Birthdays

I've been blessed over my life to have been surrounded by people who think that birthdays are important, and that a person's birthday should be special.

I turned 33 on Sunday, and while I didn't have a huge celebration, I had a very enjoyable day. It sent me down memory lane a bit, as hitting milestones like birthdays are want to do.

My mom has always been the queen of birthday surprises. One year I asked for a new stereo, and was slightly disappointed when it wasn't included among my other gifts. I'd been taught to be grateful, however, so I didn't think too much of it. Then she randomly asked me to get something out of the trunk of my car.

I opened the trunk to find the very stereo I'd asked for. In hindsight, I'm sure it's partially because she didn't want to waste tons of wrapping paper to cover the box, but I was very surprised and excited.

My mom had a laptop that I would frequently borrow to work on my then short stories and other writing. One birthday, she asked me to grab her laptop bag and bring it to her. When I did, she told me to take her laptop out and hand it to her. I pulled it out and was confused; this wasn't her laptop. "Happy Birthday!"

When I turned 16, my mom planned a little surprise party for me with some of our church members. I had a cake and a tiara; it was memorable to me because I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a cake from the store rather than one made for me by my mom or siblings. And one of our church members made the BEST chicken spaghetti.

My 21st birthday was one of her best moments. All week I'd asked her what was happening on my birthday, and wondering why she was being so secretive. "If I tell you, it won't be your birthday," she declared when I kept asking.

Didn't make a lick of sense, but I let it go.

That Saturday she took me to our friend's church. In the fellowship hall I found an assortment of my college, community theatre, and ballroom dance club friends. I couldn't fathom how she'd gotten in contact with all of them, but I was extremely surprised and happy.

That was the last of my mom's big surprises, since I soon after moved away from home. My first year of teaching, I had new teacher training on my birthday - though one of my new teammates made me brownies the next day so that it would still feel special.

My ex-boyfriend enjoyed big surprises as well, so I got everything from clothes to fancy dinners to theatre tickets. He was always great at styling, so one year he styled me from head to toe and did a mini photoshoot with me, touching up the photos and helping me find flattering poses. Birthdays were big events for him as well, and I enjoyed the ways he made me feel special on mine.

One year a friend and her boyfriend took me to Baltimore, where we visited the Ripley's Believe-It-Or-Not museum and wandered around before grabbing dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Another year I invited a group of friends for dinner there as well.

One birthday, in particular, was hard. But not because I didn't have anyone around me to help me celebrate. A co-worker, who I'd come to see as a big sister of sorts, suddenly passed away a week before my birthday. Until then, there had never been anything of the sort to bring my mood down on my birthday. I was heartbroken. Her memorial service was on the actual day of my birthday, and I wanted nothing to do with celebration. A couple of days before she suddenly went to the hospital, I'd mentioned that my birthday was coming up and she wished me a happy early birthday. That phrase was all that I could hear as I sat at her memorial, crying my eyes out.

At the suggestion of other friends and family, I decided to do something to actually celebrate. With my school mom and my other friend from before, we went to the Aquarium and the Cheesecake Factory again. It was much more somber, but these two women did their best to support me and make me laugh - even surprising me by getting the waiters to sing happy birthday to me.

I haven't had any more birthdays like that one. Life got significantly happier for me, especially with my boyfriend being in my life. Early on in our relationship, he asked when my birthday was and immediately put it into his phone calendar so that he wouldn't forget. And he hasn't.

My first birthday with him was in the middle of the week. I spent the actual day by myself going to museums, and then he came over that Saturday to have dinner with my dad - the first time they'd met. I was in a panic most of the day, but they hit it off immediately and it turns out I had nothing to be worried about.

The next year, my birthday fell on a Friday. He arranged for me to have a massage and a mud wrap, and then we met for dinner that evening and spent the weekend together. He even took me to a bookstore and let me loose - a dangerous proposition, if you know how much I love books.

But this year was the best, in my opinion. We spent the entire day together. First breakfast, then a bit of shopping, an escape room, another bookstore visit, a movie, dinner, and then wandering around the grocery store in search of dessert.

Though it wasn't big or flashy, it was a day that made me feel special. Between the day spent with him and the texts, calls, and Facebook posts, I was reminded that all of these different celebrations were important for me at different parts of my life. At 33, I've settled into a mostly quiet life, and this birthday celebration was reflective of that.

Happy Birthday to me.