American living in Canada

I met my Canadian husband in November 2015, in my hometown New York City. We instantly clicked and connected, since the minute I met him I knew he was going to be someone important in my life. He is a former Air Force pilot and still flies as an aerobatic pilot on his own jets now. As our relationship progressed, I never thought anything of moving to Canada, I thought of it as an extension of USA (after all it is part of North America). My son, who was 8 at the time and I; moved to Canada in the beginning of 2017, but to our surprise (my Canadian husband included), when I went to register my son to school, I was told that to acquire a permit to attend, we needed to apply for the Permanent Residency status from within Canada and if we choose this route, we would get permit to attend immediately but we could not travel until we acquire the Permanent Residency status. I immediately knew I would not be OK with that, being that my entire family lived in USA and I knew only my husband in Canada. We thought of going somewhere in the border of US/Canada to rent a place so that my son could attend school there and we would not be so far from my then boyfriend. We settled for Buffalo and moved on one of the North towns of Buffalo, called Amherst (nice place with excellent schools). We got married in August 2017 and immediately submitted our Permanent Resident application. The process lasted almost 2 years although I have NO CRIMINAL RECORD. It was strange that we filed the paperwork at the same time my cousin (who married a Canadian) and was born in Dominican Republic did. He was approved as a Permanent Resident to Canada in 8 months. My son and I lived in Amherst, NY for almost 2 years. After many background checks (from all states I lived prior (2 states to be exact – Florida & New Jersey) and a detailed background check from the FBI) were cleared, I was able to be to come live with my husband in Canada in February 2019. Although, I was happy living in Buffalo because it was different than NYC but still felt like home; I knew as a wife I had to come to Canada to live at my home that my husband built brand new and had been living alone since July 2017. After my son finished that school year, we moved from Amherst, NY (Buffalo) to Canada. It was July 2019. Our house was built in a rural town named Tillsonburg, it is off London, ON (the 5th biggest city in Ontario, with a population of 383,437 as of 2016) and about 1.5 hours away from Toronto, ON (the 1st biggest city with a population of 2.8M as of 2016). We moved there because my husband wanted to live close to his planes that were at a hanger in this town. This town is not truly diverse but to be frank Canada itself (in my opinion) is not diverse, except for the bigger cities like Toronto, Ottawa, and Quebec City. The larger groups of immigrants I have seen here are Indian and Asians. I was working in my field in Buffalo, NY as an Accountant, so I thought, I can just submit my resume and dive right into my field in Canada. After many failed interviews and before I became frustrated, someone was “nice enough” to tell me I had “NO CANADIAN EXPERIENCE”. I could not help but to think: 1) How can a newcomer (as they call immigrants) have Canadian experience? 2) Aren’t numbers the same in every country? 3) Was this a form of prejudice? It was not until I landed an interview in a company that was close to where I lived. That I understood the problem…. The company was interested in my skills and I even landed a second interview, the manager pointed out that he was interested in me and someone else, so he would give us a second interview and decide then. As I arrived at the second interview, a Canadian lady was coming out of the room that the interview was being held, wearing Birkenstocks (Canadians use these often at least where I lived) but I did not think it was appropriate for a business work environment. But remembered I now lived elsewhere and maybe this was OK here in Canada or specifically where I lived. I thought the interview went well and I was happy and hopeful I would get hired for the job, but the job was offered to the Canadian lady instead. I did not think much of it but did think it was awkward that a lady with Birkenstocks landed a job, but I continued my job search. I landed another interview with an American company, but obviously I was interviewed by Canadians because this is Canada. The manager and I clicked, and all went well, he even hired me. I was to start the following Monday. Before I got too overexcited, I received and email from the manager apologizing to me because he needed to back out of the offer, he told me it was an “upper management” decision. Again, there I was jobless (I have never been jobless in all my adult life in America because I was an Accountant, and this field is one where you always have a job). To make the long story short, I eventually stopped looking for a job in Canada. Recently, my friend’s husband who is Canadian told me that they like hiring Americans that live in America. They even offer them more money and relocation expenses to come work here. But ones an American is here in Canada it is harder to secure a job from within the country. Had I known, I would have applied while living in NYC or Buffalo.

