Together Forever

The day she died was the happiest of his life.

The trip had been the talk for months. It was June 1st. It was a Friday, and they skipped afternoon class and were heading to Stoney lake. It had all been planned.

Jason was going to drive his truck. Cooper, Mary Ann, Tommy were going to ride with him. Alice, George and Leslie were going to ride in Dean's beat down white Mustang. Kirk, Tyler and Kirk's cousin were coming in Kirk's mom's car, maybe. Tommy kinda doubted it. Kirk had gotten in trouble the weekend before. His parents weren't really in the lending mood and would be even less so when they saw Kirk's report card. But Tommy hoped it would work out. After all, Kirk was bringing some weed and that would just make it all so much cooler.

"Is that fucker Kirk coming?" Jason yelled as they stepped out to the parking lot of the school. He could be such an ass.

"Don't know. I think so," Tommy replied, not really wanting to talk about it.

The parking lot was already half empty, even the teacher's side was looking sparse. Many people were already off to enjoy their long weekend.

Tommy loped over to Jason's truck and pulled himself up on the hood.

Jason's truck was a newish Silverado two-tone, a light brown, Jason called it 'baby shit brown' and white. Jason had put a set of slot mags and serious boots on the back. It looked cool.

Tommy was envious, but Jason's dad owned a Ford dealership that took a lot of used cars in on trade. Jason was lucky. His dad had got him this truck for a song. Jason worked for his dad, washing cars and running errands to pay for gas and beer. He didn't talk about his dad much. When he did, Tommy sensed Jason didn't like his dad. He often joked about his dad's name, Johnny Carson. Carson Ford was the biggest dealership in the area. They had TV commercials with the catchphrase `Here's Johnny.' Tommy wondered why he didn't get sued for using that line, but it was his name, so maybe that was ok.

Tommy slid off the hood of the truck when he saw Cooper and Mary Ann pushing out the school doors, laughing about something.

Tommy liked Cooper. She was cute and always laughed at his jokes. He smiled. This weekend was going to be fun.

Cooper and May Ann walked up to Jason's truck, still smiling.

"Well. Let's get going." Tommy said, opening the door for Cooper. Cooper looked back at Mary Ann and giggled. Tommy blushed.

Mary Ann and Jason had been dating for nearly a month now. She walked around the hood of the truck, kissed Jason and climbed in. Jason followed. Tommy and Jason closed the door at nearly the same moment.

Jason smiled as he revved the engine and listened to its rumble. He looked over to Tommy. Tommy smiled back, also enjoying the sound.

"So all your stuff is over at Mary Ann's?" Tommy asked, interrupting the girls huddled conversation. They turned and looked at him.

"Yes," Mary Ann answered and with a disdainful shake of her head. They resumed their conversation.

Tommy caught Jason's sideways glance and frowned. He looked out the window. Jason stomped on the gas when he turned onto the street. His tires squealed amid the roar of his engine. In spite of himself, Tommy smiled.

Mary Ann lived close to the school. Cooper had slept over at her house the night before, packed and ready for the weekend.

"You gonna bring your guitar?" Jason asked Tommy over the girl's heads. They looked up and turned to him.

"Naw. Thought I'd leave it at home." He said. The girls turned back to their conversation.

He had been practicing for this weekend all semester and was sure he could probably do a few good tunes by the fire, but at the last moment, he had chickened out. He silently cursed Jason for bringing it up. Jason knew he hadn't brought it. His backpack and his tent were in the back of the truck, and that's it. No guitar.

They sat in silence, the girls chatting between them until they got the Mary Ann's house.

"Back in a sec" Mary Ann kissed Jason on the cheek. Tommy got out, letting them slide past him. Tommy stood holding the door and watched the girls run across the lawn to the house.

"Get in. They'll be a while." Jason shut off the truck. Tommy looked at the house then jumped back into the truck.

"We'll stop at the mall and get food and beer. You got money?" Jason looked at Tommy

"Yes. I have money." Tommy didn't have a job, so he'd borrowed some cash from his uncle. It was a nice feeling to have a bit of money to spend without having to tell his mom what he wanted to buy.

Jason pressed play on his tape deck and leaned back. Led Zeppelin powered out the immigrant song. Tommy smiled. He loved this song. Jason was right. The girls took their time.

"What do you think of Cooper?" Jason asked.

"She's ok," Tommy responded.

"Are you going to make a play for her?"

"I dunno. Why you think I should."

Jason shrugged, "what do you think of Mary Ann?"

"She's nice." Tommy was surprised. This was far more conversation about girls than he and Jason had had. "Why, what's up?"

Jason seemed to be listening to the music. Then he said, "if you aren't thinking about hitting on Cooper. I thought that I might."

"What about Mary Ann?" Tommy asked.

"She's ok, but I'm bored."

And that was that. Conversation over. Tommy wasn't sure what he could say after that, and Jason had said what he needed to say.

Tommy realized his idea of how this weekend was going to go had just shifted. It suddenly wasn't going to be as much fun as he thought it was. At the very least, when Jason broke with Mary Ann, she would cast a black cloud over the weekend.

Tommy wasn't sure how Jason was going to shift between best friends. Tommy was pretty sure it wasn't going to happen, and probably he and Jason would end up alone around the fire drinking beer.

The girls returned hauling heavy backpacks, laughing. Tommy got out and helped load the packs into the box of the truck and watched as Jason and Mary Ann kissed. He shook his head and smiled at Cooper. Well, it was going to be interesting.

They drove downtown and crossed main, then turned left into the mall parking lot. They pulled into a spot beside Dean's rusted Mustang. Jason and Mary Ann were going for beer. Tommy and Cooper headed for food.

Together they walked into the supermarket. Tommy grabbed a shopping cart. Cooper had a list. Tommy glanced at it. Not much, burger and hot dogs, buns, ketchup, mustard, relish, some chips and Twizzlers.

