Caught Inside

Every morning started out the same for me. I was in such a routine so that I couldn’t be distracted by anything else or think of the fact that I hadn’t been with a girl in months. Not since my last submissive and I ended things, it was a mutual agreement. Something happened all those months ago and I was unable to be myself anymore, I needed to change things so that I could move on with my life, too bad it stuck with me. I distanced myself from everyone, even my best friend hasn’t seen me since the incident. Surfing has become my passion and it helps me stay level headed, shrinks were never for me.

Now I wake up, have a shower, go surfing, shower again, eat and then head into work. I work a lot as well so that there is hardly any time for my brain to bring up those memories. Currently this is where I am in my healing process, I take my frustration out on the water where it's just me and it. If I didn’t surf in the mornings, or sometimes more during the day, I feel as though I wouldn’t be able to function. This is how the day that changed my life began….

I woke up like usual, ready to start the day. We had a huge meeting coming up today and I was excited to pitch it. However, as I got out of the shower I heard a knock on the door. I glanced at the clock, it was 4:59am. That seemed way too early for people to be knocking on my door, unless it was someone I knew then they would know when I got up. I reach for a towel and wrap it around my torso, then head for the door. I open it to see a beautiful curvy woman on the other side. She is a sight for sore eyes for sure. Long Brunette hair, maybe 5”2 and curvy, just how I like them. It seemed a little early in the morning to be so done up which made me wonder if she got up early often like I did. It was a little chilly this morning so she was wearing a skirt that stopped just above her knees, thick knee high socks, boots, a semi revealing shirt, a nice jacket and an infinity scarf. Her hair was cascading down her shoulders and she was wearing minimal wake up, she was perfect, was there anyway she was as attracted to me as I was to her? Could I seal this deal now?

“Umm.. hello, Sir. I’m sorry to a….” Her eyes glance down at my body and I smirk.

“I know I'm an irresistible baby, but you need to be able to talk to me or this won’t work.”

Her eyes shot back up to meet mine, blinked, shook her head and continued. “Good morning Sir. I was told to drop this off to you at exactly 5am on this day. So here you go, have a good day!” She hands me a thick envelope and turns to leave.

“Ahh wait… Who is this from and why 5am?”

She whips back “I have no idea, just what I was told to do. I follow my orders Sir. Now good day!” She throws her hair over her shoulder and turns to leave again. Damn, what I wouldn’t do to be able to take her over my knee for thinking she can talk to me like that. But instead I hold my tongue and watch her and her gorgeous ass walk down my driveway.

I opened the envelope to see a bunch of papers and I didn’t understand what they said, something about a child and a girl I used to know. There were a bunch of pictures of Debby and a kid, so I guess she wanted to show me what she looked like now and how her life was going. But that didn’t make sense, why would she suddenly want me to know? I dug through the papers for an explanation but I couldn’t find one. There were tons of pictures of this kid as a baby, two years old, four, six, and eight. Debby was in all of them. I found report cards and pictures that I’m assuming this little boy had drawn. But it still didn’t make sense to me why I would care? We had been history for about 9 years now, I knew her in college, we dated and things didn’t work out so we went our separate ways. Then it dawned on me just what I was looking at. It couldn’t be, could it? Was I a father and didn’t know? I needed to call my lawyer now and figure out what was happening.

I stared at those papers for far too long trying to figure out what they meant. There was no way that I was a father… why wouldn’t she have told me before now? My number had never changed in all these years, just where I was living and she managed to figure that out. I was where I wanted to be now, right on the beach where I was free to surf as much or as little as I wanted to. But at this moment I didn’t feel like surfing, I was too confused to concentrate on it, so instead I called my lawyer and told him I was on my way over, he didn’t even hesitate at the time. I grabbed the stack of papers and headed out, making sure to grab Davis a coffee on the way, as I was likely waking him up.

