The Other Side

"Don't do it, Jack. Don't do it." I said to myself.

My grip on the knife handle loosened a little but my other hand was still wrapped around the neck of the other student. I sat on top of Luke Valenti, the school bully, holding him down with all my strength. I was enraged. For more than three years I have been bullied by him, had my head shoved into a toilet bowl and even got about three broken ribs. I loathe him. Now I had the upper hand. I could see the fear in his eyes as it slowly dawned on him that he was about to die. I loved it, and yet I could hear my subconscious trying to talk me out of it, that little religious part of me that my mother had brought up. I looked at his eyes turning red with tears.

Nice, I thought.

I knew I had less than a minute before he would give a 'cornered animal' struggle and overpower me, but I just sat there going back and forth with myself in my head. It was only a matter of time before the tables would turn and I would be pummeled into the ground. Luke would just have to push me off, and then I would snap back to the reality of how this isn't a movie where killing is as easy as breathing. I'm sure Luke could see how distracted I was by my own thoughts, because for a split second, he tried to reach for my face. It was at that moment that I realized I was not only fed up with Luke but also with this entire facade called life. During all the severe bullying, I had tried reporting to all the authorities I could think of, even my parents, but none of it worked, and it only made things worse. My dad kept reminding me every day of how much of a disappointment I was, that I couldn't even deal with the bullies, five of whom were bigger than me. Luke's hand was about a centimeter away from my face, and when it fell to the ground, I looked at him and noticed that I had pushed the knife into his neck. I smiled widely, showing all my teeth and drooling. I looked at him as he choked on his own blood, his wide eyes staring at me like: 'What did I do wrong?'

The audacity!

I got up, pulled the knife out slowly and took a step back. I didn't move again until I was sure he was dead. Then I stepped out of the classroom. Luckily no blood had gotten onto me so I walked past the other students and no one looked at me weird. For the first time in my life, I felt free. Luke's classmates would be coming from Physical Ed in about forty minutes and boy, were they in for the surprise of a lifetime. I went to the bathroom, washed off the knife and looked at my reflection for a while.

Now what, I thought, I guess I'm supposed to kill myself.

Then I started crying. The tears came down my cheeks like waterfalls. I just threw away my entire future because of that idiot and now my little brother won't grow up with his elder brother. I now realized how selfish I had been, how my mother who was already going through depression for being in a failing marriage was going to feel after seeing that the one person she speaks with the most is dead. I quickly ran out of the bathroom and past the security guards at the front gate. They tried to stop me but I managed to get past them. I ran home smiling through my tears because in the bathroom, I realized something. If I die with my mom and brother then we could go wherever dead people go and be together forever. I didn't me long to reach home even though it was a little far and then I noticed a police car parked out in front. As I walked across the lawn the police officer got out of the car. I reached the first step of our porch when the man spoke.

"Hey there, you are from the school nearby right? School's in session, what are you doing here?"

I took in a deep breath.

He doesn't know, he doesn't know, I had to keep on reminding myself.

"You wouldn't happen to know about what happened to a student named Luke Valenti."

Crap. Well that didn't take long.

In that moment I panicked, pulled out my knife and rushed up the stairs. Behind a gunshot rang and I felt pain sear into my thigh. But I didn't stop. I limped fast, towards the door which swung open and my mum stood in the doorway with fear on her face, probably from the gunshot. The fear changed to confusion when she saw me.

"Jack..." she said and gasped when I put the knife in the middle of her stomach.

"I love you." I whispered into her ear before pulling it out. She crumpled to the floor and I limped on into the house. My little brother stood at the top of the staircase opposite the front door.

"There you are, little bro." I said in a cheerful tone.

He looked from me, to the knife in my knife and then to our mother lying on the floor. Then he turned and ran to his room. I cussed and followed with my hurt leg. My brother was fast but not fast enough. He reached his bedroom but just as he was about to close the door, I pushed him aside. He ran to the corner of the room, crying, shaking with fear.

I smiled and slowly put the knife on his bed, trying to look as friendly as possible.

"Calm down, Jase. Mum is going to be fine, we'll even be going to see her soon. I'm doing this so we can all be happy together. No more abusive dad, no more problems of this world. Come die with me please."

Jase looked at me horrified.

"You-You're crazy."

Then he tried to run past me. I grabbed his hand and he kicked me right on my wounded leg. I hissed, picked him up into the air and slammed him into the floor. He continued to struggle.

"I am doing this for you, you piece of ..." I started and heard a loud crash downstairs. It seemed like the police officer managed to break the door. I knew I had to hurry.

I pulled a blanket off the bed and wrapped my brother in it. Then I reached for the knife and started stabbing him through the fabric. He cried and cried, struggling to the bitter end. He finally stopped moving and I stood up. I held the knife above my chest.

"We will finally have peace." I said.

And just as I was about to end it the police officer slammed himself into me. The knife cluttered across the floor to the otherside of the room and the man pinned me to the floor. Outside, the sound of police siren grew louder and louder. I was handcuffed and led away, my dad stepped into the house with shock written all over his face.

"Are you disappointed now dad, are you?" I said and laughed as they put me into the police car.

I saw my dad fall to his knees in the doorway and sob like a child, that made me laugh even more. I was sentenced to life, and I tried killing myself several times but I was always stopped. Now I just sit in my jail cell awaiting the day I can finally be reunited with my family on the other side.