"Twizzlers?" Tommy asked. Cooper looked up and frowned.

"Ya. Jason loves them."

Tommy grunted. He had never seen Jason eating a Twizzler, but he didn't say so.

They walked down the isles, Tommy tossing things that weren't on the list. Cooper would sigh and take them out. She didn't seem to think he was funny.

They got to the freezer and got the burgers and wieners, then headed for bread.

"Why don't you go get chips," Cooper said, not looking at him.

"Sure." Tommy said, shrugged, turned and left to look for chips. They were on the next aile. He picked several large family bags, plain, barbecue and sour cream and onion.

He turned the corner to the bread aisle and stopped. Jason and Cooper were standing, talking. They were very close. He watched. Jason leaned forward and kissed her.

"Got the chips?" Mary Ann stepped past Tommy and froze. "What the fuck!" She stormed forward, murder in her eyes. Tommy turned and walked to the cashier. Behind him, he could hear screaming. He paid for the chips and went out to the parking lot.

When Tommy got to the truck. Dean was standing with Alice and Leslie. George was sitting in the Mustang with the radio on. He was rolling a joint. George could roll the best joints, tight and packed. They burned well. Dean laughed

"Is that what yer gonna eat this weekend?"

Tommy looked at his armload of chips.

"No. Jason and the girls are bringing the beer and food."

Dean laughed again. Over Tommy's shoulder, he could see the trio walking toward them.

"Looks like you're going to go hungry." Dean said.

Tommy turned. They were walking toward the truck, walking as far apart as they could. Mary Ann's arms were crossed, and she was scowling.

When they got close, Mary Ann said, "Dean, drive me home"

Dean paused until he saw Jason nod.

"Ah...sure," he said, then he turned to Alice and Leslie, "back in a minute." And he grinned his big toothy grin. He helped Mary Ann with her backpack and opened the door for her. Another big grin, and they drove off.

Tommy watched them leave then looked at Jason. The Shit didn't stick. Tommy didn't know how it always seemed to work out for him. Anything he wanted, no matter how big, it just worked out. He looked at Jason and Cooper now standing close. Tommy shook his head.

Jason and Cooper ran back into the grocery store and grabbed the food. They came back holding hands. Dean returned, smiling.

Tommy looked at his group of friends. It was amazing how fast things shifted around him. In a few minutes, the three of them were heading out of town.

It was just over an hour's drive to the lake. Jason and Cooper chatted, kissed and generally were annoying. Tommy kinda wished Mary Ann was still here. At least then, Jason would be talking to him, and the girls would be giggling in the middle.

Tommy felt like the third wheel that he was. He watched the trees flash by as they roared down the road. He was resigned to spend the weekend watching the newly formed couple lock themselves together.

They arrived with the sun still up. They pulled into the campsite and stepped out. The air smelt of pine and freshwater.

It wasn't a busy lake, which made it perfect for a graduation celebratory weekend.

Tommy climbed out of the truck and looked around. In the center of the site was a fire pit surrounded by blackened stones, then sand and patches of grass that led to a larger area of flat grass. That's where they would pitch their tents.

Tommy grabbed his pack, sleeping bag and tent and headed to set up. He knew that later he would be in no shape to pitch the tent. He had promised himself he would pitch it as soon as they arrived so he could swim and drink and not have to worry about it.

Jason and Cooper walked to the water's edge and kissed. No, that doesn't describe the face lock that ensued. It was nearly obscene.

With the tent up, Tommy crawled in and put on his denim shorts. He was going for a swim. He had promised himself, so he was going to keep that promise.

With a towel around his neck, he walked self-consciously across the sand to the water's edge. He dropped the towel. And stepped into the water.

Stoney Lake wasn't very popular because the lake was really shallow for a long way, then it dropped off incredibly fast.

Tommy walked the water, never getting higher than his knees. He stopped and looked back at the tiny figures on the beach. He turned, and the water suddenly was up to his belly button. Another step and the water would be above his head.

He dove. The water was colder the deeper as he went. He opened his eyes. The sand dropped off into blackness. The blackness menaced him. He surfaced and swam back to a point where he could stand. He looked back to the beach. Jason and Cooper were nowhere to be seen.

Tommy swam toward the beach, but suddenly it wasn't deep enough to swim. He stood and began walking, grateful the sun was warm, and the wind was light.

He was on his way all back when he saw Dean's Mustang pull into the campsite next theirs.

On the beach, Tommy towelled off and walked up to the campsite. Jason and Cooper were nowhere to be seen. Tommy waved to Dean and the group he had brought. He headed for his tent. He would change into his dry jeans and go over and have a laugh.

He walked to his tent and stopped. Fuck! Jason and Copper were in there. He groaned. Of course. He turned and walked to the camp next door.

"Where, Jason?" Alice asked. Tommy had always thought she had a thing for Jason. George and Leslie were off setting up their tent. They had been together since grade 9 and moved as one unit, quiet and efficient. In some ways, he envied them. So much of the random, unpredictable shifts in the social connections were beyond them. All this jostling was unknown to them. He watched them walk back from their tent hand in hand. Completely at ease.

"Yes," he thought," that's what I want."

Jason and Cooper came walking over smiling. They didn't have the same relaxed air, but Tommy envied them as well. He scowled at Jason as they passed each other. Jason ignored him. Tommy headed for his tent to change.

When he stepped out of his tent, the sun was low. He pulled his jacket over his T-shirt and walked towards the fire that Dean had started. Halfway there, he turned and walked to Jason's truck, grabbed two folding chairs and carried them back to the fire. He unfolded the chairs, and Jason grabbed them and sat handing one to Cooper.

Tommy sighed and turned. He walked back to the truck to get the other two folding chairs. He was reaching into the box to pick up the remaining chairs when Kirk drove up and parked behind Dean's Mustang.

