpose and love are separate journeys, they interconnect at the core, making this life an effervescent promise of fulfillment and wonder. For that, I am forever grateful to be here today.