Ashes to Ashes

Rushing out her garage to seek cover from the cold like she has all other winter days she fumbled for her keys. Sloshing up the icy wet stairs she almost put her key in the lock when a car pulled into her driveway. The turn signals blinking off the front and the slow pull in made it obvious they weren’t just turning around somewhere or lost. They were cautiously waiting to enter here this big Navy blue SUV. She paused with her keys poised and ready to pierce the hole but froze in alertness as she curiously observed this vehicle. Did she know someone with this model of car? She couldn’t bring any concrete thoughts or memories to answer that question. Two men’s silhouettes formed she now could peered into the SUV. A slight moment of panic rode up her spine and hair already standing tall like soldiers In this cold;crept up even higher. Should she hurry inside and get a weapon? Should she tactfully wait to see what they say with her cell phone ready to call authorities? Before she could panic much longer the driver popped out with a welcoming smile. He wore a business suit and shiny watch, about the only thing not dull in this wet wintery day in Faith, NC. The coulds white grey and heavy with future snow dimmed out much of everything. He stated her name firmly and pronunciation was sharp. He gestured to her with a gentle hand as he then asked if that was indeed her. She found her phone and had it ready as she shoved her house key into the lock. She felt unsure of how the man knew her name and now the other man closest to her was exiting the SUV. “Don’t be alarmed we are just following up from an estate we need to close out. We have been trying to reach you by phone but I’m afraid we have the wrong number or perhaps an older one.” His voice was soft, and kind of sexy. She felt immediately soothe and slightly turned on.

“You can stay right there, please. Go on I’m listening.” She was bold in her commands to them and held her arm out toward them signaling STOP.

The man pulled out a little black book. It had a glaze of light ripple across the front as he opened it. After a good while of explaining a circumstance to her she agreed to meet them in a lawyers office uptown tomorrow shortly after lunch.

She opened her door and went into her warm safe haven. Sling around locked the door and released her bag and heavy coat off into the floor as she bent down and squented to watch them leave through her peek hole. Her body shivered in an uncontrolling shiver of relief that she was not outside in this wet cold anymore. She subconsciously prayed for a dry snow soon and this wintery mix to be over.

The words the man had said replayed in her head as she tried to register what was going on. The lady up the road had passed away and was leaving her 20,000 dollars and all of her cookware. She barely knew the woman amd honestly didn’t even recall her name. But she did know someone who did know this woman. That was her other neighbor that is closer to her. She takes him pork chop dinners and left over meat loaves when she cooks. He is a widow and offers to mow or help her out. Even though she has never taken him up for his hospitality, due to her guilt of even entertaining that idea, him being close to 80 years old, she does things for him in response. He has mentioned the lady in the white corner houses name before. She welcomed her cat with a quick rub and let her terrier out to potty now that no one was in her driveway. Then made her way to her phone. She called Mr. Eagle and asked him the ladies name. He sounded so glum and almost heartbroken as he talked about his neighbor that has passed. Her instincts told her that he was the ladies lover. He loved her. It poured out into his tone and the words he used to talk about her. Mr. Eagle the lonely widow was after all in love with Mrs. Reed. It made so much sense to her now at why he was always upbeat and jolly under his label and being a older man and widow. He was not what everyone assumed. He was a young at heart in love man that lived right down the road from his heart. Poor Mr. Eagle she thought as she debated on telling him about the money and personal items the cookware she’d be inheriting. Was this call the Right Time to bring that up? Would she put salt in an already raw sore? Would the fact this lady never really even knew her was leaving her a piece of her life bother or provoke envy to this mushy heart broke man? She decided to leave it unsaid for the time being.

The next morning she fought herself with what she should wear to the lawyers office. And she fought the clock as well as her indecisiveness did not stop the clock from ticking. Today was even uglier and more disrespectful than the day before. She drove as fast as she could and still have a safe control over her car in sleet and rain. Would she still receive the money if she was super late or would they take that as a write off to her not wanting it and more on to the next wish on the Will. She didn’t know how these things worked but she did know being late wasn’t going to be wise on her part. As she pulled into and made her way into the lobby or this lawyers office that looked like it was once an old book store that had been gutted but the trim and molding remained she finally took a breath. She felt like she had been holding her breath the whole ride and her stomach of nervous energy wasn’t agreeing with the rest of her. Her hands even shook a little.