So he got his mom's car after all. Tommy wondered if he had told his mom about the report card. He didn't think so. He climbed into the box to reach the chairs. With the chairs in hand, he jumped down out of the truck.

He walked toward the fire looking at his friends laughing. Jason and Cooper were leaning toward each other. Their hands continued to touch each other. Tommy wondered how long this would last. How long would it take for Jason to start getting bored?

George and Leslie were sitting together on a blanket on the sand, smiling, looking around at the crowd, enjoying the back and forth.

Kirk was digging through a cooler with Tyler giving him directions. Off to the side and standing beside him was a girl Tommy didn't know. She was slight and delicate with a bag in her hand and a guitar case on her back. He watched her. She was unknown but somehow not unsure. She stepped to her right, closer to the fire. She was almost entirely silhouetted by the fire. Kirk said something, and she turned her head to look toward him, her ponytail flying.

Tommy set the chairs down beside Jason, who didn't notice. Then Tommy walked over to Kirk to get a beer.

"Hey, Kirk. toss me a beer." Tommy said.

Kirk, his head still in the cooler, said nothing, just passed a beer back. The unknown girl took it and passed it to Tommy.

"Thanks." He said, but she had turned away to take another beer, then she turned back, beer in hand and Tommy's heart did something he had never felt before. In an instant, it both raced a frantic beat and calmed to a lethargic pace, at once panicked and completely relaxed. He couldn't have described it if his life depended on it. When she looked up at him, he died and lived completely in a millisecond.

"You're welcome." She grinned and tapped his beer that he had completely forgotten about, with hers and then she took a swallow looking at him.

"I'm Rebecca" she extended her hand. Tommy looked at her then said

"Tommy" and grasped the offered hand. She laughed and looked at Kirk,

"I'm Kirk's cousin."

"Ya, I figured." He cursed inside at his lameness.

She smiled and took another sip of beer, and looked around.

"You want to sit by the fire?" Tommy asked, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Sure." She looked at Kirk, his head still in the cooler. Tyler had walked off and was talking with Alice. Now Kirk was swearing. Something about Jason forgetting his beer or some such. She shrugged and followed Tommy to the chairs he had set up next to Jason. Jason looked up as they approached. Tommy scowled at Jason, who grinned back and turned to Cooper.

Rebecca slipped her guitar off her back, placed it behind her chair and sat.

"You play?" Tommy asked, indicating the guitar case. Dumb thing to say. Of course, she played. Again he cursed his stupidity.

"Ya little. I thought tonight I would try to play in front of strangers instead of just a couple of friends. I nearly left it at home, then Kirk just picked it up and threw it in the car. I was mad for a bit but maybe later when people have some beer in them. We'll see. I'm not very good" she took a sip of beer and looked around at the firelight faces.

"I wish Kirk had been around when I packed for this weekend. I may have had my guitar as well."

"Oh, you play?"

"Only to myself in my room. No one has heard me except my mom and only through a closed door. She says I'm real good, but moms always say Shit like that."

She laughed lightly.

"Maybe you'll play for me," She said and looked at him. Tommy felt his heart stagger.

The sun had set, and the darkness was upon them. Dean had backed his Mustang close to the group, opened the hatchback and had his stereo booming. More Led Zeppelin. It seemed to be the band of the weekend. That was ok with Tommy.

Tommy and Rebecca talked about songs they liked, songs they wanted to learn, songs they knew. It was easy. They talked, and Tommy forgot he was talking to a girl. He was talking to a friend with the comfort and ease he had with any of his friends, but he also was keenly aware of her otherness. The complete girlness of her. He found himself amazed she said things he had thought. Amazed that she had the courage to say out loud thoughts he wouldn't have admitted and also amazed that there was a girl that thought as he did. Maybe girls weren't that different, after all.

At some time, Tommy wasn't sure when George had lit the barbecue and, with Leslie's help, was cooking burgers. Tommy realized he was hungry when the scent of the meat cooking wafted past him.

"Shit, I'm hungry," he blurted. Rebecca chuckled.

"Ya me too." She smiled at him, "Want a burger or a hotdog?" She stood.

Surprised, he said," A burger would be great." And he smiled.

"Great. Get me one too," she laughed at the fading smile on his face, then stood and left to get their burgers.

After a bit, she returned, carrying two burgers on paper plates.

"I didn't know if you wanted ketchup or mustard or what, so I guessed you wanted it all, so that's what you got."

"That's perfect." Pleased, he took the plate from her. She sat, placing the plate on her lap and took a bite.

"It's not bad. I wish there was cheese."

"I think we're lucky we have food at all." He told her about what happened at the mall. She looked at Jason and Cooper. He had a burger that he was devouring. Cooper was watching him with a slight frown, then she got up to get herself a burger.

"Well, that's not going to last," Rebecca said with eyebrows raised. Tommy grunted, his mouth full of food. When he finished, he tossed the plate on the fire.

"I think I want a hotdog as well. Can I get you one?"

"Naw. I'm good but maybe grab a bag of chips." She grinned

He smiled back and walked off to get the food. He talked with George for a bit while he ate his hotdog, then got a bag of chips and a couple more beers. He headed back to his chair and saw Dean sitting in his chair. He and Rebecca were talking. She was laughing.

"Shit." He said quietly to himself. Then she looked up and gestured for him to come, then she said something to Dean. Dean frowned and got up and left. Tommy smiled as he sat. He handed the chips to her.

"I got you another beer."

"Thanks." She took the fresh beer and pushed it into the sand beside her chair, then finished the beer she was drinking, it's bottom encrusted with sand as she tipped it back. Over the bottle, she looked at Tommy with smiling eyes.

As she munched on chips, they talked lost in their own world.

Sometime later, Kirk called across the fire to Rebecca, "Reb, play something."

She shook her head even as she reached for the guitar. Dean walked over and shut off his stereo. Tommy was suddenly aware of how loud it had been.

