The Mysterious Love

In the weary, melancholy afternoons of this busy city, I love spending some time in silence at the spot just behind the railway tracks. A patch of white grass and solitude are my companions here.

Although having a quiet companion of the same gender in such a secluded place wouldn’t be bad, I was flipping through the pages of my beloved diary with these thoughts. I was reminiscing about those golden days when I was deeply involved with multiple girls at the same time. Calling it love would be an insult to love itself—it was all just for passing time, enjoyment, and physical pleasure.

Lost in these thoughts, I suddenly sensed someone’s presence behind me. I turned around to see an incredibly beautiful girl! She looked like an apsara, not just an ordinary girl. A strange, pleasant feeling stirred within me about her! Perhaps she didn’t even notice it. In a flash, a thought crossed my mind—if only this girl were a lesbian. But then I thought, whether she is or isn’t, it doesn’t matter to me.

I quickly made a small plan in my mind and tore out a few pages from the back of my diary, leaving them nearby. I believe beautiful girls aren’t very smart, but even if she’s a bit clever, she might figure it out. After leaving the diary pages there, she looked at me and smiled. Her smile seemed to say, ‘I love you!’

A couple of days later, I saw the girl again at the same place, at the same time. Oh yes, she had read the pages I left behind. I was sure in my mind that she would read them. Now I prayed that my next assumption would be correct—please, God, let this girl be a lesbian.

Another step of my plan was about to be fulfilled! Today, before she left, she placed a colorful envelope where I had left the pages! I’m beautiful, but I’m smart too. I immediately understood that this envelope was the best one in the world, meant just for me. After a couple of minutes with my eyes closed, I took the envelope in my hand. Inside was a lovely note! In slanted handwriting, it clearly said, Hey Miss Stranger, why did you leave the torn pages of your diary here, huh? I know you’re an even crazier lesbian than I am.

I ignored the question of how she knew I was a lesbian, as the withered flowers in the alleyways of my mind started blooming again. After two lonely, empty months, I had found another essence of lesbian love. Will this desire of mine be fulfilled? Or will it end incomplete, like most lesbian loves?

I’ll think about that later! For now, I should do what needs to be done. After a restless and anxious 24 hours, that time finally arrived again. I’ve been sitting here for a long while. But to say I was just sitting would be wrong—I was waiting. Because I knew that in just a little while, that celestial apsara of beauty would arrive, whose real name I still didn’t know.

As the clock’s hands moved to the desired moment, I stood in anticipation. Not just a moment, it was an auspicious moment. The jingling sound of anklets mixed with the air created sound waves that whispered in my ears—she’s here, my beloved is here. There was no need to look back to be sure, but still, I glanced over my shoulder.

Just a moment ago, I could see my apsara. Oh, where had she been all this time! Even after being close with six girls, I had broken up with them in hopes of finding someone like her. Now I understand—she is the apsara of my heart’s kingdom, the awaited love of my life. Dressed in a blue saree, her hands full of glass bangles, anklets on her feet, a blue bindi on her forehead, and a long braid down her back, she was walking towards me with a gentle smile on her face.

Yes, another step of my desires was fulfilled. The blue apsara had come willingly to surrender. She held my hand and said she wanted to love me. She had been enchanted by me at first sight, just like I had been by her. She too had been lost in daydreams about me, just like me. I had confidence that no matter how much of an apsara she was, if she were a lesbian, she wouldn’t be able to resist me.

It feels like I’m floating on air these days. The whole day I’m at university, in classes, chatting with friends, and as soon as evening falls, I’m at the same place with Anjana, sharing romantic moments. Since I learned that my apsara’s name was Anjana, even the name has a magical effect on me. There’s no loneliness, no despair—at Anjana’s touch, all the sadness disappeared into the air.

No matter how close we get, it never seems enough. There was something about Anjana that always surprised me. She couldn’t stand crowds! Every time we met, it was in completely secluded and deserted places! Although in lesbian love, there’s no better place to celebrate intimate moments, it still amazed me. She never asked me for anything special! Just a handful of love, a few moments of conversation, and some intimate time.

That’s all her demands were. But my previous girlfriends had so many demands—they wanted to take pictures together, talk on the phone all night, and some even wanted to go shopping with me. But Anjana was very different. If I had that kind of mentality, I would have stayed with this apsara, Anjana, forever. But I know that lesbian love in this country is destined to fade away, never seeing the light of day. God has given me a desire for the female body. I walk only on the path of fulfilling that desire. I’ve never mistakenly dreamed of staying together forever like foolish lesbians do. Yet sometimes, I feel a twinge of regret thinking about how six girls had dreamed of a future with me, sought promises of walking together forever. Why don’t these fools understand that there’s no existence of lesbian love in this country? They seek love, and I seek the intoxication of the body. At sunset, they are defeated, but I wear the smile of victory.

