A Lesson In Patience

The person I would like to thank today is a little unusual. I know that I should be thanking my parents or my husband for all the love, devotion, and support that they have given me over the years. And they have been monumental in making me the person I am today. But patience was never my virtue until met the person who has been the most impactful in the honing of my patience levels, my dog trainer.

Dog Trainer? You ask? I know, if you would have asked me years ago if I would even be going to a dog trainer I would have laughed. Bear came along, a little ball of fur that was rambunctious, adventurous, and everywhere, and loved to bite and hold rocks in his mouth and chase everything. Oh, and did I mention he introduced me to my first experience with separation anxiety! I tried all the tricks that I had used before, but to no avail. I did not even know where to begin with the anxiety. He would throw up and poop all over the house if anyone left him, once I had to rush him into the ER because I came home, and he got into our bathroom and chewed a whole through a metal mesh garbage can. Cat hairball treatment for a week, he came through fine.

I started looking into dog training classes and even “gasp” doggie psychologists because I didn’t know what to do, I was at my wits end because I had to go to work. So, after trying several trainers I settled on one that was close to where I lived. She worked with Bear, and she even worked with me. Apparently, me knowing that he was going to be bad if I left the room triggered him even more. So many times, I was kicked out of the classroom only to stand outside and worry if he was okay. All the while, she would just say be patient.

This went on for weeks, then months, I got introduced to pheromone diffusers in the house and calming collars, (which never seemed to work on him, but sure made me sleepy)! After a while our challenging work was paying off, I could go to work and not come home to any messes, and he was simply happy to see me when I got home. A few months later, we even passed our Canine Good Citizens tests and won multiple obedience competitions.

While working with her, I also found out that she had a kennel and animal shelter that she also managed. She was partnered with the ASPCA and would take in dogs that were deemed unfit for other animal shelters and try to rehab them to where they could be adopted. I was always and animal lover and one day she lost a volunteer and I thought “how hard could it be?” I love animals, animals love me, and life should be peachy, right? Wrong….

I was completely unprepared for what I saw. You hear about animal cruelty on the news or on social media, but you never see it up close. She had pit bulls and German shepherds that were used in dog fighting rings as bait dogs, they were so chewed up and afraid that they would just hide and whimper in the corner. There were dogs that had been so neglected that they were emaciated and had had their collars growing into their necks.

She would get international dogs from China or India that were rescued from becoming food in the dog meat festivals that were even more traumatized. In those cultures, it is believed that the meat tastes better the more terrified the animal is. These dogs would come in with chunks of them missing and cuts all over them. They had never seen daylight or had walked on grass. They were kept in small boxes with air holes, they could not move, they were covered in urine burns and feces. I had never believed that man could be so cruel….

After seeing this I doubted that these dogs could be saved. I had never seen such hopelessness, sadness, and terror. I would try so hard not to cry while I was there, but when I got home it was just a torrent of tears. I had never felt such suffering and it was overwhelming. I really do not know why, but I kept going back even though it killed me to be there. I guess I just wanted to see a happy ending. And the trainer said, if I was patient. would see a change.

I spent my time working with two of the international dogs, Tommy, and Victoria. At first dogs would just sit in the kennel staring at the wall, my job was just to sit in the pen with them and read a book just so they would get used to a person being around that was not there to hurt them. After they got used to me being in the kennel with them, my goal would be to try to get them to leave the kennel and just go to another room. Still no touching, no leash, just me sitting in the corner waiting for them to realize that they can get up and move.

Next came the leash, I would just put it on them, and I would sit by the door with it cracked day after day just to get them interested in the smells outside. They would not come close at all and would just still sit in the corner as far away from me as they could get. This was extremely hard for me and just broke my heart. All I wanted to do was just hold them and pet them and just show them that everything was okay, but I was not permitted to make the first move.

After a few months, I questioned if this were really working as it had been a long time and they still would not go outside or come anywhere near me. The trainer told me that sometimes it could take at least a year for them to come around even a little bit, I just needed to be patient. This was so frustrating to me; I wanted to cuddle and play now!

I had started leaving the kennel door open into the run for both dogs. Neither one of them had ever been outside before, the slightest noise frightened them, birds would send them into the corner cowering. I just sat in the kennels with them and waited. After a few weeks, Tommy stepped out the door with a paw, I got so excited, but did not want to move. He took another step and after about an hour, he was fully outside. I was jumping for joy inside! He stayed out there for a few minutes and just looked around, unfortunately, a crow landed out in the yard, and he came running back inside. My heart sank. The next day, he tried again, he kept going out a little bit every day until the outside world did not bother him anymore.

