The Fairest

The mirror showed a reflection that wasn’t my own.

“This is not what we agreed to. This is not what your promised!”

I scream at the monstrous image staring back at me. It’s cold, reptilian like eyes ripened with raw hate sent a glacial chill up my spine.

“I did everything you asked! Everything!”

The dark eyes narrow in, cutting deeply into my own.

“Are you not pleased? Is this not all that you wanted? All that you asked for?”

A voice as sweet as honey fills my ears. The mirrors voice.

“No! I wanted to be beautiful, irresistible. Not this! I’m hideous! I don’t even know who or what this is peering back at me.”

I scream back.

“Why it’s you dear. The real you. What you see is simply you. Who you really are. Not to worry though, you are the only one who knows the real you. Everyone else only sees what you want them to see. Only you know the truth.”

The sweet voice of the mirror replied in a condescending manner.

“How’s is this the real me? This is not what I look like.”

I demand.

“Oh, it is now my love. It is now.”

The mirror replied.

“Why? How? Why have you done this to me?”

I sob.

“Me? I have done nothing. I simply hang here on this wall. You, you have done this to yourself.”

The mirror replies in an accusatory tone.

“How? How am I to blame for this? I only did what you requested. And now you punish me?”

I plead.

“You knew the cost. I withheld nothing from you. You went in with eyes wide open.”

“How can you say that? You never told me anything about this. You said I’d be the real me, the me I was meant to be! You told me I could have anything I wanted! Anything just so long as I did all that you asked. This is not what I wanted.”

“Oh, but it is. No matter where you go or what you are doing all eyes will be on you. Astonished by your beauty. Men will fall at your feet. Women too for that matter. You will ask and they will give. Your beauty will be marked in their memory. They will never forget you. Is that not what you asked for?”

“How can you say that? Just look at me, I’m hideous!”

“Not to worry, dear. Only you see you as you truly are. The truth is our little secret. And I’ll never tell.”

“How am I supposed to live with this? I can’t stand to look upon myself.”

“Our agreement was plain and simple, you do what I ask and I shroud you with beauty beyond compare.”

“Yes, that’s exactly right. So what the hell is this I’m looking at staring back at me? Do you call this beautiful?”

“My dear, that is where your confusion lies. To shroud is to cover or hide. One cannot hide from oneself. Only from everyone else. So you see dear, I have fulfilled my promise to you. No one will ever know the monster you truly are.”

“No, I can’t live this way! I cannot bear to see this face staring back at me every time I stand before a mirror. I want to find myself beautiful as well.”

“Beauty is only skin deep my dear. Not much I can do about that. I cannot hide the depths of your unattractiveness from you. You’re fully aware of what resides beneath your exterior. Now if there’s nothing else…”

“You are not allowed to depart from me! I haven’t dismissed you! I demand that you fix this!”

“I cannot fix what I have not broken. Your actions are your own.”

“My actions! My actions were at your request! Or have you forgotten? You told me what to do and I did it! You never informed me there would be a price to pay!”

“No price my dear, just repercussions. Not to worry. No one else knows. No one else can see. Just you dear, just you.”

“But I’m ugly! I hate what I see!”

The de-silvering at the edges of the antiquated mirror began to spread rapidly, causing the image staring back at me to appear more hideous than before. Deep, dark, threatening eyes glared back at me.

“You’ve always been ugly. I saw it the moment you stared into me. Not your face. Not your outward appearance, it was your heart. Your dark, ugly heart that shown in your eyes. Someone like you would do anything for their own personal gain. We mirrors always know your kind. We see…”

“But I would have never even thought about doing the things you asked me to do. I only did them because you promised!”

“The things I asked you to do? Things you wanted to do. A mirror is nothing more than a reflection of who you are. Who you really are.”

“I will tear you from this wall and break you into a million pieces. I swear I will if you don’t fix this!”

“Foolish child! You think that I am this mirror? The mirror is but a tool. A tool to find people like you. I exist beyond it. You cannot destroy me.”

“The hell I can’t!”