By the time I pulled into his driveway it was 5:45am, I knocked on his door and waited patiently for him to open the door and let me in. When he opened the door I didn’t waste any time, rushed in and sat at the table with my head in my hands. I let out a huge sigh “What am I supposed to do Davis?”

He sat down beside me, grabbed a coffee, cheered me on and began to read the sheets “Let me read these first, how about you go for a jog and chill out?”

I whipped my head up. “Excuse me? A jog? You think I can function at a time like this?”

“No, clearly you can't. That's why I figured a jog might help get you to a better spot and allow me to read without you breathing down my neck.”

“Fine… I don’t think it’ll help though….” I grabbed my coffee and headed out. I never thought of living somewhere without a beach or something to look at, but if I ever had it would be an area like this, clean, quiet and homey. I don’t know why I mentioned or even thought of that last one, I didn’t have a great upbringing, so how would I know what that would feel like? I started my walk, looking around the community as I let my mind wander.

When I was eight my father died. I'm not sure why he died. I just remember him being taken away in an ambulance and I never saw him again. I remember my mother screaming at me and crying hysterically. That was a tragic night and I remember it like it was yesterday, I went through years of therapy getting to where I was now with it. I could think or talk about it without breaking down and crying. After that night my mom was never the same, I guess I shouldn’t blame her, but she changed into someone I didn’t know anymore. I was trained to hide the way she treated me, I was starved and had no toys or friends to play with. My room consisted of a bed and that was about it. I learned early how to take care of myself because my mother wouldn’t. If I wanted to eat I had to make it myself, I also had to go grocery shopping myself so I kept myself busy by doing a lot of the neighbourhood in order to get money to keep myself fed.

My mom blamed me for what had happened to my father. I will never understand why she didn’t just put me into foster care or give me away if I was such a burden to her. But I guess then she wouldn’t have been able to collect the child care pay checks that came in the mail every month. I knew they came because she would come home with about $1000 in booze and drugs, not that it lasted very long. There were a lot of men that came in and out of our house, I used to hear my mom screaming. Or at least I thought they were screams, now that I’m older I know exactly what was happening and I feel terrible about it. She ended up dying by the time I turned fourteen, how she made It that long I have no idea. From there I was put into the system and treated like shit, no one wanted to adopt a fourteen year old. Who could blame them? All the cute in me was gone and I was damaged, but at least I knew how to take care of myself. I became very good at hiding my feelings from people and just went to school, came home, did my homework and listened to music.

I made sure that I passed every subject the first time, no matter how many times I was transferred between people. I didn’t want to have to depend on anyone ever again by the time I finished school so I worked as hard as I could to make sure I graduated with honours and could get a scholarship to college. That is where I met Debby, we dated for about a year and figured out we weren’t right for each other, we also decided to go our separate ways and she moved schools.

I still remember the first time I laid eyes on her, she was one of those smart but pretty girls. She was obsessed with being popular and loved by everyone and thought that if everyone knew she was smart that they wouldn’t like or respect her, so instead she acted like she was averagely smart. I however caught on when I continued to see that all of the work she turned in came back with a great big A+ on it. So one day after everyone was gone and she was packing up I asked her about it, she told me that I had to keep her secret. I told her I would if she would agree to go on a date with me. I took her to a field where we had a picnic and got to know each other. We also ended up having sex in the middle of the field, that was a nice touch might I add. It hadn’t been what I was expecting at all, it just sort of happened because we both got along great.

