A Year In Review

Every year for the past few years, I spend the month of December reflecting on the year and making plans and intentions for the approaching new year.

This December was no different, though the reflections themselves have been quite varied.

There was nothing so drastic as anemia or surgery, no major work upheavals, no writing disappointments.

In fact, this has been one of the most productive writing years for me yet; I have a solid draft, I had the funds to hire an editor who has already gotten started, and I've got plans to publish next year.

My social media has been growing, and I've expanded to Instagram and Facebook to grow my audience (and also in case the TikTok ban becomes reality). I even have a friend, another new author, asking me for advice on content creation...which blows my mind, honestly.

I celebrated my second anniversary with my boyfriend and moved in with him and his son in October. This was something we'd talked about, but it blew my mind how easily it came together. Now we cook together, go to the gym as a family, even play videogames together. I'm not only indulged, but encouraged in my nerdy hobbies such as reading and theatre (as evidenced by my load of Wicked merchandise that I received for Christmas) and I couldn't be happier.

I've made a new friend at work, one that I find myself getting closer and closer to as we share stories of our lives between stories of our students. Two other work friends got married this year.

Though I haven't quite matched my reading goal, it was another great year for me as a reader; audiobooks became my best friend, especially on my (now longer) drives to and from work. I've re-read some stories, discovered new ones, and yelled at cliffhanger endings when I didn't have the next book to read immediately. I love that I've had more time to read, since that helps me as a writer.

I got to meet my favorite YA author, Tomi Adeyemi, in the summer. She was so sweet and complimented my outfit, and the whole book talk event made me even more excited to be having my own one day soon.

Both sets of my parents moved; mom and stepdad to a new home after theirs was ruined by a fire; dad and stepmom to Oklahoma, where I'd spent many of my years growing up. It felt odd, this holiday season, not to be driving the hour and a half to see my dad and stepmom (or them coming to see me). But they've been having fun organizing and building things on their land, so I'm happy for them in their retirement.

There were two events, however, that I wouldn't have predicted to happen this year.

The first was my longtime best friend abruptly cutting me out of her life. We'd known each other since high school, and I expected her to be there when I published my first book and beyond. We'd grown more distant as we both got older and busier, but I didn't think that we were at the point of breaking. So when she told me that she was going to take a break from the relationship, I was floored.

I'd never had a friendship break up before. I didn't know what do to, and in the moment only managed a feeble response that clearly wasn't what she'd hoped to hear. I went to other friends and my parents, asking for advice. She'd pointed out flaws of mine that bothered her, and some of them were valid. I didn't want to make light of them, but I was also bothered that she didn't give me a chance to address them.

The best piece of advice that I got, which I actually got from several people, was that some people are only meant to be in your life for a season. That's not to say that I didn't cry over the loss of the friendship, or that I don't look back on great memories from that friendship. But I've tried to take note of the things that she said that were true and make an honest effort to work on them.

The second unexpected event was blocking another longtime friend (ex, actually). This was another person that I'd expected to be in my life forever, but I realized that the toxicity that I would get from the fewer and fewer interactions that we were having was taking a toll on my mental and emotional health. So I blocked him.

As much as I want to say that I was surprised at the overwhelmingly positive reaction at the news from my family and friends, I wasn't. Many had voiced their dislike for him in the past, but I have a penchant for being incredibly stubborn and not listening. But what's done is done.

There were positive things in these two relationships that I don't want to forget. Good times. But again, some people are seasonal, and we waste our own time by clinging to them far past the time that we should.

I can't say that there isn't still some sadness over the loss of these two people who'd been so instrumental in my life for the better part of ten years. But I know, deep down, that letting them go was for the best.

So I look forward to 2025. I'm working on learning new skills, preparing to publish my book, and continuing to get close with the people around me. I'm ready for this next year's adventure.