Swipe Right For Horror

My friend Neve told me that I should take my hits like everyone else and get online to look for my Prince Charming. Kiss all of the frogs that I needed to find him. I am not even the self-deprecating or defeating type, but it just figured that I would drag myself screaming and kicking to my phone to open up a dating app. Neve, who was very self-deprecating and defeatist, did not have any tolerance for my romantic notions that you could still meet the love of your life in person.

I was lonely and missed being with someone, so I set up an account after opening a wine bottle. Neve had been kind to take a few pictures of me that I used and tried as much as I could to answer the icebreaker questions cleverly. I was surprised when I immediately started to get people liking my profile. There were a few guys who it did not matter if I met in person or online I would be willing to go out with them.

Maybe because I was not that invested, but I made dates with almost every guy who asked me out. Why not?

Win was very good-looking. It alarmed me how good-looking he was, but I took the date with him. As soon as we got to the very fancy, exclusive wine bar he wanted us to go to, the ambiance did not help frame him any better than he was. A guy who talked so much about himself and barely asked me any questions about myself. He was interesting, and did I already note alarmingly attractive? I was willing to go home with him just to ease the ache of not having been with anyone for a long time.

“Do you want to go to Starter’s Lake?” He asked casually as he poured some more of the very expensive Bordeaux he had gotten for us.

I had to close my mouth from shock because everyone knew why you went to Starter’s Lake. To start something with someone, to have a hookup.

“Sure,” I found myself saying as I took another spoon of the very rich chocolate pot de creme that we were sharing. Win only had a few bites, it was small, and he was a gentleman.

He smiled at me winningly. I smirked to myself because I was pretty sure Win was used to winning.

I finished the pot de creme, and he did not rush me. He took my hand when I got up, and we drove to Starter’s Lake. It was so beautiful when we got there. Guys had taken me there before. Some guys started before we even got out of the car to try to hook up. But Win seemed to truly want to look at the lake with his arm around me for a bit. I looked up at him, and as soon as our faces got close enough to kiss, I heard the troubled water. A man came out of the lake with a scuba mask. It was so non sequitur we were both startled. When he started to come after us, Win took my hand, and we ran as fast as possible with the Scuba Mask with fins coming after us. He looked like he was from The Shape of Water, but I was not going to fall in love, and there was no way that I wanted to know anything more about him.

We ran to a spot that we thought was safe. I looked at Win, panting heavily.

“Do you think we are safe?”

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my temple. That was when I heard the fins coming toward us. Win raised a webbed hand at me and puckered his lips.

“We are safe from any interruptions, my dear,” he smiled wanly.

I laughed. Win and the Scuba Mask looked at each other.

I had swiped right for love, just figured I would find this horror. That I would go to Starter’s Lake, and it would be the start of something ominous.