We went to a lot of parties and had a lot of mutual friends, but then one day I figured out that I didn’t want to be popular, it never mattered to me. I understood why she wanted to be though, in her younger years of school she had been bullied a lot. So when she got to high school she decided she was going to reinvent herself, and it worked. She became popular almost instantly, it was like the old her never existed. I got to know both sides of her because I gotta see her behind closed doors, turns out I liked the old her better then the new her. It's not that she was dramatically different it's just that I preferred the girl that wasn’t obsessed with being popular. So one night we mutually decided that we wanted different things and said goodbye. I remember that night like it was yesterday. We ordered something in for supper that night, had our discussion, watched a movie, had sex, fell asleep together and in the morning she was gone. That was the end of the relationship, but at least we had that one last night together. Hmm… that was one of the only nights we didn’t use a condom either, so I wonder if that was the night she got pregnant. I had never heard from her again until now, not that I hadn’t tried. I figured we could still stay friends, but apparently that would have ruined her image or something. So I went about my business.

My phone rings in my pocket, it's Davis. I answer and go to lift the phone to my ear to say hello, but he starts talking. “Alec, where are you?”

I quickly look around and notice that I am standing in front of a pond. “Ahhh… I’m not sure where I am actually. I’m standing in front of a pond, but I don’t see anything else. It sure is a beautiful sight though, even when I’m lost in my mind it seems I am attracted to water.”

“Did you get hit on the head on your walk? You’ve been gone for two hours, I figured you would have gone around the block and then been back in here banging on the table for me to finish up. As for the pond, there could be two that you're at, both are a bit of a walk so i'll come get you. Tell me what it looks like.”

I described what I was looking at and he said he knew exactly which one I was at and was on his way. I sat down on the bench near the water and just took in everything. The birds chirping in the early morning breeze, the frogs, the stillness of the world. I looked back down at my phone before putting it back in my pocket to realize that I had text messages from Davis an hour ago asking where I was and one from my best friend asking how the waves were today. I would answer Johnson later, have him over for drinks and play pool. I had a feeling after I figured out what those papers said for real I was going to need a stiff drink.

I sat and stared at the pond for another 15 minutes or so, I must have really been out of it to walk this far away. Just then I heard a car and it killed the mood of the place entirely. I looked up to see it was him so I got up and made my way over.

“Hey man, thanks for coming to get me. I don’t really know how I ended up here. I left your house and then you called me and here I was.”

“It's fine, I’m sure that’s normal after the things you have spiralling through your head. Which are correct by the way. You are a father, you have a son named Trevor and he is eight. He doesn’t have any reported problems that anyone has been able to find, so that’s a plus.”

I let out a sigh and dropped my head into my hands again. “Okay, so what? She's coming after me for child support? This isn’t fair.”

“Umm.. no not exactly. She wants you to have part custody of him. Said that you deserve that if you want it.”

“I mean, of course I want that. I don’t want, Trevor, did you say? To have to go through what I did when I was a kid. I want to get to know him and be a part of his life. It just came as a shock to me and I wish I had known about him before he was eight!”

“She provided two plane tickets in that envelope as well. She wants you to come down for thanksgiving in a month. I’m assuming she provided two because she figured you had a girlfriend. Which you don’t. So would you prefer I go with you so that we can talk about what will happen after this trip or do you want to take Johnson?”

“Jeez, I have no idea. I’ll have to think about it. Was there anything else in that stack of papers?”

“Not really no, just the pictures, birth certificate and plane tickets. She wanted you to feel like you were already part of the family and didn’t miss any of him growing up from what I can gather. Why did she wait until he was eight to tell you about him though I have no idea.”

We pull back up to his house and he hands me the envelope, I never even realized it was sitting on the dashboard this whole time. I thank him for his time and apologize for waking him up then head back to my house. The waves are calling to me, that’s where I do my best thinking. Now that I have figured out what is happening I want to think about what my next step is.

THREE WEEKS LATER

I told everyone that needed to know that I was a father, everyone was as shocked as I was. But the idea had been growing on me, I had never thought of having kids because of my upbringing. But after finding out I had one I decided I wanted this, and I wanted it badly. It was a way to erase my childhood and be the best father I could to Trevor. I hadn’t met him yet but one week from now I would.

