An open letter to a fractured friendship

It's an anxiety-induced feeling when something altered happens to what seemed like normal camaraderie. I've had moments where I couldn't have my chance to say something to fix what I didn't know was broken or it was altered by the former comrade. Over the past years, I've lost friends that I thought were going to be in my life for a long time, but it didn't turn out that way. When a friendship is over it feels as if there is no option to talk it through or resolve what happened whether it was a problem or a rift that split it. I've never gotten to have these moments of what I wanted to say to a friend that broke up something that wasn't even broken. I'm sure most people feel that way when something happens and there was never resolve. Even if it can't be mended but the hurt has to be heard. But what matters the most at the end of this chapter...

is Closure.

This conversation isn't addressed to one person, but to the many individuals with that, I have wished I could have had an amicable ending. It’s what I wish I could have said, but if someone can find comfort in this. By all means, use any of this in your way to explain what your woes are.

An Open Letter to the broken friendship

I don't know what happened to us. I only understand to an extent, what happened or what else I don't understand. I know that I can be a bit zealous, but it's only because I was excited to see you. But if you feel I am smothering, if that's the way to define me in your eyes I can't change that. I don't believe this is the term I am, but there's nothing I can do to change what you think of me if that's how it is. I have respected your space and the personal time you've needed, there are certain messages I was able to receive from the silence. I just remember that things were great between us then in a blink of an eye, you were just a stranger on the timeline of my life.

I'm sad to know that it's over and that it had come to this way. I'll never know the answer whether it's good or bad in your reasons for the severance of friendship. But I have to move on, I've tried to understand why and I have pleaded and cried to find it was on deaf ears to my sadness.

I wanted us to get together and talk about it to understand, even if it was over. The least that could be done was an amicable conversation to see both sides. I would have understood why you had to let it go and I would have let you go. To have closure, To be separate strangers. It could have been that way. But I had to bear the guilt over something I didn’t do or something that was not true about me.

It took me almost a year to relinquish that term you described me as because you didn’t have the maturity to say it was over, you had to make up an insult to make me go away.

I kept holding out hope. I left it open to thinking you would have either let me know what happened in the cause of the rift. I even held out hope that you would have let everything go and we could resume everything as normal and I would’ve let everything go and then instant knowing we were back to our usual friendship. But it didn’t happen that way and I have to let you go, I can’t hope for something to change since you already have and I didn’t see it.

By letting you go I no longer hold the resentment I had along with the sadness.

I just hope that in the future you won’t do this to someone else.

- The girl who moved on