The Old Woman

When I was little I would have terrifying dreams. I would dream I was at the edge of a cliff about to fall into thorns. Many times snakes would surround me and pull me to the ground, ready to consume me. I would get sucked into rivers and be pulled along unable to breathe. Monsters would chase me. Ships would sink. Every time I’d wake up an old woman would be standing at the foot of my bed. I would be paralyzed by fear until she’d fade away. She became the bringer of nightmares.

When my brother was born the dreams stopped, until we began sharing a room. The old woman came back with avengence. I had dreams that thorns were growing over his crib and we couldn’t get him out. I’d awaken to see the old woman standing over him. Her hands above him and head cocked to one side. I’d be straining to get out of my bed to get to him, but I couldn’t. I was trapped in my bed while a scary figure loomed over my baby brother. I started letting my brother sleep in my bed, but it didn’t stop the old woman. Instead she would loom over both of us. For my brother’s part, he didn’t notice a thing, I on the other hand was becoming a wreck. I couldn’t concentrate in school and was having behavior problems. The dreams became more and more frequent and the old woman began appearing during the day. I’d see her at the end of the hallway. I’d see her in doorways. She would stand behind my brother as he ate. When I’d see her, she would look at me and just grin with long yellow teeth.

When she first started appearing to me she was so faded, and over the years her image solidified. Her blank face filled in and became clear. Her clothes turned from wisps to a cloak and dress. I was convinced I was going insane, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone. Who would believe a child?

One day my parents and brother were outside on the porch. I was in the living room, about to join them, when the old woman walked into the room and stared at me. I froze. She held her finger to her lips and shuffled to the porch. She put her hands and face against the window. I heard my parents panicking. “Oh my God, he can’t breathe.” “He’s choking.” I couldn’t move. The woman was cackling. Time seemed to stop and then she faded away. I ran to the door, but my brother was breathing fine. He had choked on his snack and my dad had used the Heimlich Maneuver to save him. After that day she didn’t come back to my parent’s home. I would look for her but she never appeared in that house again.

Now I live in a home with my own family, I was relieved and thought that I had left that woman in childhood. I convinced myself that she was a figment of my imagination. That I had made her up to deal with trauma. Then I saw her. I was walking home from work and she was standing outside my door. As I approached she disappeared. I ran as fast I could into the house. My husband was on the phone with my brother. My brother had decided to join the Marines. That night I had a dream about thorns and a crib, I awoke to the woman’s face floating above my own. Frozen in fear I watched as she faded away. Now I wake up every morning to her face. She follows me to the grocery store. She stands behind me at work. She slinks down the hallways. Now, not only is she a solid looking figure, but she makes a noise when she moves. She sounds like she is dragging a lame leg. The sound sends shivers down my spine and makes hair stand on end. Sometimes I can feel her breath on the back of my neck. Until my brother is home again, she will be here. I’m done trying to figure out what she is, death or a warning of death. All I know is that she is here, and I live everyday in fear of the unknown.