It was very quiet. No one was talking, and all eyes were on her. Tommy was surprised at how relaxed she looked as she pulled the guitar into her lap. She turned then strummed a couple of times. She smiled at the faces turned toward her, then she looked at Tommy, smiled and looked down and started.

Tommy listened, not sure what she was playing. It was quiet then her voice broke in. It was clear and bright. She sang, hunched over the guitar, looking down.

She sang 'Here comes the sun' and as she sang her head came up. She straightened, and her voice took on a power that gave Tommy goosebumps. She was really good.

When she finished, they all hooted and called, clapping loudly, calling for more. She looked down, then through her hair, she looked a Tommy.

"Was that ok?" she asked quietly.

"Ok? It was fucking amazing! You're really good!" Her head came up, and she smiled.

"Play something else."

"What do you want me to play? Wait, why don't you do a song?" He leaned back,

"Oh no, not after that. I'm nowhere near as good as you."

"Come on." She coaxed.

"Maybe later," he smiled.

"K but for sure. So what should I play?"

"Whatever you like."

"K," she looked at Tommy and smiled, then she turned and looked down at her guitar. Then she looked up and started a quiet version of 'Landslide.' He wasn't a big fan of Fleetwood Mac, but he loved her version. He watched her play and sing. Her playing was good, but her voice. It was amazing. He got lost in her songs. He watched the flames dance, and suddenly it was quiet, and she was nudging him, the guitar held out to him. He looked up from far away and, without thinking, took the guitar.

"Play," she said with a warm smile, and he did.

He had been practicing a version of "Over the hills and far away". He stumbled.

"Start again," she said, and he did, and he played perfectly. When he sang, he sang for her and smiled when she sang along.

He played every song he knew and some he had only attempted, then he handed the guitar back to her, and she played with everyone singing along.

At one point, George stood and asked if he could sing a song, and Rebecca handed him the guitar. No one knew he played guitar.

He sang 'Rocky mountain high", a John Denver song with a warm, quiet voice, all the while looking at Leslie. When he finished, he leaned down and kissed her and stood and handed the guitar back over protests and calls for more. He just smiled and shook his head.

Rebecca sang a few more songs repeating a couple of Beatle tunes, then put the guitar away. Dean didn't get up to put the music back on, and they sat around looking at the fire. It became very quiet, and in ones and twos, they left the dying fire to set up tents or to crawl into theirs and go to sleep. They watched Kirk and Alice get up and walk hand in hand to Kirk's tent. Tommy was hating that the evening was coming to an end. He wasn't drunk like he thought he might. He sat beside Rebecca, and they talked quietly then without warning, she stood.

"I'm tired. I need to sleep." Rebecca said. Tommy stood, ready to say good night, when she leaned forward and kissed him. Startled, he didn't immediately kiss her back, then he did. He got lost in her soft lips, the smell of her. She pressed herself against him, and they stood there just kissing. Then she pulled away.

"Where's your tent?" and he walked them there.

In the darkness of the small tent, they bumped around as Tommy unrolled his sleeping bag.

"Tommy."

"Yes?"

"Can I borrow your T-shirt?"

"Umm.. sure." he pulled it over his head and handed it to her.

"I left all my stuff in Kirk's tent, and well, he isn't alone." he could just make out her smile in the light that came through the tent's wall from the light of the fire. She turned her back to him and pulled off her shirt and bra and slipped his T-shirt on, then sat and struggled out of her jeans then deftly slipped into the sleeping bag. Tommy pulled off his jeans and slid in beside. She felt so warm.

"Oh my god, you're freezing!" She rolled her back to him then snuggled in against him. His left arm curled under his head. He couldn't figure out where to put his right arm. She reached over and took his hand and pulled his hand up around her near her neck, snuggled a bit and, with a contented sigh, went to sleep.

Tommy lay there spooning with a girl. His erection was a demanding embarrassment, but she didn't seem to notice, which he had a hard time believing. After a short time, the warmth and the closeness quieted him. He realized this was the first time he had slept with a girl. He had had sex before, frantic awkward slamming in the back of his mom's car, but he had never slept with a girl. He smiled as he drifted off.

They woke, still spooning. The sun wasn't up, but the sky was light. The light came through the red tent walls, washing everything with a pink hue. She'd twisted, pushed some errant hair out of her eyes and smiled.

"I have to pee," she said with a frown.

He smiled. It was obvious he needed to as well, his embarrassment back. He unzipped the sleeping bag and pulled his jeans on. She followed. The air was cool but not cold. He opened the tent flap, and she peered out.

No one else was awake. There was a mist drifting on the surface of the perfectly flat lake.

"Race ya!" She said, and she bolted for the trees to the right. Laughing, he ran to the trees a bit further back of the camp, not wanting to get too close to where she was. When he returned, she was already back and was in the sleeping bag.

Tommy noticed his T-shirt and her jeans in a pile next to the sleeping bag. He peeled off his jeans and carefully slipped into the sleeping bag. She was on her side looking at him, her hands under her head. He lay on his back, his arms were crossed outside the sleeping bag.

They said nothing for a long time. He was unsure of what she expected, and the silence made him nervous. He was about to ask her how she slept when they heard Kirk's voice faintly from his tent. He was pleading. They couldn't hear all the words, but it sounded like he wanted something and Alice wasn't interested. This went on for a while, then Alice's voice came loud and clear, "No!"

Rebecca and Tommy looked at each other, stifling their laughter. In a minute, they heard Kirk stomp by. Tommy and Rebecca were face to face smiling, then she went serious, looked at his face and kissed him. He kissed her back. With slow movements mixed with giggles and kisses, they moved together. This wasn't sex. This was something entirely different. He got lost in her, her smell, her taste. Everything mixed in pink, long hair, soft fingers, even softer lips and after a time, a soft, slow deep sign, her head back. Seconds later, Tommy clamped down, stiff, and he groaned.

He fell asleep tangled in her. When he woke, she was gone.

