A "Friend"

I had a childhood friend. I would say grade 8 was when our friendship truly started to slowly fall. I was suppose to go to a different high school than the one I graduated from. The only reason why I chose the high school I graduated from was her. She told me to choose the school she is going to, so I did.

Grade 8 came, the first year of high school. I would say, we didn't even go to the same high school (the one she wanted to go) for half a year let alone 2 months and she already told me she wants to transfer to a different high school. I was so furious when I heard that. She practically begged me to choose the high school she chose; Now she wants to go somewhere else. Unbelievable. I tried the same method, I too tried to beg her, but in vain. She didn't budge. She told me herself that if she transfers, she wouldn't know anyone, but the school knows her family more. Honestly, if you stay in one place long enough, everyone will know everyone. Aside from this, when she said no one is going to know who she is, I told her to stay with me in the same high school and don't transfer. Instead of saying she will stay, she told me to transfer with her. I was shocked. I obviously declined that offer. She wasn't willing to stay for me, but I was. I would've been ignorant if I had accepted that offer and actually transferred with her. At the time when we were in grade 8, we were living close to each other and close to the original high school we chose. If I had chosen to transfer high schools, I would've had to wake up really early every morning just to get to school. She wouldn't have to because she has a house that is closer to that school.

Through out high school, my grade 7 friend group started to fall out. We slowly stopped talking to each other. Only one friend I have kept in contact in that group, I shall call her M. M is the one who left me and transferred to another school. Being so young, when she left me after I chose her, I didn't really want to be friends with her anymore, but despite that, I decided to give her another chance. I don't usually see her, but I would schedule a time for us to go out together and spend time with each other, She either says yes or no. When she says yes, she would cancel at the very last minute. If I was lucky she would cancel on me a day before we were scheduled to meet. If I wasn't so lucky, she would cancel on me the day of or when I call her and ask her where she is or ask her what time she would want to meet. After so many cancelation, I didn't really want to go out with her anymore because I would always see her posting pictures of her and her new friends on her social media going out and having fun. Yes, it does sound like I am jealous, but aside from a jealousy feeling, this is just not the right thing to do to anyone. It hurt my feelings when I saw those pictures. In fact, she would also invite my sister out, but not me. Her excuse of inviting my sister out and not me is that my sister isn't as scared as me and she is willing to go out late. But it's not my fault for being scared and being cautious of what time is the right time to go out. When you are a young girl who doesn't know any self defense, you shouldn't be out. But of course you are the boss of yourself. If you really want to go out, no one can really stop you.

After graduating high school, I also graduated aesthetician school. Before I graduated aesthetician school, I wanted to earn money, but I had no idea what kind of job I wanted to work. I'm the kind of person who wants to try everything. To be honest, I applied many different jobs, but didn't get accepted. M texted me and asked me if I would be interested in working with her in the same company. I have never worked a single job in my life: at least not officially, I only went to work with my mom and helped her a little bit with her work. When M told me about the job opportunity, I immediately accepted it. The pay was good, the benefit was good, how could I not have said yes? The only problem is that M told me to not say she recommended me and if I got hired, don't tell anyone we know each other. That was a red flag to me because why would she not want anyone knowing we are friends or the fact that she is the one who recommended me? The only reason I could think of was that she was/is embarrassed to be seen with me. The way I talk, some people would make fun of it and some surprisingly likes it. When I got hired, in the beginning we would eat lunch together, and some of the lunches we would talk about different topics. One time, she suddenly told me she was surprised that I got hired because I was never employed before, Another time, she she saw m smiling a lot and she asked me out of nowhere if I have Boyfriend, I said yes. When I said yes, she looked so shocked. I was offended. A true friend would not be shocked and jaw dropping shocked. This is my first boyfriend, so I understand why she would be shocked, but when I showed her my boyfriend she would in my opinion, make fun of him. She would say stuff like, "I can't believe you are into black now, before you were so into K-pop and Chinese, Korean, Asian guys". For me, personally, my ideal type are Asian guys, I find them attractive. Who I get into a relationship is a total different type. When I get into a relationship, it's not about the appearance, it's about their personality, how they treat not only me, but other people, they have to be a kind hearted person, they don't only think about themselves, but other people. To be specific, he isn't only African, he was born in Portugal.

The person M has turned into is not the one I thought or would've even imagined turning into.