Another reason I did not hesitate to move to Canada was because I read online that their education was superb. Well, my son came to Canada after finishing grade 6 and started in grade 7. He came in the first week of school telling me that everything he was being thought was all covered at his school in USA in grade 6. But It was not until I met my friend who is American too and lives in the same town I live, and heard her story, that more became clear to me. She was a counselor and teacher in the school system in USA. When she got here, she also was confronted with all sorts of hurdles, even though she holds a master’s degree, she went as far as to get more education here in Canada at Western University in London, ON and she still could not work in her field. She started teaching online for a company based in USA that teaches foreign students English. Well, her stepdaughter did not do most of her homework throughout the entire year, and the ones she turned in were excessively late, but she passed during the pandemic with A’s. My friend and her husband (who is the girl’s father) asked to speak to her teacher so that she can explain how she passed with A’s without doing the work. The teacher explained that no child is left back and when told how can the child handle University or College without putting in the effort? The teacher responded by saying that “NOT all students are built for College or University”. I was totally surprised because in USA a child that does not deliver is held back without any hesitation.

During the pandemic, my son (who has excellent grades) started not doing his homework, he said it was because he was not motivated. Then he told me his principal and teacher told him that times are rough and that it would have to be done “one step at a time”. I was confused, because when these children are ready to face the real world, they are not going to be able to tell their bosses that it will have to be done “one step at a time”. Life is not about slacking off but more to keep on track to succeed. Of course, my son’s grades are great here in Canada even though he has slack off academically. It is why now I understand how Canada made it on the list as having one of the best school systems in the world. Canada is #3 behind USA who holds the #1 place and UK who comes in as #2. I am extremely concerned about this because I am not sure I want my son to think life is that easy.

Another experience I have had was that I went to a consultation at a Med Spa and the lady that was speaking to me about the treatments said and I quote: “This service is approved by CFIA (Canadian Food Inspection Agency) not FDA” suggesting that CFIA had more authority than our agency, the FDA (Food and Drug Administration). I was dumbfounded as we do not mention Canada or compare to Canada in any way in America. It is also very unprofessional and disrespectful to us as Americans.

In gatherings many Canadians also kept on implying about health insurance and the benefits we now have living here in Canada…. But I have always had health insurance in USA. Either through Medicaid (government insurance that covers EVERYTHING including medication and specialties) and of course through my employers while working in Corporate America. So, I did not know why they think we all were not insured. Also, the sources that Canadians get their news from must be brain washing them into thinking all these unreasonable ideas collectively.

In conclusion, in the two years I have lived in Canada, in my experience, I perceive a total disrespect for our country and our people. I also think that Canada is for Canadians and not for immigrants and that is why they see us like a threat and want to protect their jobs and country from us. I now understand them and want to move back home, because I have a gap in work that I must make up for, before is to late and my experience is no longer worth anything. I thought I was going crazy in thinking I must leave until I found a thread online with endless people that were and are in my shoes and decided to take off and go back home rather than staying and not feeling part of a community and being valued. I found out that many people come here from other developed countries like Europe and USA and end up leaving. I feel that people from third world countries are more welcomed because they come to do work that Canadians do not want to do anyway. Ironically, the government of Canada sent me a questionnaire in the beginning of this year asking me all the questions I am now pointing out; this must mean that they must be having this problem with expats.

The USA would never do this to Canadians. Specially because Canadians speak the language, why isn’t it the same the other way around?

We treat Canadians that live in our country either permanently or snowbirds, with respect and dignity. Before I met my husband I knew Canadians as tourist that often go visit NYC and treated them like such.

Quote of the day:

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” – Anais Nin