I reached for the mirror, prepared to rip it from the wall and smash it against the floor. Instead, my hands disappear into a silvery pool where the glass once was. I try to withdraw but am met with great resistance. I can only describe as a vice like grip around each of my wrists. Wrists I cannot see now.

I’m jerked violently forward. I watch my arms disappear into the mirror up to my elbows. I pull back with all the strength I can muster. Suddenly I’m released, sending me reeling backwards. Crashing into the wall behind me. Breathing heavily, I gather myself up from the floor and turn back to the mirror. The reflection is gone. Just the smokey, weathered glass of an old mirror. Nothing more.

For a moment I’m relieved. Maybe it was just my imagination. Maybe all this is just my imagination. Maybe I’m a schizophrenic. Wouldn’t that be a relief. My reprieve is quickly replaced by utter disgust. The monster in the mirror stares relentlessly back at me. I bare my teeth at it and hiss. It returns my gesture. I turn and stomp away.

I run to the mirror in the bathroom, the mirror in the study, the mirror in the parlor. The monster is there in all of them! I have to get out of this house! I grab my car keys and run to my car. I turn the key in the ignition. The car roars to life. I reach up to adjust my rear-view mirror, startled by the black eyes staring back at me.

I flee from my car. Running down the long, winding road towards town. I receive cat calls and ride offers from all who pass me. I ignore them and try to keep my head down, finally making it to the small diner just outside my neighborhood. I dare not look at my reflection.

I seat myself and wait patiently for the waiter to take my order.

“Good afternoon, miss. What can I get for you?”

The waiter asks cheerfully. Our eyes meet. An audible gasp escapes his mouth. Can he see? Damn that mirror! She said only I would see.

“Wow, miss! I don’t mean to be so forward, but I just got to say… You’re beautiful! I mean really, really beautiful. Is there anything I can get you? It’s on me.”

“That won’t be necessary. I’d like a cup of hot tea to start with please.”

“You sure you won’t let me take care of it for you?”

“I’m sure, thank you.”

I divert my eyes, but I can see him staring at me as he walks away. Almost knocking over a fellow waiter as he passed by.

“Watch what you’re doing dude!”

“Sorry… I can’t take my eyes off her.”

I can hear the two of them discussing my beauty. I feel warm with self- assurance. The waiter returns shortly with my tea. He stands above me with a toothy, boy like grin.

“Thank you, sir.”

He remains, just standing there with that goofy grin spread across his goofy face.

“That will be all.”

I say sternly.

“If there’s anything else I can do, anything at all. Don’t you hesitate to ask.”

He says nervously, then continues to stand there and stare.

“I’ll be sure to do so. Now if you please…”

I motion for him to run along. Which he finally does. Now he sits with two other waiters staring in my direction as the three of them speak in hushed tones about me. I place two sugars in my tea and stir slowly until they dissolve. I blow then sip, careful not to burn myself. I stare down into the golden liquid, catching a glimpse of the reflection staring back. It’s the monster!

I drop the cup. Hot tea splashes over me. I cry out in pain. The three waiters collied against and trip one another. Each competing to come to my rescue. Each trying to dab the hot tea from my clothes with their towels. I no longer find it endearing, more like mildly irritating.

I push myself free from my adoring entourage and run out the door. All the while catching glimpses of the monster through store front windows, and windows from cars passing by. I stop at a crosswalk, awaiting the walk signal. I glance down and notice the monsters staring up at me from a puddle down by my feet. I stomp down hard on its face, sending water spewing back into my own. I run, not waiting for the light to tell me its okay to walk. I stare at my feet as I do, trying to avoid my own reflection. But it’s everywhere!

I close my eyes, unaware that I am running out into an intersection. Horns honk wildly, tires screech all around me. I am stopped suddenly, abruptly, mercilessly. My body thrown into the air. For a moment I feel free as if I’m flying. My freedom comes to a staggeringly violent stop. Ending in the middle of a busy intersection. My throbbing cheek lays heavily against the cold, hard concrete. I feel the warmth of my blood spilling out underneath me. I lift my head just enough to stare down into the crimson pool, catching my reflection as I do. The monster snarls back at me. I close my eyes and release my breath. The mirror showed a reflection that wasn’t my own.

