Acts Of Faith

I knew early on in life I'd be called to help others in some major way. One of the first conversations I can remember having with my father was about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was about six years old at the time, and Dad was a radio broadcaster. One day, we did a play interview, which he recorded. In it, he posed the question; "Honey, what do you think you want to be when you grow up?". I emphatically replied, "I want to be a nurse, Daddy!".

Although I never literally became a nurse, I was intensely driven to learn all I could about people and human nature; mind and spirit. I loved music and art, so when I was a bit older, I learned as much as I could about them, as well. I was fortunate enough to be able to combine both in my counseling career, and then later, in my field practice. I have to say, the past ten years of my life have been some of the most exciting and rewarding as a result.

A year ago, I moved from my tiny Koreatown apartment into a big three-story circa 1920's house, just on the outskirts of downtown L.A. If you look out the window of my art studio, you can see a beautiful view of the L.A. skyline. It inspires me daily! Upon moving in, I met Thain first. We took to each other immediately. With so much in common, there wasn't much we didn't talk about. Music, acting, theatre. Restaurants we loved. The best conversations we'd have, though, were about spirituality, religion and psychology.

Thain wasn't afraid to talk about the things that many people avoid, and it was, to say the least, refreshing. Often times, people shut down about certain topics due to political asylum, fear of confrontation and sometimes even rejecti0n. Other times, it's ego-based, springing from having deep insecurities or a lack of accurate information. Thain and I never had that problem. We talked for hours. We excavated our sacred pasts. Soon enough, we started composing and recording music together.

To me, it seemed a natural progression. Both of us were in a safe space with one another, leaving the creativity flowing quite easily. Thain had more of a punk / alternative leaning in his style of writing and singing, so paired with my background in hip-hop and R & B, it made for a very stimulating collaboration. I guess you could say we balanced each other out. For five very intense months, we helped each other examine our beliefs and how we viewed the world. Then one day, just as quickly as it had started, it felt complete. It felt as though our time together was finished.

I felt fulfilled, yet, I felt I had outgrown the first floor space I lived in at the time. I decided change was needed, so I asked the landlord about a space coming available in the late summer. After I moved to the third floor of the same house, I felt a significant shift in my spirit. I knew there were others I'd get to know in this place, and a few of them had already begun to trickle into my life to kick off this brand new season.

Nadia, who lives on two, is a singer. She also has a knack for listening, and a love of philosophy. Anthony, a tattoo artist and music producer, lived just beneath the 1st floor in a large, renovated apartment space. We'd hang out until 3 or 4 in the morning, drinking Modelos, talking politics and freestyling to hip-hop until we all passed out. They were equally spiritually knowledgeable, yet more street saavy than I was used to. I was able to help them by sharing experiences I'd had and guiding the creative flow in order to pass on knowledge of my own.

This was art therapy on a whole other level. To experience it like this... To be able to teach what I know, to share my experiences so freely, was truly exhilarating. In this intense social climate, at a time when the world was in the midst of such uncertainty and dramatic changes, we had formed a collective of sorts. A group of people living together who could help each other stay creative and emotionally balanced.

Things changed yet again when Anthony decided to move to Northern California, and I began to become busier working on some solo creative projects.

I got the sense that it was time for another shift. As the months rolled by into the new year, I felt stronger and more independent than I ever have in my life. It's as if my soul opened up and became larger. I've really celebrated feeling seen and appreciated, knowing my contribution was valued, and evidence manifested in an expansion of resources and opportunities. It expanded my faith. I had the deepest awareness of just how much I had given in terms of care, attention, knowledge and resources. I also felt that these people reciprocated in some beautiful and unexpected ways.