THE MEANING

I am a recollected memory no one listens, for people I was just a common silent guy afraid of the dark, whenever I couldn't see anything with my eyes open broadly, that sudden torment made me feel blind with my power of sight constantly searching for a tiny beam of light. I would struggle with the thought of seeing the same blackness with my eyes closed or open, my throat would get dry, my hand sweaty, and a nervous stomach. When this started taking a toll on my daily life and my bloody sleep patterns, my parents got concerned and thankfully took me to Dr.Liraz. He may be in his fifties when I met him, he used to wear a calm smile and had a big black mole near his left eyes which would squish whenever he put on his spectacles. He diagnosed me with nyctophobia and often asked me questions which made me pause and thought for a moment. With every therapy session, my parents got more concerned if I ever grew out of it. The day I got my first exposure therapy session made me doubt myself if I am afraid of it, I was exposed to my unburnt room of darkness as I was told to face my fear to an extent that it no longer triggers the feeling of perturbation or anxiety.

I tried my best to run away, I threw away all the books I had in my hand and ran towards the kitchen to lock myself, I pushed the door halfway but my strength was nothing in front of my dad's. He took me in his arms and said, there is nothing more incredible in the world than fighting our fears. I screamed at the top of my lungs constantly giving the words of denial. In the end, the cat chooses to give a fight.

I entered the room shutting the door behind me, heading towards a beautiful night; I may never have again. The room had a perfect temperature, I mount over my snuggly bed, laid in the north position, closed my eyes, and opened them with a haze in my eyes; I rubbed my eyes sternly only to realize I am not completely blind anymore, it came from the ceiling, felt like my eyes are trying to show me what's beyond. 

 Hair on the back of my neck stood up. It was shapeless, empty but strong; somewhat darker than the darkness around me. I could sense it sleeping next to me, my body went cold, my brain giving constant messages to my arms to run knowing I am numb. IT CAME CLOSER TO MY MOUTH. I could hear my heartbeats in my ears but everything went calm when I heard him whisper. His voice was warm and familiar.

'Join my army if you want to be fearless and powerful', he whispered. By the time my glacial brain could process it, he took my silence as a yes and started engulfing my core, at first he took my hand, and slowly his emptiness was submerging my body within. Becoming one.

Can darkness be afraid of the dark? Here I am not.

Others are.

Three years after I departed this life, my mom and dad got me a little sister, she is cute, she laughs whenever she senses me, I wish I could play with her, however, doctor Liraz never lets me sleep next to her, HE SAYS I STILL DON'T GET THE MEANING. 

And I really don't, but I have to listen to him, he is the leader after all, but maybe one day I will bring her here.