A Remarkable Moment

I was watering flowers on a hot summer’s day. A toddler with fat hands took the hose from me. Her black hair glistened in the sun. She crouched low to the ground, murmuring to the flowers she spilt water on. She looked up and tugged at my hand, she was amazed at the ants crawling through the peonies. A tickle removed her attention from the flowers, ants crawled across her brown feet. She squatted for a closer look. There was water all over the sidewalk, running in tiny rivers down to the road. Together we stomped through the water, tracking perfect impressions of our feet. Holding the hose, she reached with her free hand to grasp the running water. It moved easily out of her hand. She tried again, delighted with the waters ability to evade her. Determined to hold the water she clasped her hand across the opening of the hose. Like a glittering firework the water fragmented from under the grip of her hand. Water sprayed in her face and mine. She looked through dripping eyelashes to see rainbows hanging in the rainstorm she had created. She shrieked with delight.

My vision was obscured by the rainbow mist. Standing there in the downpour, listening to the tinkling bells of a babies laugh, I was transported to the top of a mountain. As I looked across the earth a voice asked me my heart’s desire. Overflowing with joy my heart could not hold back the desires felt.

I want one more day to hold that tiny, fat hand. I want one more hour to play in the sun. I want one more surprising jump from the garden toad. I want a hundred more reasons for my children to laugh and I want to laugh easily with them.

I want to travel to strange places. I want to eat new food. I want to smile and nod to someone who doesn’t understand a bit of English. I want to buy fabric from a beautiful woman in the street. I want to smell spices at the market. I want to ride in a taxi and have no idea where I am going. I want to see art that takes my breath away. I want to dance.

The more want I expressed the more wants I had. Speaking them aloud felt exhilarating. I could have these things. I have had these things. I live in a world of wonder, joy and excitement. My list continued.

I want to lay on the roof of a house. I want to gaze at stars. I want to sit closely to another’s body. I want to ask impossible questions. I want a kiss that is electric. I want to sit under a warm blanket and breath cold air. I want to laugh and flinch as a bat flies too close. I want to be tickled. I want to be held down as I pretend to resist. I want to appreciate another person for exactly who they are.

I want to always want more. I want to look forward to adventure. I want to see that life is fun. I want to know that I am powerful. I want to feel beautiful. I want to sing. I want to live in the moment. I want to feel overwhelmed by appreciation. I want to know that I am free.

My feet touched back to the sidewalk. Ecstasy made my heart leap. I scooped the toddler into my arms. I kissed her neck and her cheeks. I was alive. I was happy. I had everything I had ever wanted.