On the twenty-first day of my relationship with Anjana, my desire began to rise. Now it seeks that intimacy. I could hardly keep myself restrained.

Just like with my previous six lovers, I told Anjana openly about my desire for her. My twenty-three pairs of chromosomes want to unite with you, goddess. Leave this solitude and take me home just once. From her body language, I understood that she might have been waiting for this! A lover always wants to possess the one they love completely. Just as I desired to be close to Anjana, she too might have wanted to have me intimately.

But I was surprised when she said that she lives alone in a house. My astonished mind kept telling me that this time, I had struck the greatest fortune. There was no longer a need to introduce my girlfriend as a 'friend' to spend the night with her, as I had to do before! Unlike before, there was no trouble this time, and the lover had handed herself over to me.

Suddenly, I was jolted back to reality by Anjana’s touch. She asked,

- What were you thinking?

- Nothing much, goddess. My thoughts revolve around nothing but you.

With a small smile, she said,

- Then, let’s meet at my place this Thursday. But the condition is that we won’t meet until then. Make sure you come on time, my beloved.

As usual, we said our goodbyes and started walking our separate ways.

Time started to pass at its own pace, and Thursday began to approach.

A strange unease about her grew within me, along with a surge of curiosity and a creeping sense of dread.

Despite everything, the long-awaited Thursday arrived, and I set out toward her home.

As I got closer to her house, I suddenly noticed that there were no stars in the sky tonight, not even a hint of the moon. Perhaps tonight is a new moon.

Once again, an unknown anxiety peeked into my heart. But I pushed it aside and, after walking for about twenty minutes, I finally arrived at her house.

It was a very well-decorated house, with light visible only from an upper room.

I realized she was waiting for me.

I slowly walked past the main door and entered.

Once again, I was astonished—how could such a big house be occupied by a girl all alone? Doesn’t she ever need anyone’s help?

Setting aside all these thoughts, I lightly touched the main door. It seemed as if the door had been waiting for me. As soon as I touched it, it opened.

The house was illuminated with beautiful lights! It felt as if I had entered a palace.

The door creaked as it closed by itself. When I called out for Anjana, I saw her descending like a princess, draped in a fairy-like aura. I felt as though I was lost in some invisible trance, enchanted by her charm.

With a gesture of her hand, she beckoned me to her, and like an innocent child, I followed her.

I entered a beautifully decorated room.

Anjana turned to face me, her lips curling into a mischievous smile. I approached her, feeling her warm breath on my neck. I once again noticed her pair of those special blue eyes and found myself lost in some unknown enchantment. Gradually, I felt my thoughts beginning to fade.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on a bed adorned with flowers. But none of the flowers were colorful! They were all black roses and hibiscus!

Anjana was sitting right next to the bed. Suddenly, she turned towards me with that same smile. She silently and slowly approached me, coming very close. Suddenly, her eyes began to glow with a blue light. Her face started to distort! Two sharp teeth appeared from her mouth, and her fingernails grew into enormous claws. A deep, guttural growl began to emit from her throat.

All I could do was silently endure what was happening. I tried in vain to scream with all my strength, but all that came out was a garbled sound.

By then, it was too late—her sharp teeth had already pierced deep into my neck. I made a futile effort to survive. I knew I wouldn’t survive, yet I made one last attempt! Suddenly, my body went lifeless.

She, too, finished her work and stood up.

My lifeless body lay there, eyes wide open. But I could observe everything that was happening.

Anjana gazed at my body with a look of ravenous hunger. Suddenly, with her enormous claws, she plunged them into my chest and pulled out my freshly deceased heart. Like a famished creature, she began to devour it. Once finished, she looked at me with a ferocious gaze! With her huge claws, she tore my body apart. My stomach and intestines spilled out. Any normal person would have vomited instantly at the sight of me!

With a flick of her eyes, she tossed me outside the house.

In the morning, a group of farmers discovered me in the garden near Anjana’s palace/house.

I noticed that I was drenched in sweat on this cold night, and then I realized she was slowly fading into the air.

I suddenly became fully conscious. I understood that I had been dreaming. Tomorrow, I was supposed to spend an intimate time with the fairy, as she had told me no one was at home.

Could something like this happen to me? Was this just a dream, or a warning meant for me?