18 years old, first time

Li Zibei is one month older than me. We were both 17 years old that year.

At that age, when we thought the world was wrong and love was beautiful, he would hold my hand and call me "little girl". He would often accompany me to run around the playground after school and provide me with warmth when I argued with my parents. I kissed him for the first time by standing on tiptoe, and he blushed before I did. Seeing his shy expression, I suddenly wanted to spend my whole life with him.

One evening after self-study, we walked hand in hand on the campus field, talking about things other than hugging and kissing. The sky was dark and we couldn't see each other's expressions clearly. We hesitated and pretended to discuss those vague matters openly.

That day, we talked until late, and even after returning to the dormitory, my heart was still pounding. A curious seed seemed to have taken root in my small heart and was eager to sprout. I thought Li Zibei was probably the same, but he was shy and would never say it out loud.

The next day, as usual, we ate lunch together. Sitting face to face, we both felt a bit awkward and laughed at the same time, asking each other what was wrong. After a moment of silence, we had a moment of telepathic eye contact. Suddenly, a thought popped into my mind, and I whispered, "When I turn 18, let's spend the night together. I want you to help me complete my coming-of-age ceremony."

His face turned red instantly, from the roots of his ears to his forehead. I looked at him, feeling warm inside, full of reverence for the arrival of 18.

Three months before the college entrance examination was my 18th birthday. I took a thorough shower at home, put on new clothes, and called Li Zibei to ask if he was ready. He was panting and stuttering on the phone. When I arrived at the agreed meeting place, Li Zibei was already waiting for me, also dressed in new clothes.

He looked at me, and I looked at him. We both smiled unnaturally. Neither of us spoke, but gathered our pocket money together, unfolding and organizing the bills solemnly. Li Zibei calmly counted the money while I watched the sweat beads on his forehead, and suddenly, my heart pulsated like an electric shock, beating faster.

Li Zibei held the money in one hand and held my hand with the other. We sneaked into a hotel like thieves. His hands were sweating profusely, and my palms were wet too.

During check-in, I hid behind the counter, afraid that the staff would notice that Li Zibei had just turned 18 from his ID card. Finally, we successfully paid the money, got the room card, and entered the room that temporarily belonged to the two of us. As soon as we entered the room, Li Zibei rushed into the bathroom, and then came the sound of rushing water, forcefully pounding my eardrums.

I sat on the edge of the bed, nervously pinching my clothes. My heart was jumping like a little rabbit. I crawled into bed, thinking about what was about to happen, and my face burned hot...

But fifteen minutes later, we checked out of the room. Things didn't develop as we had expected. Li Zibei came out of the bathroom crying, and I didn't know what had happened. I silently put on my clothes and faced the past. He hugged me tightly, speaking incoherently, "Yan, let's go back... I don't want to hurt you... We... We still have the college entrance examination..."

He turned his back to me, and I silently got dressed behind him. After getting dressed, we left that hotel.

My 18th birthday celebration ended dramatically like this. Afterward, we continued to hold hands and walk on the playground, laughing and joking, but we never mentioned those things again.

Many years later, I suddenly thought of Li Zibei's back in the hotel. That back I silently observed while getting dressed was no longer the back of a boy, but the back of a man. From the moment Li Zibei waited for me to get dressed, he was using his actions to fulfill his commitment to me and shoulder the responsibilities of an 18-year-old man.

It turns out that my 18th birthday celebration contributed to someone else's growth.