
“Just forget you!” she shouted as she stomped out the front door, slamming it behind her and bolting down the steps to the street. As she took her normal long strides, a bit more forcefully than usual, she realized that it was not only dark but also starting to rain.
‘That figures,’ she thought. For a moment Jocelyn considered turning back, if only to sneak something to wear over her hoodie, but she did NOT want to be back in the apartment with her brother just now. She also knew she didn’t want to spend all night in the rain. She had already walked the two blocks west that led to the corner market, so she ducked in.
“Well hi Joss, it’s a frightful night for you to be out.”
“Hi Mrs. Lee.”
“Another bout with Jake tonight?”
“Yes, we just cant seem to talk to each other without one of us starting a fight. At least not since mom died.”
Mrs. Lee paused a moment. “You know, your brother does care about you very much. He’s just feeling really responsible for the two of you, and he’s trying to keep it together.”
Jocelyn paused. “I hear you Mrs. Lee, I just don’t wanna go back right now”
Mrs. Lee nodded her heads towards the back, to storage room. “You can dry off back there and rest a bit on the couch. There’s also a couple of boxes of random things I set aside that you and your brother can have first pass at. See if anything is useful to you before I take it to thrift.” She poured Joss a coffee.
“Thanks Mrs. Lee. You’re so kind to us. I’ll just stay for a bit.”
Mrs. Lee nodded again, with her kind and somewhat knowing look.
Jocelyn went to the couch and tucked her legs under herself as she settled down, sipping the coffee. The warmth of it seemed to slowly soother her from the inside. She let her head flop back for a few, closing her eyes while still cradling the coffee in her almost-dry hands.
She closed her eyes, listening to the rain, the sound of the city bus stopping at, and then leaving from the bus stop across the street. She took a few deep breaths, then opened her eyes, remembering the boxes. ‘Let’s just see what Mrs. Lee found for us this time,’ she thought. Ever since her mom had passed from cancer in the spring, Mrs. Lee had been finding a way to drop off or set aside some things for her and Jacob now and then. Wasn’t Halloween just last week? How can it be more than 6 months since mom died? How could she have died on Easter anyway? It had always been a happy holiday, Easter Sunday, coloring eggs, biting into the chocolate bunnies, biting off the ears first…
‘Snap out of it.’ Those happy holidays are all in the past. Now all it seems we have are days of ‘just getting by’ with Jake. Her mind wandered a bit.
‘The boxes!’ She sat up, set down the now-cold coffee, and leaned over to pull the bigger of the two boxes towards her. On top of the random stash in the box was a dark blue windbreaker folded up. She held it up, sturdy, just a small tear in the sleeve she could stitch, looks like a boys, but holding it up it seemed just a size or so bigger than would really fit her. She knew it would become her main jacket for the rest of fall, and likely a bit too far into winter too. Lord knows the last coat mom had got her over a year ago wasn’t still going to fit her this year. She reached back down, there were a few other useful blessings, a scarf, pair of gloves not exactly matching, but not clashing either, and a pair of lace-up waterproof boots – yep, about a size bigger than she needed – but then it seemed Mrs. Lee had a way of finding them the size-ups that they needed.
A couple of mugs with slightly chipped handles, and a few slightly dented canned goods. She smiled a bit, wondering again if Mrs. Lee really finds that many slightly dented cans in her store each week, or if she secretly knocks them off the shelves herself to have an excuse to set them aside for her.
Joss sighed. One of those big sad-laden sighs you make when you know the answer to something but just have a hard time letting that answer really hit your brain full-on. She sighed again, holding back a tear and trying not to mentally start replaying tonight’s argument with Jake.
She took another sip of coffee. Quite cold now, but the box still held her curiosity. She looked at something slightly gleaming and found the golden edges of pages on a little black book. That seems pretty fancy for something at the back of this store. She picked up the not-too-thick black journal, running her thumb along the gilded edges, then turned to read the words “BE CAREFUL YOUR THOUGHTS” imprinted in gold up the spine.
‘Funny, while trying not to think of tonight’s fight, this is what I find?” She flipped through the empty pages of the journal. But wait, they’re not empty. She seems to see faintly written words – well no – the ink fades when she looks at the pages directly. Were there really any words there a second ago? She closes it.
“BE CAREFUL YOUR THOUGHTS”
She flips through it again. Although it appears empty, it _feels_ like it’s been written on, with faded, not with fading words. She shakes her head and drops the book.
