A Thank You Letter To Heaven

Dear Nana and Poppy,

There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t miss you both. The impact you had on my life was, and still is, profound and greater than I can put into words.

While it’s hard to not have you around anymore, and the void you left will never be whole again, I’m beyond grateful for all the good you brought into my life. All your wisdom, joy, humor, and love have changed my life for the better. It’s kept me going and given me some solid ground in this crazy world. And for that, I can’t thank you enough.

You both embodied honesty, integrity, kindness, joy, and just about every good quality you could hope to find in a person (and stubbornness too, but in the best way!). You were never afraid to be your most authentic selves, or to speak your minds. And you always made it easy for other people to be themselves without judgment.

You set a great example for me, and I do my best to live up to it (with my own spin on it, of course).

You also always had plenty of wise words and an optimistic outlook on life. I honestly can’t help but wonder sometimes how you did it.

Lately, I look at the current state of the world and I can’t help but feel lost and scared, and even a little hopeless at times. Although I feel like you guys would be able to understand, since a lot of what’s happening now is pretty much repeats of things you lived through when you were young. And I often wonder what your opinions would be about it all.

But knowing you guys, especially you Nana, you’d probably say what you’d always say: Be happy!

That was always your main piece of advice in life. And sometimes it’s a struggle to follow it, but I try my best. I do plan on getting a tattoo of that phrase in your handwriting soon! I’m excited for that; I look forward to being able to carry that little piece of you with me physically.

I really do miss having you around in the flesh. Life’s not the same, you know? And I miss being able to talk to you directly.

But I always remind myself that, although you’re physically gone, you’re still around in spirit. And knowing that has helped me move forward a little more easily after your passings; it made me realize that the two of you never left.

I feel your presence all the time; I find a lot of comfort in that. And looking back on stories about you helps too, because there are a ton of hilarious ones.

Only you, Poppy, could fall off a roof and land on your feet. And only you, Nana, could’ve beat breast cancer in your 80s. I’ll never forget how the doctor broke the news to you, and you just looked at him and said, "You’re not God!"

I think you’ll be happy to know that I now use that as a go-to response for when people try to get smartass-y with me, and especially when a man starts trying to mansplain something to me. It’s oh so fitting!

But yeah, I really mean it when I say I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me.

Poppy, thank you for being a part of my life, even though it wasn’t for long. I wish we could’ve had more time together earth-side and made more memories. But even in just four years, you made me feel so loved.

Nana, thank you for always being a second mom to me, and for loving and supporting me through my childhood and young adulthood. It really made my life that much better.

I love you guys so much. I’ll always miss having you here physically, but I know you’ll always be around, watching over all of us. And I'll continue to carry with me the light you left behind.

With all my love,

Jaye