Aftersome Part 1

Aftersome

Prologue

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows describes the word or feeling aftersome as, “Astonished to think back on the bizarre sequence of accidents that brought you to where you are today—as if you’d spent years bouncing down a Plinko pegboard, passing through a million harmless decision points, any one of which might’ve changed everything—which makes your long and winding path feel fated from the start, yet so unlikely as to be virtually impossible.”

In life, many times we wish our circumstances were better. We wish we had a nicer car, or a bigger house. Although, when we do this relatively easy task of wishing our lives away, we forget to look at the positives we have already attained. Our society today has set an unreachable standard of how to find happiness. We are told that we need to spend money to have fun, that partying is the only way to have a good time, and even that our relationships will inevitably end in break ups or divorce. We tend to look at every situation as a setback, and rarely take the time to intuitively see our character development. In other words, we look at the pain, yet overlook the purpose.

As we wish our lives away, we are missing out on key interactions, friendships, and opportunities to grow. We wonder what could have been, or what could be, and forget to live in the present. For what is in the past cannot be changed, and what is in the future is not yet here. Our society has toxically groomed this destination mentality, robbing us from the present day. We only get one life on this earth, why waste it worrying about a life you do not have.

Chapter 1

As I woke up to my alarm in my college dorm, life seemed relatively normal. “Another boring day of school” I thought to myself, as I stared at the ceiling procrastinating getting out of bed. Being an undecided freshman at college procrastination was almost second nature by now; as well as laziness, and sleep deprivation. I let out a giant sigh as if the nonexistent people in the room could feel my frustration. I then slowly tore my covers off and rolled out of bed. I looked like a gymnast hopping around dirty clothes, and juking out my desk chair like a football player. I made my way to the shower, and just as I was about to jump in, my phone lit up on the edge of the sink. I froze. “8:25”, the screen read. I began to panic; my first class began at 8:30. My mind raced as I thought of how I could have possibly lost track of time. I darted back into my room, threw on a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt on, then snatched my backpack off my desk and sprinted out of my dorm room. I rushed down the hall whipping the stairwell door open and bounding down flights of stairs. “I can’t be late; I can’t be late” I muttered as I ran out of the building. I looked down at my phone still in my hand, 8:28. “Two minutes!?” I exclaimed in disbelief. I began to run even faster dodging other students and weaving through traffic. Nearing the science building I reached out for the door handle as if my life depended on it. I launched the door open and headed for my classroom. As I approached the door I watched in disbelief as the professor locked the door while maintaining eye contact with me. “No! Wait! I’m here!” I pleaded. “Might I suggest investing in a watch Mr. Snider. Class starts at eight thirty, not eight thirty-two.” Professor Charles said through the door, “Maybe next time.” then shut the blinds.

As I turned away into the empty hallway I was enraged and threw my backpack to the ground. “This is stupid” I yelled, “why am I even here?” I was flooded with anger and self-pity, not only because of my incapability to make it to my freshman year biology class, but towards my repetitiously dull life. Seemingly just as I wallowed alone in the hallway, the lights flickered, and as I gazed at the end of the hallway a dark figure appeared. The figure sauntered towards me as I stepped back in confusion. I picked my backpack up off the floor and stared as the figure got closer. “Can I help you?” I called out, but the figure pressed on. I stepped back again and called out once more, but still got no response. The figure was swiftly gaining ground, but I still could not tell who or what it was in the flickering light. “Stay back!” I yelled with my backpack clenched in my hands like a sledgehammer. As the figure walked by me, I let out a not so manly scream.

“AHHHH!”

Only to be humiliated to see a student with headphones in trudge by me. He looked at me clenching my backpack with my back up against the wall, gave a disgusted look, and mumbled “Weirdo” as he continued down the hallway. I let out a sigh of relief and embarrassment as he turned the corner leaving me alone in the hallway again. I shrugged my backpack over my shoulders and began to walk down the hallway.

While I was walking the lights continued to flicker and buzz, I looked back with an eerie feeling, and did not recognize the hallway in which I had come down. I kept walking, but came to the realization that I was lost. I suddenly came to a fork in the road, I could go left or right. As I looked to the left temptation slithered its way into every fiber of my being, the path was wide, but dark. Just as I stepped towards the left the lights flickered and I looked away. I then peered to the right, this hallway seemed more well-lit, yet was narrow. Although this path was narrower it seemed more familiar for some impetus reason. So, I walked down the hallway on the right. As the buzzing of the lights got louder. I suddenly came across a sign that read, “SPORTS HALL.” This hall was long and straight with signs on both sides of the hall that had each sport and team roster on them. As I walked down the hall, I came across the men’s soccer poster. I examined the poster looking for my name considering I was on the team, and just when I was about to move on to the next poster, I heard a voice behind me say “Isn’t this so cool?” I jumped at the sound, but quickly turned to see a man standing beside me staring at the men's soccer poster. “Who are you?” I asked in shock, “OH! How rude of me” he said, “my name is Luis” he said confidently in his slightly British accent. Luis was an older man, he had brown hair, green eyes and big ears, he wore a grey sweatshirt and cargo pants. “Is this you?” he said pointing to my name on the soccer poster. “Number 2 Parker Snider?” he finished “Uhm yes” I said suspiciously. “You don’t sound very sure of that.” said Luis. As I examined my soccer portrait with what appeared to be a genuine smile, as well as my dirty blonde hair flowing in the wind I grumbled and turned to Luis. “Well do you ever feel like you’re doing something just to do it? That’s how I feel about college sometimes, like I’m here cause everyone else is. I don’t know, sometimes I just wish I had a different life.” I mumbled. “Really?” Luis questioned. “Yes, totally, all the time. There are so many things in my life I wish I could change. I feel like if my life was different and I was in a better situation then I could be happy!” I exclaimed. “Well,” Luis started “let’s go see what that other life would look like shall we?” he boasted. “What?” I asked. “You heard me” he declared “follow me!” I looked around in disbelief and confusion as Luis skipped down the hallway. “You coming?” he yelled, then disappeared. I looked around one more time as if someone were there to share in my skepticism, then chased after him.

