Breakfast in bed

The thing about kindness that always touches me is when it isn’t needed. Sure, you can say kindness is always needed, but that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about that kindness that goes unnoticed. The king of kindness that is subtle, that slips under the radar and straight into your heart without even realising, not because it isn’t appreciated, but perhaps because it’s hard to spot, or it’s just so simple, so small. Sometimes, the person giving the kindness might not even realise themselves. It’s a micro-kindness, if you will. This is my favourite kind of kindness. It’s pure, it’s sweet, but it’s effective. Oh so effective. It’s this kind of goodness in the world that is buildable, and the more and more layers you add, the deeper the feelings of warmth and love go within our hearts. Like the saying goes, little things mean a lot.

When I met my partner, I felt out of touch. I hadn’t really ever experienced micro-kindness, or if I had, I hadn’t noticed it. But meeting him changed that. For some reason unbeknownst to me, meeting him gave me clarity. Not clarity on a grand scale, but literal clarity. My life up until then felt foggy, I strained to see. As soon as we met, my eyes became focussed. Suddenly I had 2020 vision. It was then that I started noticing the little things. Has the sky always been this blue? Has the jumper I’ve worn a thousand times always been this itchy? Have I always had a crooked mouth when I smile nervously? He’s the one who pointed that out. But I wasn’t embarrassed, why should I have been? It suits my face, he said. Smiling at my own reflection from the spoon I had handy, I agreed. It does suit my face doesn’t it?

This new ability to see, to not just look, but to see the world was fascinating, is fascinating me still, and with any luck always will fascinate me. Thanks to his micro-kindness (that I doubt he was even aware of), I feel for the first time, like I can see them in action. Since meeting him, I've noticed every elderly couple holding hands. I’ve seen every child sharing their new toy with another child who they hadn’t even known. I’ve been witness to the forming of friendships that will last a lifetime, and the love stories that will be told to grandchildren. Since meeting him, I have felt every handhold, every hug and every kiss on my cheek like never before. I live in these moments of micro-kindnesses. I feel them on a molecular level. These are the moments that make me excited to see the world, not cower from it. Small acts of kindness take up big places in our hearts.

Some days they’re harder to see, but I know they’re always there. He makes sure to remind me. On the days it seems as though the world and all its occupants are against me, he makes sure to tell me my hair looks great. In times of dread and overwhelming anxiety, he makes sure to hug me a little tighter. Just yesterday, when all I wanted to do was give up and sleep endlessly, he handed me another micro-kindness. Unprompted, not asked for, but needed. And just like that, I fell in love all over again. This one small good deed will stay with me, and I promise that I will cherish it. Now you reader may think this is no big deal, that that’s what partners are supposed to do, but that’s just not how I see things anymore. I see everything as if it were my first time all over again, and I get to relive the happiness over and over again. I have him to thank for that.

Pancakes, for me? What did I do to deserve you?