The lawyer stood as she entered the room escorted by the assistant. Even upon his greeting stance she took notice he had the little black notebook still under his palm on the desk. The little black notebook that held the details. The details that were slung into statements. The statements that had changed her life within seconds. This little black notebook had the jots and brainstorming down from a man that was now taking over the significance of a life. The estate of a once living person. “Wow” she mustered to slip out her mouth. The words were formed out of her notion of how fast and short life can be. How temporary we are actually here. Yet the Innocent word wow caused her to immediately start to blush. Like her leaking a word out her month was the worse thing in the world. Like if her could read her mind and knew she thought his voice was sensual and stern in the most attractive way. She blushed like a school girl being winked at by her crush. Would he think she said wow out loud about him. I mean I did say it as I walked in the room she pondered. He smiled and started to be official and sign papers and she asked one question she never would have guessed she’d ask.

“May I see your notebook?” She said it as she was already reaching out to pick it up rudely without permission. Her asking was mere warning of something she was already doing.

The notebook in her hand felt light. Almost non-existing. It was-was it even there? It stated to fade like a distant memory fades. She could she her curled fingers through where it once was. She gasped. She was holding nothing. It was like it melted away. He cleared his throat and proceeded as if nothing happened. Like nothing happened to her. Like she imagined it all. She still in confusion and disbelief looked up at him as to say how dare you dismiss this. Her stare burned into his conscience. “Okay.”

he said Like he would give her her explanation since she deemed it necessary.

“ I’m the only one that can read it.”

Like his explaination even explained anything! She crunch up her cheeks and shook her head as she glared at him.

Obviously his words didn’t puzzle together the phenomenon.

He slide his hand out to the desk clicking his fingers gently once in a tap with hers. He then all of a sudden was sliding the little black notebook back across the desk. She burned with amazement and disbelief yet she also was lit up with a chemistry at his touch. She wondered if he felt it too. Who was this man and why was she so smitten by him? Was this the weird destiny crap other people talked about? Would they have a future? Was she lame? Her head was not asking the right questions right after seeing something tangible disappear and reappear. He smiled at her. Now she felt as if not only was this magic oddity occurring with items but this man was reading her mind! Her blushing cheeks turned into heat. He leaned forward as to bring her back down to earth and whispered “ may I cotinue?”

Then he didn’t. It was like he was just saying those words because they were expected to be said in a professional setting. Instead he just peered at her slight smirk on his face. He was trying to seduce her? He was trying to play games? What was he doing? she thought.

A flash of a scene came into her mind. Her holding him tight kissing him passionately. It was like she was not in her body but watching from the outside. She was watching herself and this man in an embrace of romance in this office. She snapped out of it. She felt shame. She’d never done any fantasizing like this before. She was normally very pose and focused on moral actions and reality.

His pause was almost like he knew she’d have this vision. He is the one that put it there. Figurative or literally, she was not herself as she ran this idea through her head. Why was he not continuing, as normal ?

The little black book now sporting itself in his front pocket bouncing around near his chest. She couldn’t just let it be. She could not just accept what all was happening. She lunges forward to grab the little black notebook again. This time she was able to open it. It was like he allowed her to. The first page was burned on the edges and had a poem in it. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, floating, gliding, falling from above, flickering out. Drifting black, down, down, down. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The pages were signed and brown spots here and there encased with grey black burned paper. It was beautiful yet somber. Morbid. It was death. It was a metaphor of what he deals with in his job. No details of estates. No nothing important about her. No personal information on her like she thought she’d find. Just a little black notebook holding a deep poem.

She laid down the notebook as she slowly stood up and backed away from his desk. She said she’d be in touch. She exited without his wishes or appropriate timing.

She wasn’t scared. She wasn’t in awe. She wasn’t in amazement or excitement anymore. She was completely calm but longed to detach from the occurrence and Disassociate from them for a break. She felt she needed a moment. She wanted to handle things that were unfolding with logic and soundness and she felt crazy. Was she emotional? Was something going on with her that would make her do the wrong moves. Her next move was imperative. She knew what she wanted from all this. And it was not a one time thing. She wanted in on the oddity and the muse. She wanted him! She had never wanted a man so much in her life. She knew something needed to be altered and quick because she went from trying to figure out what she’d do with 20,000 dollars and how her name was even known by Mrs. Reed. Perhaps Mr. Eagle had mentioned how she cooked for him to the lady.

But instead she was only thinking about this little black notebook and the sexy voice bestowing man that owned it. She didn’t know what it was she was getting into. But she knew she wanted in. Ashes to ashes.