Addicted to #4039

I have to admit, I've always been a bit of a weirdo. I have this tendency to stand too close to people and make them feel uncomfortable, and my smile is a little peculiar, which I've been told can come across as creepy. And I'll be the first to admit, I talk too much, especially about topics that make others uncomfortable, like sex. But I swear, it's not on purpose.

It's not just my social skills that are a bit off, my sense of humor is also a little...different. I have a habit of laughing at inappropriate times, and I know it can be confusing for those around me. But in my defense, I grew up watching 80's cartoons and I can't help but think of the comedic timing of shows like "The Simpsons" and "Ren and Stimpy" when I'm in social situations.

But my biggest problem, and the one I'm most ashamed of, is my display of unwanted sexual interest. I know it's not okay to make suggestive comments or gestures towards someone without their consent, but it's just hard for me to control. It's like my inner teenager from the 80's is always lurking, thinking it's still cool to hit on someone in a "Teen Wolf" kind of way.

I used to have another addiction, tanning at planet fitness, I spent hours in the tanning bed and my skin was burnt, I had to wear long sleeves and pants all the time to hide the scars and disfigurements, it was like I was living in "Miami Vice" but instead of fighting crime, I was fighting the urge to tan.

But I've realized that my behavior is not okay and it's time for a change. I've sought therapy to understand and overcome my behavior, and I've been working hard to learn to respect personal boundaries and read social cues. I know it's not going to be easy, but I'm determined to become a better, more respectful person.

It's not just about changing for the sake of others, it's also about improving my own life. I want to be able to be in social situations without feeling like I'm stuck in an episode of "Facts of Life" where I'm the outsider trying to fit in.

I know it's going to take time and effort, but I'm willing to put in the work. I don't want to be known as the creepy guy who stands too close and talks too much about sex. I want to be known as the guy who's made a positive change in his life and is working to be a better person.

So if you see me at a party or out in public and I'm standing a little too close or laughing at the wrong time, just know that I'm working on it. And if you ever need to leave a conversation with me, just give me a subtle nod and I'll take the hint. I may not be perfect, but I'm trying.

I hope that by sharing my story, it will help others who may be struggling with similar issues. We all have our quirks and flaws, but it's important to recognize when they are causing harm and to work towards making positive changes in our lives.