10 Things I ̶H̶a̶t̶e̶ LOVE About Me

One of these things is not like the other.

One of these things just doesn't belong.

Growing up this was more than a fun song. It was my life.

I wasn't like the others.

I didn't belong.

I hated myself!

Now, I love myself.

Here's why:

1. Being Mixed Race:

Growing up in the 1970s and 80s, I knew I was mixed-race, but I didn't know it was "a thing." I thought I was the only one.

There were white people on TV & in the media. There were Black people on TV & in the media. There were no mixed people. And if there were, they were playing Black characters.

I was essentially invisible.

Not anymore!

Being mixed is an amazing blessing. I have the best of both worlds running through my veins. A rich European heritage on one side, and on the other, the proud blood of mother Africa and her stolen children.

2. Crazy Hair: My hair's my crowning glory, and I am a queen! Every coiled, coarse strand is a testament to the strength, resilience & bravery my ancestors embodied.

I no longer try to tame or straighten it. I'm no longer ashamed. I wear my curls naturally, with pride & gratitude.

3. Intelligence: I entered junior high school in 1983. Smart was NOT in. The cool kids weren't smart, and the smart kids weren't cool. Can you guess what I was?

I hid my intelligence from my peers. When someone asked me about a grade on a test, I'd sadly reply, "You don't even want to know."

It wasn't a lie. Sure, I led them purposely to a false conclusion, but they went there. And they really didn't want to know I aced whatever test it was.

Now, I love my big brain. It's come in mighty handy.

4. Bookworm: My father worried I was strange because I preferred sitting alone in my room, reading to watching hockey with the family.

And when I wasn't reading, I was secretly writing poems & stories. I hid them all in a series of coil notebooks placed between my box spring and mattress. I was so ashamed, not just of the words I'd written, but the fact that I'd written them. What a dork!

Those words stayed hidden for decades, until about 5 years ago.

Anyone familiar with my work knows how this story ends. It ends in a pretty decent following, several awards, a published novel which topped an Amazon best-seller list and inclusion in the latest Chicken Soup For the Soul Book. And there's more to come.

No shame in my word game now!

5. Scrawny: I hated my skinny, no-boob, big-assed body.

Well, I'm almost 54 and my body is alive & it works without disease or pain. That's a big win and I love it!

PS, not for nothing, but I look slammin' in a bikini!

Don't like the stretch marks? Don't look. You carry and raise 3 kids and then come talk to me about perfection. Wait, you've just seen it.

6. Autism: I didn't know my inability to fit into society's boxes had a name. It does & I love it!

My autism makes me me. It makes everything I do uniquely mine. You can't read my writing and not know whose words they are. You can't meet me and compare me to anyone else on the planet. I'm good with that.

7. Funny Looking: Growing up, I hated my appearance. Now, I can appreciate my unique beauty.

8. Soft Hearted: I'm a big softy. I love big & with everything I have. The biggest testament to that is my boys. They're 35 (almost), 32, and 30 and regularly brag about how I always supported and encouraged them and loved them no matter what. If I did nothing else in this world, that'd be enough.

9. Boring: I'm aware that I'm dull as dishwater. I'm not out at the clubs or doing interesting things. I'm usually home or out with my dogs.

When it does get cray-cray up in here, it's because there's wine, 80s tunes and a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit on the go. That's right kids, I party like it's 1989 and I'm Angela Landsbury.

10. Have Mouth, Will Fight: Oh and a law degree and years of trial experience. I have my dad's temper. You mess with me or mine, and it's on like Donkey Kong! It's not a pretty side of me. Should I be ashamed?

I'm not. I love when people underestimate me and then cower in fear with their lips firmly planted on my butt for ever after when they incur my wrath.

That's me, perfect. Perfectly not like the others.

A special thank you to @RickHenryChristopher for the challenge which inspired this story: