Apartment 413

October 29, 2020

Several things are new. First off, my excitement for life again as this cold weather comes in. I have a lot of people reading my blogs, well more like a handful, but that is exciting to me none the less. My hair had a transformation (I cut it short and dyed it a nice fall color). Also, my boyfriend and I after a quick Austin trip this weekend just feel all around better. I feel like we are both in love again, or not again but like we got over a hurdle together in our relationship. Lately there had been a lot of up and constant downs, so it feels like we really surpassed a great big obstacle and things feel okay again. Happy again.

This past weekend Chris and I went out to Austin, Texas for the weekend. The literal weekend only, but we got to go to a park, hike a mountain and thrift a little. I call that a successful weekend. Not only that we also got a couple of good new pictures to add to our collection of adventures. Right before taking off to Austin I had a hair appointment at a new salon that I found a hairstylist at. Before I proceed, two things you should know, Saturday morning was cold, I wore sweats. The salon was so fancy and pretty looking that I felt so out of place, no makeup, messy hair, and in sweats!? Oh my god… if only you could see what I saw and was wearing. Not that I am one to care for what I look like because we were all wearing masks so really, does it matter? No, but regardless it made me feel like I did not belong. In this world of pampering, skin, nails, and hair. I am not one to be of that world. Not because I don’t like it, but because my entire life I have loved being a tomboy. Yearly, I do my nails about three times, my hair at a salon like twice, and I have NEVER been to a spa. I will go one day though, just have not made the time or effort. In any case that girl transformed my hair so beautifully people could no longer question whether I belonged or not after that cut and dye.

After the salon appointment and Chris got a haircut, we were both freshly faded and dyed and ready to take on an adventurous weekend getaway. That Is precisely what we did. I know these past couple of weeks when I talk about our relationship the blogs have been very loaded. This tends to happen in our relationship because we have been in each other’s lives for a long time now. No, we are not a 20-year marriage yet, but five years of dating and being in a relationship is pretty serious commitment. We are both playing for keeps, and when you are playing the long-term game, it takes practice and patience. We are both young and growing and maturing as we grow, so yes life has been getting a little scary and real. Chris and I tend to let things blow over and over until we kind of let it all pour out one day. This is not a bad thing but carrying around worries or feelings for long time that you do not want to carry around is not good. I feel like we both have this appreciation for nature that if we go on a walk or a hike, we can really release a lot of that energy. I believe this weekend fed my soul and brought me back re-charged and ready to take on a little more. I think it also helped us get things off our chest and let us pour our love into each other and refill that desire for one another.

Last night as I cooked up some dinner for everyone, my boyfriend came up from behind me and started dancing to the music he was playing out of my speaker next to the stove. I laughed as he danced his heart out and made himself look silly. After a minute passed, Chris encircled me in his arms and told me “All bullshit aside, at the end of the day, no matter if you get mad at me for dumb things, dumb jealousy, or hate me because I’m annoying, I still love you and I can’t wait to make more memories with you living here together.” Insert swoon here. I mean how can you not go a little weak at the knees or have your heart sip a beat when someone you love tells you they are excited for future memories to be made together? I think Chris has intentions of marrying me, and although it freaks me out to think of marriage at twenty-five years of age, I think I have intentions on marrying Chris too. It is funny because I am so sure of him, yet the idea of marriage scares me to death. Life and its many wonders and permanent emotional scarring it leaves you with. I hope whatever day I make it to the alter I have all my emotions under control, and I do not die of a heart attack of all the attention I will be getting that day. Until then, know that I love my boyfriend so much that I get scary future thoughts. For now, we are finding our happiness in loving each other and growing as individuals. Allow yourself to grow and change because like me, our future self awaits.