He pulled his denim shorts and his t-shirt on. The shorts were still a bit wet from the day before. He went out.

The sun was up in force. Everyone was awake. Most were in the water.

Kirk was out on a black tractor tire inner tube he had brought along. Alice was sitting on the beach talking with George and Leslie. Jason and Cooper were far out in the lake, probably right at the point the lake dropped off, and with them, laughing was Rebecca. She noticed him and waved. Tossing his towel and T-shirt on the sand, he started walking out. When he got close, she jumped at him, arms wrapping around his neck and kissed him. She pulled back and, with a laughing finger, pulled a stray hair from her lips. Her eyes took on a devilish look, then she splashed him and raced away. He caught her easily, and laughing, they started walking back to the beach.

Tommy spread out his towel and lay down. Rebecca had her towel and bag set down beside Cooper. She went to retrieve them. Tommy watched her walk. She had on a black string bikini top and a pair of jean cutoffs. He liked what he saw. She walked back to him, smiling and swinging her bag.

"So, what do you want to eat?" She asked

"Donno but I think I'm hungry"

"Ya, me too, but all we got is burgers and chips. I think I want something different for lunch. You know what would be great is pizza"

Jason and Cooper were just coming out of the water.

"Hey Jason, are there any places around here we could get pizza?" Tommy asked.

"Ya, there's a truck stop maybe half an hour away. They got pretty good pizza, my pop says," Brian said

"Well, you up for a pizza run?"

"Sure, let me get dressed. Who wants pizza?" Jason was always game.

As it turned out, everyone wanted pizza. They all piled into the cars and Jason's truck, but it turned out Dean's Mustang was stuck when they began leaving. The guys all got out and set to pushing.

After a few tries, Dean said, "Fuck it. Let's go get pizza, and we'll dig the 'stang out later."

So Kirk took Leslie, who seemed to have warmed up the Kirk again, Tyler, Alice and George. The little Datson was full.

Jason with Cooper beside him. Dean and Leslie squished in the cab. Leslie gave George a little wave as she got into the truck. Tommy and Rebecca sat in the box, cuddled up with a blanket.

"You fucking take it easy," Tommy told Jason

"Ya, ya don't worry. It's not far," Jason said, and they headed off for pizza. Tommy had to admit, Jason was taking it easy. Slow and steady. Rebecca was tight up against Tommy. They talked and watched the Datson following them. Tommy leaned over and kissed Rebecca.

"I'm glad you came."

"Me too. I really like you."

Tommy felt that weird heart thing then the truck lurched as if Jason had slammed on the brakes. Tommy was thinking about yelling at Jason when there was a scream from inside the cab followed by a horrible smashing sound. The truck lurched again. This time Rebecca and Tommy were flung from the truck box's back as the truck spun then rolled into the ditch.

***

Tommy pushed himself from the grass at the side of the road. He didn't know where he was. He had lost his shoe. That made him mad. He liked those shoes. There was something wrong with his left arm. It hurt, and he couldn't move it. He wanted to go home. His mom would know what to do. He started walking. He wasn't sure how long he walked till the police car found him, driving up behind him, lights flashing. Two large men climbed out of the car and walked up to him. They asked a lot of questions that he couldn't understand. He just wanted to go home. They said they would take him home, so he went with them.

***

In the days that followed, he found out what had happened. When the truck had come around a curve in the road, a deer had jumped out, Jason had braked and turned, but the deer crashed through the windshield, killing Leslie and Dean instantly. The truck hit the ditch and launched Rebecca and him into the air. Rebecca died when she hit the pavement. Her neck was broken. The truck came to rest upside down in the ditch. Jason and Cooper died, stuck in the cab. They drowned in the water in the ditch.

George had managed to get the driver's door open but couldn't reach Leslie. He kicked at the windshield but couldn't break it. He watched her through the windshield as she drowned.

***

Tommy stayed in the hospital for a few days. He had hit his head, broke his left arm and was in shock, but when the doctors said it was ok. His parents took him home. He was numb. He walked through those next few weeks in a haze. The funerals were endless. He kept thinking about Rebecca's guitar at Stoney lake getting wet. He woke in the middle of the night screaming, not sure what he was dreaming.

Then George committed suicide.

Tommy went to his funeral and thought he had had enough of funerals. He never wanted to ever go to a funeral again.

He stayed at home. He didn't play his guitar.

Kirk and Tyler came by. They talked, and Tommy listened, and they went away. Alice came a week after George died, but she just sat on his bed and sobbed for a while and left.

A couple of weeks later, Tyler came by, again. He and Tommy had never really hung out. Tyler was Dean's friend. They sat in Tommy's room and just talked. The summer was slipping by. Tyler was talking about college. He thought maybe he'd become an electrician or maybe an engineer. He wasn't sure, and somewhere in the middle of Tyler's one-sided conversation, Tommy picked up his guitar and played a lick from the opening of 'Over the hills and far away." He stopped when he realized what he was doing. He started to cry and put the guitar down. After a while, Tyler left.

But Tyler kept coming back, and Tommy started to look forward to his visits. He started to pick up the guitar again, and things seemed to be getting better.

Tyler came one day with a new, new to him car he had bought at Carson's. It was a white Toyota with a stick shift. He wasn't very good at it, but he tried. They drove to the mall and walked around. Tommy hadn't been back to the mall since the day Jason and Mary Ann broke up. He felt off. Nothing felt familiar, and yet it was.

They went to a restaurant to have a burger.

"You ok?" Tyler asked.

"Ya, I just haven't been here since it happened."

"Ya, I get it. I miss them. Jason was an ass, but I miss him,"

"Ya, he was. I miss them. "

"You got close to Kirk's cousin. What was her name?"

"Rebecca." Tommy felt he might start crying. Tyler noticed

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize. It's her you miss."

Tommy couldn't speak.

