The Goblin House

Everyone knows goblins live in rotted-out hollow logs. They eat the bugs and worms they find in the ground, and their whole reason for living is to cause trouble for anyone unfortunate enough to find them. Goblins are bad.

Robert and Brendan went to a school on the edge of town, where the woods had been cleared away for the playground and the parking lot. They had heard stories that there was a goblin who had lived in that section of woods, and when the trees were chopped down and the ground was paved, his little goblin house had been destroyed.

Now, all goblins are bad. But mad goblins are even worse. The story said the goblin had built himself a secret tunnel out of the basement of their school, and that the tunnel had dozens of little branching tunnels that were right underneath the playground so -- anytime, if he wanted to -- the goblin could reach right up through the ground and drag children into the dirt.

Goblins are used to eating bugs and worms, so a child would be a feast. A goblin could make enough meals to last him all week if he had a kid to eat. Goblins are bad.

Brendan and Robert were playing hot lava late one Thursday afternoon in July. Hot lava is a game where they pretend the ground is actually burning lava from a volcano, and they have to stay on the jungle gym, or the teeter-totter, or the slide, or the swings, otherwise their feet would burn up and they would lose the game. Hot lava was a silly, fun game because it was just pretend. Pretend things can’t hurt you.

The sky was dark and cloudy, and it looked like it could rain any moment. But it wasn’t raining yet. And Brendan and Robert were jumping all over the playground avoiding getting their feet burned up by hot lava. Then they played astronauts on the swings and they would swing as high as they could before sailing off the seat of the swing and out into the bed of woodchips that covered the playground.

Brendan was better at astronauts than Robert. He would just go flying off the swing and he didn’t care if he landed on his feet or not, he just wanted to be the longest jumper.

Robert, though, was better at hot lava. He could swing from the monkey bars to the ladder of the slide, and he could stop himself midway down the slide and leap onto the teeter-totter without ever touching the ground. That’s why, when Brendan went flying up, up, up into the air, Robert was safely seated in the center of the merry-go-round. And when Brendan landed feet first and disappeared into the ground without making a single sound, Robert was speechless, and slowly spinning, and stunned by what he’d seen.

Brendan had had the best swing ever. He got the perfect amount of momentum and let go of the chains just in time, and made a perfect arc through the air. He even had time to wave at Robert, like an astronaut outside the window of a spaceship. He Brendant his knees a little to cushion the landing, but his feet never felt like they hit solid ground. Instead, they went into the woodchips, and through a few inches of dirt, and then he felt himself land with a thud on the floor of a little tunnel.

A little goblin-size tunnel.

A little goblin-size tunnel, with a goblin in it. Staring at him.

Robert ran over to the hole in the ground, where Brendan had been. He got there just in time to see Brendan’s kicking feet disappear from sight, as Brendan was dragged through the tunnel by the goblin.

Brendan felt the goblin grab him under the arms, and it started running through the tunnel, dragging Brendan behind it. Brendan felt the rocks and roots and worms underneath him as he was pulled along in the dark.

Robert thought about going to get his mom, but was afraid she’d never believe what had happened. He had seen it happen, and even he wasn’t sure he believed it. So, instead, he stuck his head into the ground where he’d seen Brendan go and decided he needed to save his friend. Head first, and without looking back, Robert slid down into the tunnel and started crawling along in the direction he thought the goblin had gone.

Brendan realized he was no longer in the dirt, but instead he felt a cement floor underneath him. The goblin must have dragged him into some part of the school basement. He wondered where he was: near the furnace, or behind the giant boiler room, or maybe in the long maze of storage rooms? And just when he thought he’d be trapped in the dark forever, the goblin lit a small light and Brendan could see that he was inside a tiny cabin that must have been built inside one of the storage rooms -- it was a little goblin house!

Robert heard Brendan yell, and knew he was heading in the right direction. Suddenly his knees hurt because he was crawling along cement instead of dirt. Then he hit a wall. He was in total darkness, feeling the wall in front of him, trying to find a door or opening, and then he saw a tiny glow of light. He went toward it and saw, though a little window, that he was standing just out side the goblin’s house and his friend was trapped inside.

Robert whistled, quietly, hoping Brendan would hear him and realize he was there to help. Instead, though, the goblin shook his head from side to side and then ran right over to the window. The goblin hated that sound. Robert whistled again, louder.

Brendan saw what was happening and he whistled too. The goblin ran at him, teeth showing. The whistling was hurting the goblins ears.

Robert saw his chance and pushed the window open. He could just fit through it, so he slid into the goblin house. Together, he and Brendan would defeat this goblin and make the playground safe for kids to play on.

The goblin ran from Brendan to Robert and back again, as they kept whistling to distract it. Then Brendan realized he had a coach’s whistle in his pocket and he took it out as the Goblin turned back to face him. Brendan blew the whistle as hard as he could, and Robert covered his ears because the shrill, piercing sound was so loud and painful.

What happened next was completely unexpected. The goblin held its ears and squeezed its eyes shut, but Brendan blew the whistle harder and louder. Then, suddenly, the goblin’s head exploded! Goblin brains went everywhere!

Brendan and Robert ran out of the goblin house and dove into the tunnel. They could feel the tunnel caving in behind them as they raced through it. They crawled back out under the playground, and then up through the hole Brendan made when he jumped form the swing.

They got up onto solid ground just as the last few feet of tunnel closed in, and the wood chips filled up the little ditch that was left. They looked around at the playground and it looked exactly the same as it always did. But it felt different. It felt safe.

Robert and Brendan still play hot lava and astronauts. But all of their adventurers and spacemen have one thing in common: they all carry whistles.

Just in case.