Chapter 2

Sprinting down the hallway after a man I had just met seemed highly arbitrary, but just when this thought contended my latest verdict I was thrown onto the hard ground. “Ouch…” I muttered as I pried my body off the concrete. “First time is always rough” Luis said, then laughed and helped me to my feet. As I looked up, I was shocked to see the building where I went to high school, and even more shocked to see my old friends from high school pulling into the parking lot as we stood in a field just across the street. “What? Why are we here? Why are my friends here?” I questioned.

Luis smiled, as he looked on at exterior of the building, as well as my friends, and then began. “On September thirteenth of your senior year of high school in a soccer game you shattered your cheekbone. You were rushed to the hospital, but this event ended your senior soccer season. You had high hopes for your senior season, and even had colleges looking at you.”

“Woah woah woah” I interrupted. “First of all, how do you know all this? And second of all why are you even telling me this?”

“That’s not important, what’s important is that in this world you never broke your face. The date is November eighteenth and you are leaving to play in the state game for soccer later this evening.” Luis concluded.

“Well, this is great!” I exclaimed. “Thank you for dropping me off here!” Luis looked at me disgruntled, as if he expected a different response. “No, you are not here as yourself, you are simply an observer.”

Once again anger filled my body as I glared at Luis. “What? You mean to tell me that the life that I have always wanted is merely an illusion? A figment of my imagination. I can’t intervene or live this life I’ve always wanted?” I shook my head and looked away from Luis.

“Not quite.”

I looked up hopeful from his entry. “Huh?” I said as Luis smirked.

“You are not a ghost or a figment of this worlds imagination. On the contrary you are in this world as an observer of events, not as Parker, but in disguise. No one will recognize you yet you will seemingly fit in as another student.”

I paused, puzzled by the concept. “So, I am here in disguise to observe my life if I had never shattered my cheekbone?” I asked doubtfully. “Precisely!” said Luis. “Now, you don’t want to be late on your first day back to high school now do you!” Luis remarked. Just then the school bell rang, and as I turned to look back at Luis he was gone.

Chapter 3

“Luis…. Luis!” I yelled as I spun in circles looking for him. “What am I supposed to do now” I sighed to myself. Then a girl grabbed my arm and yelled “Run! We’re going to be late!” I flew forward without question of the uncanny circumstances. We rushed to the crosswalk and as I slowed down the girl tugged on my jacket pulling me into the path of a speeding white Ford Ranger. I gasped as the truck screeched to a halt three feet from my petrified body. We continued to sprint towards the building ignoring enraged drivers squawks and shrieks. “We’re almost there!” the girl shouted as we ran across the parking lot still avoiding traffic while being honked at by other high schoolers and exasperated parents. As we approached the high school door I reached out and whipped the door open for the girl, she gave me a rushed smile and headed inside. I ran in after her exclaiming “Hey, what’s your name?” she turned to meet my eyes and smiled. Her blue eyes twinkled and her golden hair shined as bright as the sun, her smile was contagious as I began to feel a grin form on my face. “Abigail. What’s your name?” she said.

“I’m Parker.” I said confidently. But, almost instantaneously I remembered that Luis had told me that I was in disguise. Panicked I said “I mean Peter. I’m Peter. My name is Peter.” I flashed a nervous smile and watched in awe as she laughed and stared back at me. “Well, I’ll see you around Peter Parker.” She said as she winked at me, and swiftly took off down a hallway. I watched as Abigail disappeared from my view, then stood reminiscing of the last three minutes that had taken place. As I stood smiling into the distance, I heard a deep voice bellow “You lost

buddy?”

As I looked up, my body became tense when I saw the principal of my school Mr. Rudder, looking back at me. Mr. Rudder was a burly man with broad shoulders and a dark somewhat well-groomed beard. “Now I do not believe we have met.” He said in his country accent. “I am Mr. Rudder, I’m the principal around here. And what might your name be?” he asked. “Oh… I’m…” I paused not knowing what name to say or even if I was supposed to be here. “I’m…” I continued. “Did you forget your name?” Mr. Rudder chuckled. Just then Luis walked through the front door and looked at Mr. Rudder. “Hi, I’m Peter’s father. I spoke with you on the phone.” Luis persuaded. “Ahh yes, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Mr. Rudder said as he shook Luis’s hand. He then turned his attention to me and said “You must be Peter then; I will go get you your schedule. Mr. Rudder walked into his office as the final morning bell rang leaving just Luis and I in the hallway.

