Are we loving or containing?

What is it about beauty that makes us want to contain it for ourselves? 

When an amazing love crashes into us and catches us off guard, is it not human nature to want it around us as much as possible? We are at a point in society that we associate quantity with quality. More is better. Always. What could be better than a bag of delicious M&M's?

A BUCKET of Costco M&M's of course.

This has been my struggle with society and becoming a minimalist. I don't want more shit. I want quality relationships that lift me up. It is my great desire to achieve the absolute greatest potential I can in everything that I do, including love.

I've spent the past 3 years in non-monogamy, having safe and enjoyable sex with a variety of people and situations. I never wanted to expose myself to being hurt by mistrust again, and I grew to believe that monogamy was a form of control, constantly trying to pull me back into the world of becoming a provider to a family.

Being a provider and a homebody is not my strong suit. I desire to be desired. I want to be the most attractive version of myself and bring love to the world around me.

Now I have met someone who has swept me off of my feet and turned back to monogamy. She makes me feel everything I've ever wanted to feel from a person. She makes me feel complete.

Does this mean I will remain monogamous forever?

What defines the "success" of a relationship?

Is special love meant to be ours forever? 

Should we just be happy for the moments we are given? Or Are we entitled to feel this way forever?

Why do we feel threatened by others making choices opposite of our own when it comes to love? 

Why is there so much discrimination between the "Swinger" and "Vanilla" world? Why do we hate and judge each other?

Is it possible to change your mind about sexual orientation? I mean we always say that is a disgusting point of view, but haven't I?

"How dare you suggest that sexual orientation is a choice. That is a bigoted point of view."

I ask you, is non-monogamy a sexual orientation, or a choice? Why are you better because you didn't make a choice? Aren't choices powerful? Aren't they courageous? Isn't that character the human race values more than anything?

A rebel?

A game changer?

I have fallen in love, and she needs monogamy. I am making a choice to return to monogamy. 100 percent because of her. If I didn't feel the love I feel for her, I would be non-monogamous 100 percent.

Don't try and understand this point if you and comment on it if you haven't lived it.

That is a bigoted point of view.

Unless you have lived a non-monogamous life that I have, how can you POSSIBLY pretend to understand the mental and emotional ability it takes to go from one system of beliefs to another, to let go of what you know is the reality of a relationship?

You haven't played the game. You haven't been to war like I have.

Are you going to stand on a pulpit, declare yourself superior, because you refuse to experience the same realities I have?

Here's my point, that I don't think is too much to ask from another human being.

If you judge a culture without having experienced it, without walking in their shoes, feeling the pain, the love, the consciousness of their reality then...

You are a bigot.

This will be my journey. To discuss these topics, to relieve myself of the burden of ego, and to love unconditionally regardless of the terms.

At the end of the day, we all crave love, for it is the greatest stimulant of the human consciousness.