The Claw Machine

She was passed out with a little black book beside her, when little Joseph decided to run away from home that day and go to the carnival. He tugged and tugged on mom's arms but nothing would wake her. Nothing at all.
Feeling the anger in him well up he stomped and growled and said mother from a low aching voice that ached within his belly. Mother had been tired for days and she promised him they would go today because it was the last day and if they didn't go today the carnival wouldn't come back for a whole nother year!

"MOM!" Why wouldn't she just get up? He kicked the beige sofa with his bare foot immediately feeling his foot radiating with an aching pain. "Darnit Martha!" Little Joseph mimicked his father, who had now been gone for thirteen days. The water had been off for one week and the lights had been off for two not that anybody was counting little Joseph would overhear his mom tell his aunt Lucinda.
It was July and the big room was hot. Joseph shook his head. He wished something, anything was back to the way it was. He wanted his dad back. His mom didn't seem like she was there either. He wanted to eat something besides noodles. Nothing seemed fair right now.
He spied some crumpled up dollar bills under the sofa where his mom was still sleeping, a few quarters too. Joseph wasn't really mad at his mom; he just wanted to get out of the house. He knew the way. He could go come back and she probably wouldn't even wake up by then.

Joseph fastened the velcro on his sneakers, pet the calico cat he named Anna when he was four and told his mom he would be back soon, after stuffing the crumpled money into his pockets.
The new found freedom was equal parts scary and exciting. He felt bad and worried a little that his mom would mad if she realized he was gone but lately she was sleeping all the time. The fresh air felt good on his skin and he liked the way the birds sounded when they talked to each other and the way the grass smelled when it was shiney with a little rain.
A couple of girls from his class were drawing pictures on the road a few houses down and invited Joseph to come join them. "No, I'm sorry, I'm going to the carnival, you guys wanna come?"
The little girls looked sad, "no, sorry we aren't allowed by ourselves," the louder of the two girls spoke up, "have fun though I guess." They shrugged and watched Joseph jealously as he continued down the road to his destination.
Joseph liked how that felt a little, that must be what it's like to be a grown up. Just go to carnivals whenever you want he thought, don't have to ask anybody either. Man, he felt cool, he thought.
A loud red car with a horse picture on the back sped by him and made him jump a little. He hoped no one thought he was scared because he wasn't. He liked how that car looked too he thought, the happy carnival music was beginning to creep into little Joseph's ears causing him to walk a little faster. He was getting close. He gulped as he imagined gobs of sweet sticky cotton candy melting in his mouth and chasing it down with cold bubbly soda. His mom would never let him have cotton candy and soda, he was only ever allowed one sugar thing.
The sky began to darken as young Joseph approached the street light where he would have to cross a busy street all by himself. He knew how to do it but he was still nervous to do it without his mother there. His hands felt a little cold and sweaty all of a sudden for some reason as he got closer to the light.
Step one press the little silver walking button. Step two: wait for the walking man. When the walking man appeared, looking back and forth before crossing then,’ hurry up’, his mom would say, thirty seconds isn't a long time when you have little legs.
Faster than he expected the little walking man appeared on the other side of the street. Little Joseph looked both ways and then when he was sure it was safe he ran as quickly as he could. When he made it to the other side he was very happy he had crossed the right way. His mom would be happy. He did feel like all the grown ups in their cars were watching him and knew he was a bad little boy who had run away. He wondered if any of them knew him and would call his mom. He remembered the phone was shut off though because it wasn't paid so he worried a little less.
Joseph stopped worrying about grown ups and the hot house and his dad and his sleeping mom because there it was the carnival at last.. The loud creaking noises of the rides as they rocked back and forth packed with screaming kids. The music, even Christmas music didn't sound that happy, the carnival made Joseph feel like he was on a new planet where everything was happy, exciting and sweet.
He didn't have much money and looked around and everything was almost too exciting. He didn't really know where to start first. For a moment he wished for his mother, it was fun feeling like a grownup but his mother was fun and she was pretty when she smiled and she could even make things like carnivals more fun than they already were. Oh well little Joseph thought to himself nothing to do about that now.