"Why don't you talk to the Judge?" Tyler's joke fell flat. And he kept talking, but Tommy wasn't hearing him. An idea was drifting in his mind.

Rumours had spun around for years that if you went to a certain crossroads at midnight, a man would come to grant your wish. Most people laughed it off as a fun legend. A scary story that you can tell around a campfire. But Tommy started to think it might be real.

Cautiously he started asking questions. One story that came up more than once was about a man some ten years ago who went to the crossroads to make a deal. It hadn't gone well, but if he was still around, he might be able to tell him something about the Judge and his deals.

A chance meeting at a gas station gave Tommy a clue. He and Tyler had stopped for gas on the north of town, and Tyler was surprised to see the mechanic was a brother of a girl he had dated.

They laughed and talked to the mechanic, his name was Dusty.

"Hey, ya wanna taste sum shine?" Dusty grinned. "It's the best ah ever tasted."

They both laughed and said sure. Dusty seemed very excited and returned with a glass jug half full of a clear liquid. Dusty had three Dixie cups, which he poured a small amount in each.

Then with as much ceremony, he could muster, Dusty said, "Bottoms up," and threw the shine back. Tommy and Tyler followed suit. They both expected a harsh throat burning gulp of fire but what they got was a warm, easy drink with flavour. It truly was amazing shine.

"Fuckin' A. This is amazing" Tyler smiled and looked at Tommy. Tommy had never tried shine before, so he had no real way of knowing the difference. He did know it tasted amazing, and he wanted more. They both held their cups for seconds. Dusty laughed and poured a small amount in each.

"This ain't cheap, and it's hard to get. The dude who brews it only does small batches, and usually, it's gone."

"Shit, man. This is fucking amazing. You got to hook me up," Tyler said.

"Ah, man. I dunno. I get it from Billy, one of Jacob's drivers. You know Billy, ya, you know him. Bill Gibbons."

Tyler thought about it then, "Yes, I remember him. Bit of a yahoo but an ok guy. Well, how can I get ahold of him?"

"Look, give me your number and next time he comes to town, I'll pass it along. If he calls, he calls,"

"Give us another sip," Tyler asked. Dusty grinned, and it looked like he wasn't going to. Then, with a chuckle, he pulled the cap off and gave them each another small sip.

"It sure is fine shit." Tommy said, "What's the guy's name that's brewing this up?"

"His name is Jacob. Story goes he sold his soul to the devil for the recipe."

Tommy perked up and said. "I would love to meet this guy"

"I doubt if that would make you happy. Not a friendly, kinda guy. Biker and scary as Shit. I met him once, and that was enough for me. Huge motherfucker with a long black beard."

"See what you can do, would you do that?"

"Ya sure ok. I'll ask, but don't get yer hopes up."

"Thanks, Dusty," Tyler and Tommy tossed their cups in the trash.

"Thanks for the taste,"

***

A couple of weeks later, Tyler called Tommy to tell him Dusty had called.

"He said he talked to Billy. Dusty was changing Billy's alternator for him, and he'll be back on Tuesday to pick it up. If we were they we could talk to him,"

"Anything about the Jacob guy?"

"Naw but Billy's got a straight line to the good stuff,"

They agreed they would have to be there to try to score some of that fine shine.

Billy turned out to be a kinda doughy kid who shuffled, rubbed his nose and kept removing his cap to push back his greasy hair. He was not much older than Tommy. He smiled and said, "Dusty says you guys are cool so, sure when the next batch comes out I could get you some. Probably next week but it's up to Jacob. He works to his schedule. "

"Any chance of meeting Jacob?"

Billy laughed, "No chance. He's a very private kinda dude," then with a grin," but if you show up at the Ol' Scratch Taven out on 11 on a Thursday night, that's wing night, you might just catch him," There was mischief in his eyes.

The next Thursday, Tyler and Tommy headed for the Ol' Scratch. They drove for an hour and a bit. They were nervous but excited. They pulled off highway 11 into a gravel parking lot. The lot was full. They rolled around and managed to squeeze the Toyota in beside a huge truck that towered above Tyler's little white car.

They walked, runners crunching on the gravel to the neon laced bar. They both chuckled at the devil holding the bikini chick that buzzed in neon above the Ol' Scratch Tavern.

From outside, the noise coming from the bar was daunting. They stepped up and opened the door just as a huge guy in leathers stumbled out. He nearly knocked them both down and never noticed them. They looked at each other, second thoughts written on their faces, but Tommy was determined.

He stepped up, pulled the door open and walked in. Tyler grabbed the door before it closed and followed.

Inside, they were met by a wall of sound. The bar was full. Beards, bellies, and ball caps for as far as they could see. They pushed through to the bar, and their mouths dropped open. The bartender was by far the best looking woman either of them had seen. She came up to them. They watched her walk over, stunned. She smiled, completely aware of her effect, "What kin I getcha?"

"Couple of beers," Tommy said

"You old enough there, hun?"

With a sign, Tommy and Tyler pulled out their driver's license and showed her. She nodded and went off and was back in a second with two beers.

"You running a tab or cashin out?"

Tyler pulled out a twenty. She took it and dropped the change on the bar top.

"Hey, you know a dude named Jacob?"

She smiled. "Ah hun, you don't want to wake that dog. He bites,"

"I need to ask him a question,"

"Hun, serious. Just leave him be,"

Tommy leaned forward, the desperation and pain on his face "I NEED to ask him a question"

She smiled sadly. "Ok hun, ok," she looked around the bar, then she pointed. "See the mountain over there? That's Brian. He's tight with Jacob. Jacob will be over there. He's the one with the huge beard in leathers. He's the only motherfucker that'd wear his Colours in here!"

Tommy looked where he pointed. The man she pointed at was truly a mountain of a man. He towered over the other men, a big grin on his face. The beer he held looked small in his hand. His laugh echoed across the bar.

"Jeeez, what the fuck is that?" Tyler asked when Tommy pointed him out.

