A Softer Generation

I was born in '81. While I may not remember a lot from my own childhood, I do remember some things growing up. Growing up in the eighties was like any past generation, I suppose. To be honest children didn't have mental illnesses back then. I didn't have ADD, I was simply unfocused and I didn't try hard enough. I was too focused on dumber things, when I should have been dealing with classwork. Depression wasn't a thing back then either. That was just laziness, and I slept a lot. The weekends would find me sleeping the day away, literally. Fourteen hours is so far the longest I've ever slept.

You most certainly didn't call out parents for disrespecting you or giving you no privacy. Having the bathroom door thrown open while I was undressed in some manner was a normal thing. I certainly wasn't allowed to get upset about it. Pretty sure I wasn't allowed to get angry about anything. As a child, I wasn't even a person. I was more an obligation that had to be dealt with and sort of fed. If anything, I was closer to being an ottoman or a unruly dog. While I had the freedom to roam the woods behind the house I was allowed to live in by the kindness of my parent, getting hurt also meant I usually got in trouble for not paying attention. Or I'd get laughed at for being clumsy. Never mind the fact that I would become clumsy for an entirely different reason.

Things were beginning to change then too. People were tired of hiding who they were and felt that it wasn't right that they had to hide. I wanna say it was around the late 90's that mental illness started being noticed. Racism and sexism was an okay thing back then. Encouraged even, in many cases. Be it through threats or actual violence. If you didn't fit in to the 'american aesthetic' you weren't normal. If you weren't normal, it was expected for some racist person to cause you harm. This still happens to this day, which is weird and outdated. It’s not as bad as it was though. For one, here in the US, an interracial couple is not something that’s illegal like it was not that long ago.

It was not uncommon for an older man to offer to buy me or my sister from my mother. Back then, such comments were seen as funny. A harmless older man making harmless jokes about purchasing a young child. Back then, having that weird not-relative being overly affectionate with a child too young to refuse was pretty common too. Thank god now a days people are finally admitting that such actions are crazy creepy and people are being called out for being inappropriate.

As a child, I understood that one day I would have to get married to a man and one day provide my mother with grandchildren. That was the future she designed for me. I wasn't allowed to know how to defend myself and most of my hobbies weren't girly enough. I remember wanting to take self defense classes when I was in my teens. My mother wouldn't even hear of such a thing. My future husband would provide and keep me safe. When I defended my actual right to defend myself, her reply was that I would just let whatever happened happen. Which did end up happening. The joys of being born in the 80's.

But now? Oh wow. Now it's mostly okay to be who you are. You don't have to hide who you are as much. I remember when dyed hair and tattoos were taboo and guaranteed that you wouldn't get a ‘real’ job. It also became a way for people to fight back against the ideal behind normalcy. It was so vital to be like everyone else, to not stick out and be noticed. Part of my early childhood revolved around bikers; dyed hair, tattoos and piercings are a normal for me. Even if I wasn’t allowed to indulge until well into adulthood. As such, my hair is currently periwinkle with a massive undercut and I hope to add to my current collection of skin ink.

There are people that complain that the new generation is too soft, that they're too sensitive. Personally, I think they're just tired of the racism. Being judged on your skin tone never made any sense to me, no matter my mother and stepfather's efforts. I think they're tired of others being judged for loving someone who is the same gender or sex. This being another thing that really makes no sense to me. The concept of gay has been around a lot longer then some religions that would condemn same sex/gender love.

The same generation that complains about how soft and weak this new generation is also hails from the generation that would rather kill their family by accident due to a flashback that they weren’t allowed to address and safely deal with. This is the same generation that felt it was okay and better to commit suicide then admit that there was a chemical imbalance in the brain and seek help for it. It’s also the same generation that had no issues burning someone alive simply because their skin color or beliefs were different.

So is this generation armed with more compassion then the ones before them? Is this the same generation that is done with racism and wants a better world to live in? Are they better armed, technology wise and closer to people half way across the world? You betcha. And I am happier that this generation cares more. I’m glad that they’re fighting against judging someone based on their skin tone or sexual orientation. I’m glad that mental illnesses aren’t stigmatized as much. Personally, I can’t wait to see how they change the world with their softness. Being kind is not a weakness and the more people that realize this, the better we can make this world.