“I must be losing it!” Joss says out loud. She thinks about her brother. The shouting. She feels hungry. She knocks back the last of the cold coffee and picks up the journal again, this time more slowly opening the front page.
“CHOOSE JUST ONE” is inscribed, and there’s a thin shiny pen tied inside the front cover. She picks up the pen and opens to the next page. Now Jocelyn can see there is a single word written in a shimmery text at the top of each page. Just one shimmery word. At the top of each blank page.
LOVE
She snorts, turning the page.
MONEY
Tempting. Turn…
POWER
Also tempting. Turn…
FAME
Tempting and glamorous. Turn…
HAPPINESS
Really cheesy. Turn…
REVENGE
Wait, what?
DEATH
She drops the book. It skims the floor, hits the box, and then she sees something glowing in the box.
She looks in and sees a small shimmering object, shaped almost like a trinkety treasure chest. Cautiously she picks it up and looks it all over. It has a lock but no key. The engraved top has written:
‘“OPENS WITH YOUR SINGLE THOUGHT”
“BE CAREFUL YOUR THOUGHTS”
“OPENS WITH YOUR THOUGHTS”
‘What the heck is this?!?’
No, it says “OPENS WITH YOUR SINGLE THOUGHT”
She picked up the book again and took out the shimmering pen to examine it. The pen’s shimmery text reads:
‘“WRITE YOUR SINGLE THOUGHT FOR THE FUTURE”
‘These work together?”
Write your single thought for the future.
Opens with your single thought.
Be careful your thoughts.
‘So – I take the pen, write down what I see for my future? Just a single thought?’
Just one page then…..
LOVE
MONEY
POWER
FAME
HAPPINESS
REVENGE
DEATH
She definitely didn’t want thoughts of Death. She thought that, dreaded that, for 2 years, watching mom get sicker and sicker…
Revenge? On who? Jacob? For what? For always yelling? Always pushing me – do my chores, do my homework, do my best, do more… I’m sure pissed at him a lot, but I don’t want thoughts of Revenge.
Happiness? A single thought of happiness? My only thought of happiness was mom and me and Jake. All together. Laughing. Hugging. Coloring Easter eggs.
Fame? Well if I was famous, wouldn’t Happiness and Power and Money all follow? Well maybe not. There seems to be a lot of miserable famous people. Pass.
Power? Huh. Not even sure what to do with that one.
Money? Money. Money! We never have enough. The bills are all that Jacob seems to think about these days. We are barely paying utilities and rent. Money? But how much? How much would be enough? What would we really need? Enough for life? For college? Ha - what a dream. For rent? I have no idea, and then what anyway?
“CHOOSE JUST ONE” inscribed in the inside cover.
“OPENS WITH YOUR SINGLE THOUGHT” shimmering on top the box.
She picks up the pen into writing position and pulls the little black journal onto her lap, turning back towards the first pages. “ Show me the money, ” she says aloud. Then the book flops back to the very front page, shimmering with ’LOVE.’
Jake pops into her mind. Not angry like tonight. Laughing. Playing cards, riding their bikes, pushing her on the swing at the park, ‘til she went higher and higher and higher, just laughing. Just being family. Just loving. Her single thought is Jake.
Jocelyn is shaking, the pen barely steady. She cries a tear that falls onto the page as she writes “JACOB”, which shimmers as she spells out her big brother’s name.
The book shakes and feels warm atop her legs. The pen feels warm too, no – hot! She drops them both and sees the trinket-looking chest shining with a strange light.
A key appeared in the lock, also shimmering while it twists in the keyhole. The lid of the chest opens and Joss peers inside to see a stack of money – several stacks – all of $100 bills, to be exact. She’s shocked, laughing and crying at once. She starts counting and gets to ten bills, with a little ‘yip’ of glee escaping her mouth. She keeps counting, and then hears a noise beside her.
“You chose wisely,” Mrs. Lee says with a smile.
“You mean, you knew?” Jocelyn whispered.
“Yes.” Mrs. Lee knowingly smiled. “It’s your gift because you’ve realized you love your brother more than anything else in this world. The power of your thoughts with this journal, pen and chest – you’ve now been given $20,000.”
“Be smart, act and spend carefully. Its not enough for your whole life. But it will help you and Jake not stress and fight so much. Take it, and just be there for each other. Care for and love each other. And it will be enough.”
“You will have enough.”
“You are both enough.”




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