"That's Brian. If she's telling the truth, Jacob will be with him." then a shift in the crowd and Tommy saw him. Jacob was sitting, his chair pushed back, his face shadowed by the green ball cap pulled low on his head. He had fuck off written all over him. As Tommy watched, Jacob stood and put his beer down and headed across the room. Jacob was tall and rangy. He had on an old black leather jacket and jeans, heavy boots and a denim vest over the jacket. There was a large patch on the back of the vest that Tommy had never seen before. It was a skull, but it was something else as well. It looked like it said "The Jurors."

Jacob walked with an easy swing, unhurried. He moved through the crowd, people melting out of his way.

Tommy moved without really deciding to. He pushed and ducked through the crowd and came up beside Jacob just as he was about to turn down the hall to the can.

"Jacob, I need to ask you a question,"

Jacob paused and looked at Tommy, "Fuck off," he said and turned to walk away.

"I need to ask you about the Judge."

Jacob stopped. He shook his head and turned. Then he walked toward Tommy with violent intent in his stride. He grabbed Tommy by his jacket, lifted him off his feet and walked him backward through the crowd. Men and tables were pushed out of the way. Jacob used Tommy's body like a ram. Men cursed, ready to fight then seeing it was Jacob moved back. Frank, the Ol' Scratch owner, wondered how much damage Jacob was going to do this time.

Jacob stopped when Tommy slammed against the bar. Jacob pressed into Tommy's face still holding him off the ground.

"Jacob, he just a kid." the bartender touched Jacob's arm.

Tommy could have sworn he heard Jacob growl. Then Jacob dropped him.

The entire bar was watching, sure they were going to see the little shit get a whoopin. No one fucked with Jacob unless he was looking to be put down, but instead, Jacob asked

"What the fuck do you want with the Judge?" At the sound of the Judge's name, suddenly no one wanted to hear the rest. They all turned away and busied themselves with not listening.

"I want to make a deal." Tommy stood tall and tried to look like he knew what he was saying. Jacob looked down and smiled. It was a smile with no warmth or humour.

"Then you are a fucking idiot." and he turned and walked away.

Tommy stood there. He didn't have the fight to follow or push any further. Tyler was beside him.

"Come on. Let's get out of here." Tyler pulled at Tommy's arm. Tommy let himself be led from the bar. A few people watched them leave, but none bothered them. Tommy's head was down as Tyler hurried him out the door and into the parking lot.

"Hey, just a sec" it was the beautiful bartender.

Tommy turned and looked at her. She walked down to him.

"Why you asking about the Judge?"

"I need his help."

"Well, the Judge ain't there for helping folk, but if you have a powerful need. Take 11 west for a quarter-mile, then turn south at the turn off beside the gas station. 6 miles exactly, you'll come to a crossroads. Be there before midnight and wait. He'll show." She turned and walked away. Before she went back into the bar, she turned back, "Good luck, kid."

Tommy didn't speak the whole way back to town. Tyler didn't seem to notice. He chatted excitedly about the near-miss they had just escaped. It was going to be a great story to tell.

***

A few weeks later, Tyler met Tommy in a bar near Tyler's place. They hadn't seen each other since their 'adventure' as Tyler called it. Tyler ordered a beer and burger. Tommy had a beer in front of him, but he wasn't drinking.

"I went," Tommy said.

"Went? Where?" Tyler was watching the waitress pick up a napkin she had dropped and was definitely not listening.

"To the crossroads."

"What… Wait! What?" Now he was listening, "What the fucking hell did you do that for. Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nope."

Tyler sat back, shaking his head, "Well fuck… and?"

"It's real. It's all real. He came. We talked, and I made a deal."

"Wait, you made a deal. What the fuck do you mean you made a deal?"

"Tyler, you swear too much." Tommy smiled, still looking down at the tabletop. "I sold my soul to the devil. That's who The Judge is. He is the devil. I sold my soul to the devil."

Tyler sat, not knowing what to say.

"Ok, you went to this crossroads place at midnight and what? The devil appeared with horns and a pitchfork all in red?"

"No, he drove up in a 68 GTO. He was a tall man in a fine suit."

"Ok, what did he say? What did you 'sell your soul' for?

"Well, at first he didn't want to do it, but then he said he could do it, but it would take a bit of time. He offered me a standard contract. Whatever I wanted for 6 months, 6 days and 6 hours, then I was his. Body and soul."

"Wait a fucking minute. You're serious!" Tyler leaned forward. "What did you ask for?"

"I asked him to bring Rebecca back."

"You did what?!"

"He said it would be done in a week." Tommy smiled and looked at Tyler.

"Ah, Shit, man, I thought you were serious. Yer just fucking with me.

"No, I did it. She's coming back to me.

Tyler laughed again

'Sure, sure. I hope you made sure she comes back as she was not as she is right now unless you're into maggots." he laughed, and Tommy frowned.

***

Tommy woke nearly sitting bolt upright in bed. In the dark, the alarm clock's glowing red numbers told him it was 3:36. Something had woken him. He had been having this dream. His heart was pounding. In the dream, he was being chased by what. He couldn't get it. A person. A thing. Jason had told him to run. To get the hell out of there. But his feet seemed to be wrapped in heavy wet pants. He could hardly move, and something was getting closer.

He had to piss. He flung the covers off him and rolled on to the floor. It was cold. He danced to the bathroom in the dark. The dream slipping away. His heart slowed.

When he flipped on the light, he thought he heard a sound outside. He froze. He listened. He was looking at the floor listening, then looked up and caught his reflection in the medicine cabinet and jumped. He laughed at his foolishness.

Tommy walked over to the toilet, lifted the lid and let fly.

A sound.

Tommy stopped pissing. He had heard a noise. He was sure. Cock in hand, he listened.

A sound. A scuff outside the house. He started. Something was outside, right outside the house, under the bathroom window. He stepped back, listening hard.

