After retirement, no friends

When I was young, it was often said that multiple friends led to multiple paths.

But when I retire, I find that I have fewer and fewer friends around me, and within a few years, there are almost no friends.

In this regard, some people feel a lot of emotion, and some people don't think so.

After retirement, fading out of Vanity Fair and social circles is actually the normal state of life. Learn to accept, and make adaptive adjustments and changes, and the day will enter a new realm.

01

If you lose the competition of interests, you also lose your friends.

A few days ago, I saw a post about the endless troubles of a post-00 working in the system of small 18th-tier counties:

At work, we have to do both big and small things, but in general, except for the "leaders" who like to point fingers and boss, they don't have much technical content.

In his spare time, he had to attend some wine and dinner parties, serving as a "waiter" who served tea and poured water and made a lively atmosphere. One major category of topics was the scandals of "head and face" people who were known to almost everyone in the county, and one major category was colleagues. Short between parents.

In the eyes of this newly recruited "newcomer", such work and life, apart from the repeated challenges to people's tolerance limits, really have no sense of freshness and creativity.

But although he hated it in every possible way, he had to cherish it a hundredfold.

He tried his best to get in this job. Before finding a better way out, I can only force myself to put on a "mask" and try to fit in.

For this reason, he strives to become a "red man" around his leaders, a "good person" in the eyes of his colleagues, even if he often helps others, the credit and hard work must be given to the "seniors", only those who are "unattainable" A person can relax his guard a little bit, and treat him not only as a "chess piece" at work, but also as a "friend" with personal friendship.

Perhaps, this is not a problem that a post-00 newcomer in the workplace will encounter. Almost every generation will encounter such problems when they just walk out of society and enter the workplace.

In order to gain a firm foothold, for promotion and salary increase, who is not trying their best to make all kinds of "friends"? exchange, entanglement, and get closer.

When they retire, these interest connections lose their basis of existence due to the resignation of their positions, and the so-called "friendship" naturally becomes a rootless duckweed, and gradually fades away.

To give the most simple example, someone who was an office director before retirement was in charge of purchasing office supplies. Once he needed to buy something, the discount would be very low.

But after retirement, this kind of treatment will naturally disappear. The validity period of a friend is limited to the term of office.

02

Cut off contact with the original unit, stay away from old colleagues, and also lose a lot of human relationships.

Many workers in the workplace regard their colleagues as friends. Although they are not the kind of friends who care about their hearts and hearts, a good relationship with their colleagues is as important as doing a good job.

Especially for people who have been working in the same unit for a long time, everyone bows their heads and does not look up, no matter how much complaints and dissatisfaction there are, they cannot show it.

It is really a bad thing to maintain interpersonal relationships where "face and heart are not in harmony".

Many people, relying on themselves as a "little leader", do a good job of leadership, and just push all the big and small things to their subordinates. In addition, we must find ways to discredit and suppress subordinates.

This distinct "official and university level crushes people to death", crushing the "friendship" between colleagues that was originally negligible. But many people will choose to forbear, especially in public places, and never tear their faces. It is not to give face to the other party, but to protect himself.

Even in the case of weddings and weddings, when everyone has money with the molecules, they will also take a share as if nothing happened. Spending this "wasted money" is actually buying yourself a "good reputation".

All in all, in order to make oneself look "gregarious", as long as one is in the workplace for a day, one has to work hard and deal with the leaders and colleagues to the end, so that they can neither easily use themselves nor find a good partner. Get out of the game yourself.

Therefore, when retirement comes, it will undoubtedly be a complete liberation and freedom for many people who have been engaged in front-line work for a long time. From the day I went through the retirement procedures, I no longer had to look at anyone's face.

They chose to cut off contact with the original unit and took the initiative to stay away from their old colleagues, especially those who used to make things difficult for them. Even if they met face-to-face, they would not necessarily greet each other. Even if they went to a party together, they would treat each other as strangers.

This freedom and indifference is the best love for oneself.

03

Every family has a hard-to-read scripture, and returning to the family is the final destination.

Many people make a wish when they are young: when they retire, they will invite three or five friends, get together often, and organize group trips.

But such aspirations cannot be realized one by one.

For many retirees, in the first two years of retirement, there may be some time to be free, but as their children get married and have children, they will soon be involved in the army of "bringing grandchildren", and their life will not be at all. It's no easier than going to work.

As for parties and travel, it's even harder to pull together. In addition, some people are in poor physical condition, and some people are in poor economic conditions. If they want to satisfy everyone, the initiators of each event will feel a lot of effort.

In the end, there are often only one or two old friends and acquaintances who can get together.

As for relatives whose blood is thicker than water, people of the same age as themselves, with better conditions than themselves, are reluctant to go high, and those with worse conditions than themselves are unwilling to work low. The exchanges between relatives are limited to the New Years and festivals, and it is impossible to erase the ritual exchanges.

After all, after retirement, everyone's ultimate destination is to be with their family. No matter whether you live with your children or not, your friends are destined to become fewer and fewer, and perhaps only your younger generation can become new friends.

04

Closing remarks:

After retirement, life faces new adjustments, and it is normal for friends to drift apart.

As a result, learn to get along with yourself, and life is like a deep stream of still water, with a unique flavor.