Luis looked at me and shook his head, “Remember you’re here to look at what your life would be like if you didn’t break your face. Not to look at pretty girls.” He whispered firmly. “I don’t even know what’s going on. How did you speak to Mr. Rudder on the phone, and how do you know what I’ve been doing?” I responded. Luis stopped and stared at me, he maintained eye contact and his face looked as if he thought I was incompetent, he then returned to his normal tone of voice. “I am literally glowing. How has it taken you this long to realize that I am your guardian angel?” he questioned. “Oh yeah… You are glowing…” I muttered feeling incompetent.

Just then Mr. Rudder walked out of his office, “Okay here are your classes, and here’s a hall pass.” He said “Thank you so much.” I said as I looked at my schedule and headed down the hallway. “Go and be good!” Luis yelled at me. And as I rounded the corner, I heard him say “They grow up so fast” to Mr. Rudder followed by Mr. Rudders empathetic chuckle.

I walked down the hall reading my first class off the schedule, ‘Ceramics Room 7’. I walked down the hall as I read the classroom numbers off the wall until I reached room seven. I entered the room, and as the class turned to look at me, I locked eyes with myself.

Chapter 4

As my eyes locked with myself from this world, we shared an indescribably beautiful moment of inner connection… Or, at least that was what I had hoped for.

He looked up at me gave me a disgusted look and returned his attention to his phone. “How can I help you?” I heard a voice say as the video being projected on the white board about wheel throwing paused. “Hi, I’m Peter, I’m new here.” I said as I handed her my hall pass nervously. “Oh! Of course! How rude of me, I’m Mrs. Moran. I’ll be your first hour ceramics teacher!” She said excitedly with the biggest smile I had ever received from a teacher. “Just find a seat wherever!”

As I scanned around the classroom frantically looking for an empty desk, I heard a familiar voice.

“PETER!”

I looked over to see Abigail waving her arms and grinning from ear to ear as she feverishly directed me to an unattended desk next to her. I smiled and quickly walked across the room, slid into the silver and brown chair, then turned to Abigail. “Thanks.” I said as Mrs. Moran turned off the lights. “Quiet please.” She announced as she started the video again.

As class went on, I couldn’t help but occasionally glance over at myself. I stared while he scrolled through texts from various girls, regurgitating the same apathetic line of ‘You’re so pretty’ over and over.

I looked away and turned my attention to the floor. I was immersed in thought, as I remembered my old selfish behavior and schemes, I used to take part in before my accident. My mind raced as I began to recall the sickening behavior I once acknowledged as a way of life. My face turned grim, but was awoken as I heard Abigail call out to me. “You okay there Spiderman?” she said with a curious look on her face. I looked up and saw that the class had left and had commotion filled the hallway.

“Yeah… What’s up? Where is everyone?”

“The bell rang dork, that’s how you know to go to your next class.” She said with a friendly smile. “What’s your next class?” She asked. I reached into the pocket of my jeans, and pulled out my class schedule. As I unfolded the white piece of paper, we made our way to the hallway. We stepped out of the classroom, and Abigail peered over my shoulder blurting out, “We have second hour together too!” I smiled, blatantly disregarding the point of being in this world. Yet, as Abigail pulled me towards our next classroom, we approached the locker that had belonged to me when I went to high school.

As I looked towards the locker, there the Parker of this world was, standing next to all his friends commenting on how amazing they all were at soccer. They stood cocky, mocking the other team they were going to play later that day, as well as glaring at all who dared to pass by.

As Abigail and I got closer to the group it seemed as if the whole group turned to look at me. I felt almost disturbed as my once best friends stared at me with immense disgust and anger. I maintained eye contact with myself as I passed by, but quickly realized that was not a good idea as I flew onto the tiled hallway floor after being tripped. The group began to laugh as I looked up, discomforted by the occult circumstances. As I stood up, I regained my composure, and once again looked back at this odious version of myself. As students rushed by me, I came to the realization that this was not the life I wanted. The eyes of myself in this world revealed a hostile, lost, overly confident boy fearful for his future.

Yet as I remained calm, I found unsettling peace inside myself as I grasped the significance of my accident. Not only did I lose my soccer season, but I lost my old self with it. As I turned and walked away with Abigail I was overwhelmed with thought.

“Are you okay?” Abigail asked as she broke my inner silence.

“Peachy.” I responded, letting out a half smile.

I wasn’t peachy.

I was overtaken with agonizing guilt.

I concluded that in this world Parker had never experienced humility like I did. The event of me breaking my face was not just a horrible accident, but an indescribably crucial part of my life.

As Abigail and I entered our next class, I sat down and bowed my head. I realized that there was a reason for my temporary suffering. I looked back up, but as I my eyes met up with Luis, I realized the room was empty, and the fake world had disappeared.