The Serial Killers Club

By Monica Hess and Steve Miller

While you’re wandering through the grocery store, deciding what to have for dinner, choosing your favorite flavor of ice cream for dessert, are you even aware of who is nearby, watching? You’re picking out the perfect ribeye steak and mocha almond, and I’m dissecting your look, your smell, your…ability to fit the profile I am seeking. I’m good at not being memorable – until I want to be. I could be the non-descript guy you won’t remember, who passed by you as your attention was elsewhere. Not even later, when my face is on the news, would you realize how close you came to my particular brand of evil. You were lucky that day. You weren’t what I was hunting. But someone else wasn’t so lucky. I found her on the cereal aisle, brown hair tied up in a ponytail, her bracelets jingling as she tried to grab the box on the top shelf. Of course I was right there, offering to help. I could tell she was a bit hesitant, but that cereal had to go into her cart, so I stepped out of the shadows and smiled.

“Do you need some assistance, miss?”

“Uh…I can’t reach the cocoa crunchies.”

“Here, let me.”

I’m tall so it was easy for me to get her what she wanted. Little did she know that she was exactly what I want. Reaching to hand her the box I accidentally brush up against her arm. She notices me then and her eyes widen. That’s the look I love! And her closeness, her smell- it was all I could do to not close my eyes and inhale deeply. Oh, this was going to feel good. But not now. Later.

I watched her walk away, not looking back. That didn’t bother me because I knew we’d meet again, when she least expected it.

I will follow you home. I will plan my nighttime visit. Do you have a family? I'm so aroused. I can't wait, the minutes feel like hours and my chest is pounding just thinking about what I’m going to do. I will tie your family up. Should I let them watch as I penetrate you or should I kill your children and husband first to allow me to take my time with you... several times? I will stab you over and over, counting each time and watching as the life leaves your body, the look of surprise wiped from your pretty face. I will keep something of yours for my little collection. I may return tomorrow night to enjoy your body once more. You will slowly decompose and by the time they find you, I'll be in the shadows again, looking for my next playmate.

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“Good evening and welcome to this meeting of Emotions Anonymous, for anyone living with anger issues. I’ll be leading the group discussion tonight. My name is Curly and I have violent tendencies.”

“Hi Curly.”

“I see we have a few new members tonight. As a reminder, this is a private group. Everything that happens here, stays here, which is why it’s called anonymous. That goes for everyone and everything that is said. We safeguard member privacy. If we find out that you have broken this rule, you won't be allowed back. Is that understood?"

"Yes Curly."

“Good. At each meeting we start with one of our slogans and then everyone has a chance to talk. You don’t have to share but remember, this only works when you’re honest. If you decide this program is for you, you can ask to be assigned a mentor.”

“Any questions so far?”

“What's a mentor?”

“Great question! A mentor is someone who can guide you along the path and will be there for you if you run into any trouble.”

“You mean like a partner?”

“Sort of. We can get into the details if you decide that’s what you want.”

“Uh, okay, thanks.”

“Okay, let’s begin.”

“Tonight’s slogan is one you have probably heard before. Please repeat after me: one day at a time.”

“One day at a time.”

“Uh, what does that mean?”

“Larry, can you tell us all what it means?”

“Sure, Curly. It means that life is made up of moments. And when the time is right, we take those moments one at a time, doing what we planned. We should focus on what’s right in front of us which will allow us the maximum enjoyment.”

“Yes, exactly right, Larry, a series of moments.”

“Now, who wants to share first?”