Begin Again

To say we all have said our many good-byes to 2020 would be an understatement. However, we also need to remember it didn't start out terribly. Before the virus, I had started a few projects and stories that I was super excited about! I had ideas planned out, and my goal was to get my very first original story published by the end of the year. I had 2020 locked and loaded with creativity, and I was ready to go!

Then Spring Break hit, and I think we all remember how that went.

Suddenly, all motivation was lost. Everything was in shambles, and the next thing I knew, it was Thanksgiving. I had all but lost nearly half a year to this virus simply because the busy life of a summer camp wasn't so busy anymore. Menial jobs were taking up most of the day's work to the point where we were running out of stuff to clean. Buildings were deep cleaned like never before, and gutters unclogged as if they were brand new. Time flew by, and it seemed like 2020 was wasted away to nothing but fear and loneliness.

By Christmas, I could feel a mild case of depression that all extroverted people were probably feeling with all of this, despite being an introvert. I was tired of being tired with nothing to do, and completely done with cleaning for the rest of my life. However, I stumbled upon an old notebook with drawings and ideas I had started back at the beginning of the year. I reminisced on all the ideas that never were finished. Stories I had started and lost interest in. Artwork I had sketched out but never fully colored in.

Then it hit me.

Why did I let that virus take away my goals? Why did I let fear and doubt sink in and steal away all that I had planned?

I hold no optimism for 2021. I don't doubt that it could be just as bad as last year, but I refuse to let that take away my plans again. I have restated and restarted all the plans I had for last year. If things start to get better again, then great! It will help me improve upon my work. However, if it all hits the fan once more, then I will push through it all. My main motivation behind all of this is my Heavenly Father never giving up on me, despite all that comes around or that I do wrong. He hasn't given up on me, so why should I give up on my creations? My imagination? My hard work?

This year, my plans are simple but difficult to attain. I have been working on a story for well over three years now, and I wish to have it finished and published by this upcoming holiday season. Not only that, but I have been writing stories on another site for years now and I have recently created a story that I wish to turn into a comic series for an online comic app. My goal is to have the first three chapters done and ready to upload by March. On top of all of that, I wish to get my artwork and commissions started once again, but actually DO them!

All of these things I started last year, and the dreams deflated with the fear and doubt and terror that started to sink in. Sorrow also filled me as I watched my beloved nation, my home, start to sink into a battleground. My heart was heavy, not for myself, but for those that were stuck in areas where violence was running rampant. We are supposed to be the nation of the free and the home of the brave, but this past year has shown something completely different than that.

I refuse to let that stop me.

I will begin again, start over, and finish what I started. It may take longer than what I originally plan out, but baby steps are needed before we start running. I have already restarted many projects, making headway that seemed impossible to me only a few months ago. All that was needed was a little push over the edge, and now I'm flying through everything bit by bit.

I'm not saying it will be easy, but that it will be a learning process for me. Each of us has our own way of pushing through obstacles, and that should be something that brings us together. I want this year to be a year that everyone has a chance to begin again, and finish what they have started.

Because that's exactly what I plan on doing.