Somewhere near him a man was laughing loudly. It reminded him of when his dad's friends came over to play cards and they all laughed all night too loud and it was always hard for him to go to sleep when they were always laughing that hard.
Joseph looked up, cotton candy was three dollars. He twisted his lips to the side. That was almost all of his money and he really wanted to play Curious Charlie's Crazy Cash Claw Machine! His mom always said it was a racket, whatever that was but Joseph had a feeling that he would win one time.
He walked through the popcorn and cotton candy scented wilderness of the carnival jungle and made it to the claw machine. There it stood in all of its glory. Money everywhere! Lights everywhere! All ready to be grabbed by that little robot arm all ready to be grabbed by him.
This machine was never busy. Everyone thought it was a scam. But it was fun to look at Joseph stood mesmerized. He unruffled one dollar and fed it to the collapse machine that made a dinosaur-like prehistoric screech as it swallowed. The claw awoke abruptly and Joseph wiped the sweat off his hand to get a better grip on the joystick. He saw it there a little mountain in the bottom right corner of bills and plastic balls filled with wads of cash, that was the target.
Smoothly, with the precision of a sniper he guided that claw over and across to his target dropping that claw down at the exact time necessary and then…. "Oh man, oh man, oh man!" The claw returned to the drop box and delivered a pile of cash and prize plastic balls and Joseph had never been so excited! They were gonna be rich!! He stuffed the bills in his pockets and fed yet another bill to the machine.
The machine responded yet again with another dinosaur like screech and yet again Joseph was jumping up and down again! Soon a crowd was gathered around him like Vegas at the roulette tables. No one could believe how much money this kid was winning. The kid was so lucky it must be a glitch or something. Someone was gonna get fired tomorrow, people kept joking.
"Hey kid!" What are you gonna get with all that money?" Someone asked?
"I'm gonna get some cotton candy!" Joseph said giddy with joy.
The people were getting pretty loud around him though, and he was starting to get that feeling like you get on the merry go round where it won't stop and you want to get off. "Well, ok guys I gotta go wake up my mom now." He turned to leave.
He had so much money it was hard to hold it all, a lady came up to him with some plastic grocery bags, "here hun, be careful ok."
"Thanks Lady" Joseph said, she looked sad at him for some reason but he wasn't sure why he felt great, he just won all that money!
On his way out of the park he stopped at the cotton candy booth and bought one, then two bags of cotton candy (one for his mom.)
Someone tapped on his shoulder, he turned around. Joseph's eyes got big, it was a police officer. "I won the money fair and square, it's mine, everyone was there they saw!."
"It's not that young man, it's just that… Do you have a parent or guardian here with you?" The officer looked about ten feet tall to little Joseph, his dad wasn't that tall. Joseph didn't want to go to jail, he didn't think he was old enough but he wasn't sure.
"No sir," Joseph looked down, he wondered if you could eat cotton candy on the way to jail. The tall policeman said something on his radio and someone said something else.
"It's very late, young man, we're going to bring you home if that's ok? It's not safe for you to walk home with all that money."
It was not very nice inside the police car. In fact it was the worst car little Joseph had ever been in in his whole life but Joseph didn't say that, he was happy to have a ride home. He was scared someone might try to snatch his money the way bullies snatched kids' lunch money on TV.
When they arrived at little Joseph's home the officer walked him to the door. Joseph didn't like it because it still made him feel like he was in trouble. He shined a light on the door and Joseph knocked on the door. No answer. He shrugged. My mom's asleep, he said and opened the door.
"Mom! I'm home!" Little Joseph said, "I got you cotton candy!"
"The police man shined a light on Martha and asked Joseph to wait outside.
He counted up all of the money, it was a lot. Little Joseph had like twenty thousand dollars. The officer came out to Joseph holding mom's little black book and he opened it.
Inside was a detailed sketch of him at the claw machine, all of the people around him winning money… as he flipped pages he saw other things that would come true… he would confide in his father later in life and eventually his wife. No one could agree if these were premonitions or if these were the will of Martha Ruiz. Maybe both?

Martha Ruiz 1968-1996