A life lesson, but at what cost

Because of you, the things I used to enjoy are now a reminder of my mistakes.

Because of you, I flinch whenever someone completely squeezes me, like they’re suffocating me.

Because of you, words that used to have no meaning now have a negative impact.

Because of you, i can’t unhear simple sentences coming from you and giving me a bad memory.

Because of you, I’ve had countless sleepless nights, my brain constantly reminding me of my failures and choices.

Because of you, i nearly went down a mental spiral.

Because of you, everything that you have ever said is now ruined for me.

Because of you, things I used to do now hold absolutely terrifying meaning to me.

Because of you, I’ve learnt to not pry too far down, no matter how trustworthy people seem.

Because of you, I’ve learnt to leave difficult situations immediately without hurting myself.

Because of you, I’ve lost things I used to have no meaning to or enjoy.

Because of you, I’ve learnt how to be stronger, and fight back.

Because of you, I learnt the grave consequences of my own actions.

Because of you, I’ve learnt to stop acting strong whenever needed and be the victim in order to get what I want.

Because of you, I’ve changed. For better or worse, i don’t know.

Because of you, I’m now a horrible person.

But because of you, I’m stronger than I was before, and learnt from my mistakes and grow.

Because of you, i know how it feels to be broken down.

Because of you, i value my choices more.

Because of you, i was broken.

Because of you, i know what it feels to be free.

Not just surviving, a split second of feeling alive.

The rush of adrenaline coursing through my veins. Ecstasy. Joy. Pure relief.

Because of you, I learnt how to love myself.

Because of you, I know that I am not alone in times of need.

Because of you, this is now just a small part of my story.

Because of you, I can now proudly say I am a survivor.