Another scuff like someone or something was dragging its feet as it walked around the house. Looking for a way in.

Tommy took another step back then ran to his room. Frantically he pulled his jeans on.

His parents were away for the weekend. Normally, that would be something to celebrate, but here and now it wasn't. He was alone in the house.

Carefully he crept down the hallway. Fingers lightly touching the walls so he wouldn't bump into anything and let whoever or whatever was outside know that he was here and he sure's Shit wasn't he going to turn on any lights.

Slowly he made his way to the living room. He was standing there, toes in the shag carpet straining to hear. A shadow passed the living room window slowly. The street light made a crisp shape on the living room window curtains. It was a small shape., a shape he recognized.

Suddenly Tyler's words rang in his ears, and all his fears came flooding into his mind. She was back! It was her. It was Rebecca. His Rebecca. The Judge had done it.

There was a light knock on the front door. Tommy ran to the door. He stopped. He listened.

"Tommy?" The voice was rough like a heavy smoker. "Tommy?"

He looked at the lock on the door. It was locked. There was another knock on the door, stronger this time.

"Tommy?" She coughed. It sounded deep and wet. "Tommy, let me in. I'm cold"

Tommy reached for the door.

There was a bang against the door. He stopped hand inches from the door.

"Tommy, my love. Let me in"

He took a small step backwards and lowered his hand.

"Tommy, why won't you let me in?"

There was a noise at the door he couldn't recognize. Then he did and realized it was scratching. It was fingernails clawing at the door.

"Tommy, let me in."

Tommy took another step backwards, hands at his side.

They were linked, the Judge had said, forever. For as long as they lived there were connected, locked together as one person. Tommy had given some of his life for her to come back.

Tyler's words kept running in his head.

"But you didn't ask for her to come back as she was! You just asked for her to return to you. The Judge is a very literal guy. It's his little pleasure. He gives you what you want, exactly what you ask for. She'll come back to you, sure, but she's been dead now for months. In the ground with worms. If she comes back like that…!"

Tommy stared at the door, rooted to the spot. There was a bang on the door. He jumped.

He turned and ran. His shin smashed into the edge of the coffee table. With a yelp, he crashed to the floor.

"Tommy. Let me in."

He scrambled to his feet and raced down the hall to his parent's room.

He was blinded when he flipped on the light. He rarely came in here. It wasn't off-limits, but he felt uncomfortable nonetheless.

He ran to their clothes closet and opened the door. It had a clean laundry smell. He dropped to his knees and started shoving the boxes filled with family photos aside. He knew it was here. He had seen it. It was somewhere here.

"Tommy, we can be together just like the lake. "

He found it! He sat back on his heels and pulled it out. He was surprised at its weight as he always was. He rested the shotgun on his lap. It was black and cold. He looked at it. It was the only thing he could think of. It was away, a way out.

"Tommy, What's wrong? Don't you want to be together?"

It was a way, but the gun was empty. He set the gun beside him on the carpet and started digging again. There must be a box of shells in here as well. After a minute, he had to admit there were no shells here. He remembered that his dad had said you never store shells with your gun. You always store them separately.

Tommy looked around the room. The night table, the one on his dad's side. He got up and went to the night table, and pulled open the drawer.

There were all kinds of stuff. Papers, letters, a girly magazine. But no shells for the shotgun.

"Tommy. I'm cold. Please let me in"

Where would his dad hide the shells? He stood. He walked to the closet and picked up the gun.

There was a bang on the door

Tommy jumped at the sound.

The sock drawer! That's where.

He stepped to the chest of drawers and opened the top one. It was stuffed with white pink and lace. Nope. He opened the next one. It was filled with black and dark brown. Yes! He dug around one-handed, and there it was a cardboard box. He pulled it out. It was bright yellow and had a big red 'W' on the side with 'Winchester' written in red above that. He opened it. There was only one shell left. It'll be enough. It would only take one round.

He dropped to his knees and broke the gun open. He slipped the shell in. It slid in perfectly. It was meant to be there.

He paused then he stood. He didn't hurry. He walked carrying the heavy black dangerous thing. He knew what he had to do. Knew deep down. Once it was done he'd be free.

He walked across the living room carpet and stopped

"Tommy, please. Please let me in. The Judge promised"

Tommy imagined her then not as he remembered her, a bright tanned beautiful girl with big searching eyes, but as a dark muddy half-rotten thing with dead eyes and lips pulled back in a parody of a smile. He set his jaw and reached forward. He was going to fling the door open and pull the trigger. It was that simple. Done!

"Tommy he promised we'd be together forever." Her voice was quiet now, pleading.

He stopped his hand inches from the lock.

The gun barrel dipped "Forever".

Tommy paused. The gun barrel dipped further.

A voice in his head asked, "if she's dead, how can you kill her?" And he knew the answer. He couldn't.

He stepped back. He knew what he had to do and he began to cry. He cried for himself. He cried for his mom and dad. He cried for Rebecca.

There was a loud bang on the door

"Let me in!"

He turned and walked to the couch and sat. It was the only way. No other way at all. He thought of his friends. His plans. He was getting good at the guitar. He had so much he wanted to do.

He put the but of the shotgun down on his mom's shag carpet and leaned the barrel of the gun to his chest and found he couldn't reach the trigger. His arms just weren't long enough. He cried sitting there frustrated and scared.

Bang! She hammered on the door screaming "LET ME IN!"

Tommy set the gun down beside him on the couch and slowly rose and went into the kitchen. He came back out with a broom. He sat, picked up the gun and slid the handle of the broom through the trigger guard

"Tommy. I love you. Let me in," her voice was quiet

Tommy put the but of the gun down on the carpet then pulled the barrel to his forehead, holding it with both hands. The broom handle rested against the trigger crossways to the gun. He rested his foot against it like a gas pedal.

"I love you too." He said for the first time in his life and meant it. He pushed hard with his foot as if revving his truck.