“This is not what we agreed to. This is not what you promised!”

I scream at the monstrous image staring back at me. It’s cold, reptilian like eyes ripened with raw hate sent a glacial chill up my spine.

“I did everything you asked! Everything!”

The dark eyes narrow in, cutting deeply into my own.

“Are you not pleased? Is this not all that you wanted? All that you asked for?”

A voice as sweet as honey fills my ears. The mirrors voice.

“No! I wanted to be beautiful, irresistible. Not this! I’m hideous! I don’t even know who or what this is peering back at me.”

I scream back.

“Why it’s you dear. The real you. What you see is simply you. Who you really are. Not to worry though, you are the only one who knows the real you. Everyone else only sees what you want them to see. Only you know the truth.”

The sweet voice of the mirror replied in a condescending manner.

“How’s is this the real me? This is not what I look like.”

I demand.

“Oh, it is now my love. It is now.”

The mirror replied.

“Why? How? Why have you done this to me?”

I sob.

“Me? I have done nothing. I simply hang here on this wall. You, you have done this to yourself.”

The mirror replies in an accusatory tone.

“How? How am I to blame for this? I only did what you requested. And now you punish me?”

I plead.

“You knew the cost. I withheld nothing from you. You went in with eyes wide open.”

“How can you say that? You never told me anything about this. You said I’d be the real me, the me I was meant to be! You told me I could have anything I wanted! Anything just so long as I did all that you asked. This is not what I wanted.”

“Oh, but it is. No matter where you go or what you are doing all eyes will be on you. Astonished by your beauty. Men will fall at your feet. Women too for that matter. You will ask and they will give. Your beauty will be marked in their memory. They will never forget you. Is that not what you asked for?”

“How can you say that? Just look at me, I’m hideous!”

“Not to worry, dear. Only you see you as you truly are. The truth is our little secret. And I’ll never tell.”

“How am I supposed to live with this? I can’t stand to look upon myself.”

“Our agreement was plain and simple, you do what I ask and I shroud you with beauty beyond compare.”

“Yes, that’s exactly right. So what the hell is this I’m looking at staring back at me? Do you call this beautiful?”

“My dear, that is where your confusion lies. To shroud is to cover or hide. One cannot hide from oneself. Only from everyone else. So you see dear, I have fulfilled my promise to you. No one will ever know the monster you truly are.”

“No, I can’t live this way! I cannot bear to see this face staring back at me every time I stand before a mirror. I want to find myself beautiful as well.”

“Beauty is only skin deep my dear. Not much I can do about that. I cannot hide the depths of your unattractiveness from you. You’re fully aware of what resides beneath your exterior. Now if there’s nothing else…”

“You are not allowed to depart from me! I haven’t dismissed you! I demand that you fix this!”

“I cannot fix what I have not broken. Your actions are your own.”

“My actions! My actions were at your request! Or have you forgotten? You told me what to do and I did it! You never informed me there would be a price to pay!”

“No price my dear, just repercussions. Not to worry. No one else knows. No one else can see. Just you dear, just you.”

“But I’m ugly! I hate what I see!”

The de-silvering at the edges of the antiquated mirror began to spread rapidly, causing the image staring back at me to appear more hideous than before. Deep, dark, threatening eyes glared back at me.

“You’ve always been ugly. I saw it the moment you stared into me. Not your face. Not your outward appearance, it was your heart. Your dark, ugly heart that shown in your eyes. Someone like you would do anything for their own personal gain. We mirrors always know your kind. We see…”

“But I would have never even thought about doing the things you asked me to do. I only did them because you promised!”

“The things I asked you to do? Things you wanted to do. A mirror is nothing more than a reflection of who you are. Who you really are.”

“I will tear you from this wall and break you into a million pieces. I swear I will if you don’t fix this!”

“Foolish child! You think that I am this mirror? The mirror is but a tool. A tool to find people like you. I exist beyond it. You cannot destroy me.”

“The hell I can’t!”

