A friendship like the garden

Our friendship, like the garden, goes through phases. Some moments we are the seeds, dormant, existing in the dark together. Sometimes one of us is sprouting, while the other is not. Our friendship is often the wild bloom in July when everything is green and shining. Our friendship is change. Everyday in the garden is exciting, as some new development has occurred. I don’t judge the newness. I don’t judge the leaves that have been shed, or the new roots. And neither do you.

Our friendship is patience and stillness. There is a trust in the process. It knows there are seasons and times and places for growth, and for decay. It is the hope that we'll keep growing together, with the understanding that we may experience moments where we grow apart. And we have.

However, like any vine, there is some inexplicable tendency to grab onto what is close, to stretch itself out, so it can exist in its greatest potential. Truly, that is what our friendship is. And you, pal, are the place my tendrils grab onto. This is the type of love that exists in the bloom. It is excitement in the planting of new seeds. It is the anticipation for a new sprout. It is the understanding that all things in this life must die, including parts of ourselves. For anyone that has been friends with someone long enough, they'll know that to sustain the relationship, an environment must be created where the one they love has the grace to evolve. Friendship is supporting each other through change. It is tending to the garden, without judgment. It is stepping into the friendship everyday, with the appreciation that your pal has shown up too.

That's who you are, love. You have shown up, over and over again. No matter how our lives twist and turn, there is an alchemy, a magic of connecting back to each other. This is unconditional love. It is holding space for whoever we are in that moment. It is real, because let's be honest, at times we have to pull weeds in the garden, just like we have to work on our friendship. It isn't always easy, but to be with someone who accepts all phases of growth, and accepts me for who I am... well that's someone I want to stick with.

With that acceptance comes silliness, vulnerability, and deep love. When we meet another person in their true essence, we create a space that is safe to share our darkest feelings, and our shiniest excitements. My friend, you are this person. You build me up. You celebrate who I am when I am blooming. You remind me of who my brightest self is when I am in times of dormancy or decomposition. You challenge me all of the time. You keep me accountable. We’re so connected that there is little room for hiding. There is little room for inauthenticity. There is little room to pretend for long, because we mirror each other. We have cultivated a love with deep roots of honesty. We are the soil we stand firmly on when life becomes unstable.

I do not know who I would be without our friendship. We have grown up together. We’ve outgrown things. We’ve grown into different lives, and different people, while somehow staying side by side. I thank you for this. I thank you for your calm. I thank you for your ability to see the beauty in life, and for how creative you are. Joy surrounds you often, and I have the privilege of witnessing you in full bloom. I have the privilege of knowing your story. You remind me that things will be okay. You remind me to listen to myself. You remind me to trust. You remind me that love can change a life, as your love has altered mine ineffably.

Ultimately, the garden has taught me that there isn't much control we have over things. We can have the most favorable conditions and still a seed won't sprout. Conversely, a beautiful seedling can grow in less than ideal environments. Life doesn't always make sense. We can only watch in awe as life transforms around us, and we cannot force it to happen. We have to meet each other in the moment and exist together as best we can. That is what you teach me, too.

My darling, it has been a deep joy sustaining this relationship over the course of our lifetime. There has been true commitment, and it has given me hope. Our friendship creates some sense of certainty that no matter who we become, no matter the changes in our lives, I could call you and whisper, "I need to tell you all of the thoughts in my mind. I need to let go of the madness for a second." And you would pause and say, "Well, go on babe. I am listening. I am here."