A letter to the one who hurt me the most

Dear Him

It's been 2 months now since we separated, I saw that you already have a girlfriend after a week of us breaking up. makes me think if you have been talking to her way before we broke up. I loved you, I spent 2 years loving you and giving you my all. I thought what we had was special, unforgettable. I guess it was only like that for me. we have been through so much together, I told my whole family about you, you know how hard and sad it is to tell your father that the man you once called love left you and got over a 2-year relationship in a week. It's killing. you told me you loved me and that this time you changed. I believed you, I did, but you left again. you made me wait 1 year for us to start dating, I YEAR JUST IN THE TALKING STAGE because you said you had commitment problems because of your last relationship. if that's true then tell me to love why after 2 years you wait a week and you already have another one, it took me a year to call you to mine and it only took her a week. did you love me? or did you only love the love and attention I gave you because I gave you my all. I let you use me because I didn't see the real you, I only saw what I wanted to see but I'm done. I can't keep fighting anymore, you hurt me so bad that not even words can explain what I'm going through right now. I can't keep hurting myself, I hope you feel what I felt when you shattered my heart. I hope you grow up mentally and realize how bad you messed me up. I can't even love anymore because I fear that your going to try to come back and ill let you...again, but losing you made me realize one thing, that I loved you more than I loved myself, but I'm done I'm so tired of not being enough for you. I was never enough for you. you always wanted more, more than I had and I gave it to you and left myself with nothing because I thought you would have done the same for me too but instead you left. you left me with absolutely nothing but hate for you and me. you were my first love and I wanted you to be my last, so badly. the reason why I don't believe in love anymore is because of you. I don't understand how you can live knowing you hurt me without an explanation. I trusted you with my all and you knew that and you still hurt me. you left like what we had was nothing but it wasn't just nothing, those late-night phone calls weren't just nothing, the times you walked me home just to keep me safe weren't just nothing. I know that if you didn't love me you wouldn't have done that, so why I ask you, why did you do that to me. made me believe that you loved me. it's so hard to move on. I keep telling myself since you did I can too but I can't, I cant and I don't know why but all I know is that I will soon, I'm ready to love myself again I'm ready to let you go. for real this time because you won't and I won't let you win. one day you're going to miss what we had, it may not be now but one day you are going to try to come back and I won't let you because ill be happy with someone else, with someone who deserves my all, someone who loves me. so I hope you are happy love because I know you'll never get anything from me ever again.

from: her