All You Really Need Is Empathy

Helen is having a sarcasmgasm on Facebook. She read an opinion piece in The New York Times and thought it was "full of bullshit" so she posted about it, laying on the sarcasm. Helen often uses the quote: “I’d give up sarcasm but that would leave interpretive dancing as my only way of communicating.” She adds: “And you don’t want to see that.”

Meanwhile, Lydia is having a sarcasm-spasm. Lydia has been on an anti-sarcasm kick for awhile, taking to task any and all sarcasmers. She now accuses Mercy of “dripping” with the stuff and says that she will gladly “Like” satire or irony, but that she absolutely draws the line at sarcasm, specifically “bitter sarcasm”. Presumably, she could take some sweet sarcasm.

So, Helen and Lydia duke it out with lengthy comments. Bystanders enter the fray, some trying to be helpful, some just baiting. Helen lobs some Googled lines, like: “Life’s good. You should get one." And then the two seem to reach a détente. Lydia's last effort reads: "Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver." Which sounds kind of sarcastic. Maybe its the sweet variety.

Anyway, before too long Lydia can't help herself and has to get in another jab - veiled mind you, because that's how she rolls: she often wraps her barbed commentary up in attractive wrapping paper - the kind that has butterfly pics with Latin names on it, so then it seems that she is merely expressing a very erudite fact.

Soon after that, the whole thread goes beyond bitter sarcasm or fake erudition and turns downright vicious. Lydia comes in as therapist at one point, masking her patronizing attack with quasi-caring wrapping paper: "You see, Helen," she writes - and you can just see her upper lip rolling back in a snarl - "you feel attacked by the opinion piece but no one else does. Can you explain why you feel this way?”

Once more things rest. And then they flare up again like a bad case of psoriasis. Each scribe ends up having a major hissy fit and then it seems they are done. One can only hope. And then, God Bless people everywhere, someone named Tibby has to come in and feel for Lydia: “Your courage is amazing…so sorry this has happened to you…” A lot of red hearts show up on that comment and then everything dies down again.

Then a whole other person comes in, name of Bob, and calls Lydia a “manipulative psychopath”. That stands for several hours as the last word. And then Sheila comes in and calls Bob a “shithead”.

At which point the moderator turns off commenting. What a relief. Phew.

Around the same time as the sarcasmgasmspasm occurred, I read an excellent article by investigative journalist Justin Ling (Input. Nov. 21/22). Ling had interviewed the elusive Simone Veil, delving into why she'd unplugged from the internet.

As her webcomic Pictures for Sad Children went viral, Veil's fans wanted a piece of her. Finding herself “swarmed and harassed”, she vanished from the internet and apparently from sight.

Then she popped up again, soon followed by a series of departures and comebacks, all while remaining true to her art.

From Ling's article (below): “But cherishing her right to appear and disappear at will didn’t mean that Veil had disconnected entirely. Quite the opposite: She engaged with the internet on her own terms. ‘i don’t think i would have survived without the visibility of trans people online,’ she wrote. ‘i think i would have given up. offline media still hasn't shown us merely living, and i’m grateful every day for the people who encourage each other and connect and make life more livable for us.’"

Ling concludes: “All Veil really needed was empathy. That’s all anyone needs, really. A touch more empathy would go a long way, especially online. Because for so many, underneath all the vitriol and anger, the internet is still that sanctuary that we were once promised. The one that Veil is still trying to plug into: Where trans people or those struggling with their mental health or even those just looking for a laugh can find a bit of validation.”

Thanks for reading!