A 40-Year Old Revelation

Dalton(alias) was the sum of every high school girl’s dreams. I was almost crushed by the weight of the crush I had on him. I felt I had a better chance of being the sole winner of the lottery than ever scoring a date with Dalton.

He was an athlete and the target of the most beautiful girls in the school. I was a band geek, blerd (Black nerd), and a shoo-in for the introvert’s hall of fame.

Dalton was uber handsome and the most popular boy in school.

The Meet-Up

Our worlds intersected every day during the magical period called lunch. The thing that brought Dalton and I together was a game called The Dozens.

The Dozens is a ruleless game of trading insults. People could barely eat their lunches because they were so engrossed in the battle royale Dalton and I put on full display daily!

Dalton and I first met in middle school, where my hormones were still in hibernation mode. My crush on him sprang upon me at the beginning of our freshman year. I was a walking dichotomy. I am an introvert, but for 30 minutes each school day, extroversion enveloped me so I could participate in the verbal insult wars.

Nothing was off-limits for Dalton and me.

We traded yo mama jokes, even though we both respected each other’s moms greatly. We were having fun and entertaining anyone within earshot of our verbal barrage.

Hypocrisy

I always felt a pang of guilt after each session. My blitzkrieg of insults was used to mask how much I loved Dalton. I never wanted anyone to know because I would be the laughingstock of the school.

I was 5’10, and Dalton was 5’7. He looked like the cat’s meow, and I looked like something the cat drug in.

I think I just wanted to spend time with him no matter what the circumstance was.

The Dozens game perfectly hid my true feelings for Dalton. I would not know how well the game worked until 40 years later.

The Call

My high school classmates are planning a reunion, and Dalton is on the committee. We have a database of the email addresses and phone numbers of classmates. As luck would have it, I was one of the people Dalton was assigned to call.

When the phone rang, and I looked at the caller id, I was paralyzed with fright. How should I sound when I answer, I thought? By the end of the second ring, I just gave in and answered the damn phone call!

His voice sounded like smooth melted butter. The sensation I felt listening to him was like running my hand over the soft piece of velvet.

He thanked me politely for taking the call, and I sheepishly thanked him for calling.

A Confession

We talked for three hours about our children and the loss of our spouses. I was widowed, and he was divorced. I always liken divorce to a type of death. I see love as a living being, and divorce often ends that life. We laughed about the old days, and then he asked me a shocking question.

“Why were you always so mean to me, Daisy?” he inquired.

The blood drained from my face as I tried to formulate a ‘“safe” response. Rather than continue the masquerade for another 40 years, I expressed my true feelings.

He responded with,” I would never have guessed you felt that way.”

What he said next, I was ill-prepared to hear.

A Big Surprise

“I always thought you were pretty Daisy,” he said. “I also thought you didn’t like me that much,” Dalton added.

I always had a chance with Dalton. I just never knew I did. I let so many external thoughts about the opinions of others cheat me out of a potential relationship.

I still get chills when I think about that moment he revealed what he thought about me 40 years ago.

Where Are We Today?

Dalton and I are great friends today. He lives in a different state, but we stay in touch. We are planning to spend time together before the reunion actually occurs.

Conversations about life find us whiling away two to three hours every time we speak.

Thank you for reading about my life lesson that you don't know until you know!