Victoria on the other hand, was a lot more reluctant. It took several more weeks for her to try to venture outside. There was a whole week where she would just lay on the floor with her head in the opening, just her nose peeking out into the world. The patience I have needed at this point has been enormous, because all I want to do is help them along and show them love and that everything is okay. Finally, she took her first steps outside, I practically ran to the trainer with this wonderful news.

I was still a bit frustrated though, I know I have experienced all this progress and I should be happy, right? I just wanted them to come over to me, to anyone. I would bring them all kinds of treats and toys to try and coax them over, but nothing. They were no longer afraid of me but did not want anything to do with me either. Day after day I tried, all the trainer would ever say was to be patient. I grew to really dislike that phrase!

One day, it finally happened! Tommy came over and quickly took a treat from me! I practically peed my pants with happiness! He ran back to the other side with his treat to eat it, but he finally came to me. It took all I had not to run over and try to hug him! After several more visits, he would stay at my side while he took his treat. One day, I reached out my hand to see if he would come and he started nuzzling my hand and I was then finally able to pet him! I was in the kennel, tears rolling down my face, because patience finally did work, and I had this big, beautiful dog trusting me enough to touch him.

After a while, I tried to take Tommy for a “walk.” He had no idea what to do outside and would sniff everything, he was still quite terrified of the outdoors, he would jump when the wind blew a leaf by him, and still panic if a bird flew by, and the walks were only about five minutes at first. Patience again finally paid off, he came around and started to walk me! It was amazing to see the transformation in him. The trainer then started him in classes to get him ready for adoption.

Victoria was another story, I do not know what happened to her before she came to us and I do not want to, but it took a lot longer for her. I was sure she would come around right after Tommy, but it was at least two more months before the day came when she took a treat out of my hand. The first time she came to me I was overjoyed; I knew I was not to make a sound or movement and that was the hardest part. I know I went out of the kennel that day and literally jumped for joy!

They days went by, and Victoria would still not come into physical contact with me, and I was beginning to get a little disheartened. I had asked the trainer if there was anything else I could do and again, all I got told was just patient. I continued my vigil, different treats every day and then one day, she did not take a treat but just came over and laid beside me. Again, all I wanted to do was to reach down and pet her, but the trainer advised self-restraint. And, of course, be patient.

A few more weeks passed, and she finally came over and put her head on my lap and I cried. I was so happy and fulfilled that she finally chose to make contact with me. I was able to pet her, and she did not shy away or run away and sit in the corner. She started coming to the kennel door to greet me when I came in and it was amazing!

Her walks went in the same fashion as Tommy’s. Absolutely terrifying and short in the beginning and then after a few weeks, she could not get enough of being outside. She had a thing for flowers, she would always stop and “smell” the flowers that were around the kennel. We also found out that she loved stuffed teddy bears, other toys did not catch her attention at all, but if she saw a teddy bear, she took it back to her kennel. After a while, she also started training classes.

After working with these two dogs for so long, I really wanted to see them get good homes, but was a little possessive of them too! I knew I could not bring them home because neither one had a good relationship with Bear because he was much too hyper, and they were still scared. Patience came in to play again when we started looking for potential homes for them. They needed just the right calm and quiet person, and we knew we would need to work with that person so they would be able to care for these dogs that had been so abused and give them the best life possible.

After several prospects, we found a home for Tommy! He had a nice older couple adopt him and they went through training and have reported several times and sent updated photos, that Tommy is doing well and has become the perfect couch potato. He just loves TV and is fascinated by it and will sit in front of it for hours.

Victoria was adopted by a couple who lives on a farm and loves to take care of kittens! She had been used as a breeder dog and her puppies were always taken away from her before she could raise them. She had never taken care of her own puppies and the kittens became her new “puppies.” The farm has a large field of wildflowers, and the couple has reported that Victoria will spend most of the day out there with her kittens.

This was an amazing experience for me and has taught me to REALLY “stop and smell the roses.” Volunteering for her taught me so much about patience, love, and compassion that my heart is full, and I feel that I am a better human being for it.

I just want to thank her for all the time, love, support, compassion, and patience that she has with these animals. It is really quite amazing to see and experience firsthand. And I want to thank her for teaching me to enhance these qualities in my life, because before this, patience was never my strongest ability.

I want to thank her for taking in these animals and giving them a second chance. Most of the shelters will not take animals this damaged because they are too hard to rehab and would take too long to rehab. In the majority of these cases, it means that they would just be put down and considered lost causes.

In my eyes this woman is an angel and has earned a place in my heart as a hometown hero.