I reached for the mirror, prepared to rip it from the wall and smash it against the floor. Instead, my hands disappear into a silvery pool where the glass once was. I try to withdraw but am met with great resistance. I can only describe as a vice like grip around each of my wrists. Wrists I cannot see now.

I’m jerked violently forward. I watch my arms disappear into the mirror up to my elbows. I pull back with all the strength I can muster. Suddenly I’m released, sending me reeling backwards. Crashing into the wall behind me. Breathing heavily, I gather myself up from the floor and turn back to the mirror. The reflection is gone. Just the smokey, weathered glass of an old mirror. Nothing more.

For a moment I’m relieved. Maybe it was just my imagination. Maybe all this is just my imagination. Maybe I’m a schizophrenic. Wouldn’t that be a relief. My reprieve is quickly replaced by utter disgust. The monster in the mirror stares relentlessly back at me. I bare my teeth at it and hiss. It returns my gesture. I turn and stomp away.

I run to the mirror in the bathroom, the mirror in the study, the mirror in the parlor. The monster is there in all of them! I have to get out of this house! I grab my car keys and run to my car. I turn the key in the ignition. The car roars to life. I reach up to adjust my rear-view mirror, startled by the black eyes staring back at me.

I flee from my car. Running down the long, winding road towards town. I receive cat calls and ride offers from all who pass me. I ignore them and try to keep my head down, finally making it to the small diner just outside my neighborhood. I dare not look at my reflection.

I seat myself and wait patiently for the waiter to take my order.

“Good afternoon, miss. What can I get for you?”

The waiter asks cheerfully. Our eyes meet. An audible gasp escapes his mouth. Can he see? Damn that mirror! She said only I would see.

“Wow, miss! I don’t mean to be so forward, but I just got to say… You’re beautiful! I mean really, really beautiful. Is there anything I can get you? It’s on me.”

“That won’t be necessary. I’d like a cup of hot tea to start with please.”

“You sure you won’t let me take care of it for you?”

“I’m sure, thank you.”

I divert my eyes, but I can see him staring at me as he walks away. Almost knocking over a fellow waiter as he passed by.

“Watch what you’re doing dude!”

“Sorry… I can’t take my eyes off her.”

I can hear the two of them discussing my beauty. I feel warm with self- assurance. The waiter returns shortly with my tea. He stands above me with a toothy, boy like grin.

“Thank you, sir.”

He remains, just standing there with that goofy grin spread across his goofy face.

“That will be all.”

I say sternly.

“If there’s anything else I can do, anything at all. Don’t you hesitate to ask.”

He says nervously, then continues to stand there and stare.

“I’ll be sure to do so. Now if you please…”

I motion for him to run along. Which he finally does. Now he sits with two other waiters staring in my direction as the three of them speak in hushed tones about me. I place two sugars in my tea and stir slowly until they dissolve. I blow then sip, careful not to burn myself. I stare down into the golden liquid, catching a glimpse of the reflection staring back. It’s the monster!

I drop the cup. Hot tea splashes over me. I cry out in pain. The three waiters collied against and trip one another. Each competing to come to my rescue. Each trying to dab the hot tea from my clothes with their towels. I no longer find it endearing, more like mildly irritating.

I push myself free from my adoring entourage and run out the door. All the while catching glimpses of the monster through store front windows, and windows from cars passing by. I stop at a crosswalk, awaiting the walk signal. I glance down and notice the monsters staring up at me from a puddle down by my feet. I stomp down hard on its face, sending water spewing back into my own. I run, not waiting for the light to tell me its okay to walk. I stare at my feet as I do, trying to avoid my own reflection. But it’s everywhere!

I close my eyes, unaware that I am running out into an intersection. Horns honk wildly, tires screech all around me. I am stopped suddenly, abruptly, mercilessly. My body thrown into the air. For a moment I feel free as if I’m flying. My freedom comes to a staggeringly violent stop. Ending in the middle of a busy intersection. My throbbing cheek lays heavily against the cold, hard concrete. I feel the warmth of my blood spilling out underneath me. I lift my head just enough to stare down into the crimson pool, catching my reflection as I do. The monster snarls back at me. I close my eyes and release my breath.