I had everything I was talking with me packed, I had a house sitter planned and Johnson said he would come with me for emotional support. We had been through a lot, him and I. He was 30 and had already been through a divorce, his wife had been cheating on him behind his back. I was the one that had to break the news to him when she tried to hit on me. I thought she was playing around and first but then she kissed me and I pushed her off. After that I kept my eyes on her and eventually she slipped up and I saw her coming out of a hotel room with a man that wasn’t her husband. I would have given her the benefit of the doubt had there been a restaurant in there and her lipstick hadn’t been smudged.

That was a terrible thing to have to tell your best friend, I couldn’t hide it from him though, so one night I went over there and surprised him with our favourite bottle of whiskey, sat him down and told him what had happened. He didn’t even question what I was telling him because he trusted me, turns out once he kicked her to the curb a few other friends came forward with the same news. Needless to say they are not as close friends as they once had been, seeing as their solution to the problem was to keep it hidden.

Now it was my turn to need my friend, no my wife wasn’t cheating on me. But I was now a father and had no idea how to be one, I just knew that I wanted him to like me and I wanted to be there for him. Debby and Trevor lived on the other side of the country. I had researched the area and found out there was a beach nearby, so I made sure to book my hotel reservations there. I had a feeling I was going to need it, the problem was I couldn’t bring my board with me, I didn’t trust the airport people to treat it well. So instead I decided I would buy one there, I had a feeling I would be back there anyway, so I may as well keep a board there so I could show Trevor how to use it one day. I had to make sure he could swim first though.

We landed later that day and went straight to the hotel where we deposited our bags and then made our way to the beach. We stayed on the water for a few hours and then I called Debby to let her know we had settled in and I was ready to meet my son. She gave me her address and said she'd see me in a bit.

By the time we showed up at her house I was shaking. I was so nervous to meet Trevor, would he like me? Would I be a good father? I hoped so. I rang the doorbell and waited, Johnson patted me on the back “It’s going to be fine man, calm down!” Before I could answer him the door swung open and a little boy was on the other side of it with a huge smile on his face. “Hi, Daddy! I’ve been waiting to meet you! Do you want to see my room? Come on, let me show you!” He ran up the stairs, “Come on! I want to show you.”

Then I noticed Debby was standing just off to the side of the door, she looked just as I remembered for the most part, maybe a little pale, but I think that’s normal given the circumstances. “Trevor, dear. Give Alec a second to at least take his shoes off and have a drink. You’ll have plenty of time to show him your room later.” He walked back down the stairs and stood beside her, it gave me a second to look at them together. He had her eyes and nose, my tallness and my hyperness it seemed.

By the time Trevor had gone to bed for the night I had seen his room and about every single toy he owned, I’m glad he was happy, his life was very different then mine had ever been at his age. Me, Johnson and Debby all sat around the kitchen table with a drink.

“Debby. Why did you choose now to tell me about him?”

She let out a heavy sigh, “I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t bring myself to upturn your life like that. The reason I told you now is because Trevor has started to ask about his father. It’s not that I didn’t think you would be a great father, because I think you’ll be wonderful at it. You know how my upbringing was and I didn’t want that to repeat itself. But I realized I was being selfish and that I should at least tell you about him and let you make your own decisions about how you want to proceed. Although, that being said, as you can tell he is super excited that you are here now.”

“It’s okay, I’m not mad at you or anything. We were young, at the time I don’t know what I would have done, I would have been here to support you and him. I know that much. But I understand why you did what you did, what do you see happening going forward with this?”

We talked for hours about her childhood that I had missed, what had happened when she found out she was pregnant and what our plans were going forward. She asked me if I would be willing to move out here or at least come visit every once in a while. I told her of course I would, I would start working on the arrangements to be transferred to this side of the country immediately. I didn’t want Trevor to grow up without a father, he didn’t deserve that and I wanted him to know going forward that I would be here for anything and everything. One way or another I was winning her back, I wanted our family to be whole.