3 Reasons Why Men Don't Want To Get Married

"My boyfriend doesn't want to get married, what do I do?"

Often times I hear couples say that they are head over heels for their partner, but their partner is not interested in taking that next leap.

Marriage is a big decision for most people and is one that should be carefully thought out and planned. When it comes to men wanting to say "I do", a few things need to take place first in order for them to feel comfortable being in holy matrimony.

1. Financial Stability

Men are deemed to be the "breadwinners" of the family and although this is far from the truth in many relationships, it is still an idea that is buried in the minds of many men.

They have this natural inclination to be financially well off and this drive to be financially successful can cost them a few relationships in the long run. But once they have that stability, they will reason with themselves that it was worth it.

Some men use financial success as a measurement of self-worth. Without it, they may tend to feel incapable of providing for a family and may have feelings of worthlessness.

What can you do to help?

It doesn't take a sit-down conversation to determine if you two as a couple are financially stable. The best thing you can do is support your partner through their endeavors and help them set goals. If your partner knows that at the end of the day you have their back, then this extra boost of encouragement might just be the stability they need to say, "marry me".

2. Fear Of Losing Independence

This reason can easily be grouped into two categories; men fear marriage will result in the loss of their independence and marriage requires a hefty load of accountability/responsibility.

It is true, that when two individuals become committed to each other (married or not) the last-minute hangouts at the bar or the spontaneous group chill nights will rapidly decline. This is a normal change and it does not constitute the end of independence, rather it redefines your definition of independence.

Instead of only worrying about your own interests, you have another person that wants your attention and inclusion. These activities you can still partake in, but it will require inclusion on your part and communication with your partner.

In terms of accountability/responsibility (we see this with older bachelors), having another person around means being held accountable for what they say and do.

It can be nerve-racking for men to have engaged in behaviors that were socially acceptable to them and their friend groups, but when you come along now it is an eye-opening issue.

Though this in of itself is not a sole reason as to why men won't get married, it can play a factor as to why they may not marry you especially if your delivery of such matters is less than loving.

What can you do to help?

Sit down with your partner and bring to his attention that you want him to have his own hobbies, friends, and interests but relationships thrive off of inclusion. When two people can enjoy each other's company with others they enjoy being around, it can help build trust and bring enjoyment to the relationship.

It is important to note that a partner must be willing to communicate these needs to you. If your partner feels as though having this simple conversation is in itself robbing them of independence, then this is not a person who is committed and you should ask yourself if the relationship is worth fighting.

3. You Are Not The One And It's Okay!

Women are natural caregivers which means we typically have a natural inclination towards settling down and starting a family. So when we find a man we trust and connect with, we often find ourselves fantasizing about the big day.

After all, he checks all of our boxes so why wouldn't he want to marry? Because even though he may check your boxes, that doesn't mean that you check his and this can be a hard pill to swallow.

If you find this to be your situation, then perhaps a small conversation of "if you could get married to someone, what would you look for?" And await his response. It is important to substitute the "me" for "someone" in that question because it will help set him up for an honest reply.

On many occasions, women find themselves in long-term relationships with men they have moved in with, bought a dog, and spend holidays with each other's family, all while awaiting the day he gets down on one knee. If you are finding this to be true in your case, then a conversation is needed.

If your partner is rapid-firing statements such as;

• "we've talked about this before"
• "what's wrong with us continuing to live together and be together like we are now?"
• "most marriages end, why put ourselves through the paperwork?"
• "why can't you just be happy being together?"

Then the next question you should be asking yourself is, "do I really want to get married?" If the answer is still, yes, then you need to accept the relationship for what it is and move on.

You two are at different stages in life and it is okay, time will not change his mind instead it will delay the process of happiness for the two of you and it will be harder to end it in the long run.