Sweetie Boy

As Tinder dates go it wasn’t bad. He paid for the drinks and made the appropriate small talk. He joked about traffic and raised his concern over growing economic inequality. Then he tried to convince her that he knew where to get the best tacos in the city. He seemed nice. He was a standard looking white guy, brown eyes, blond hair, a hint of stubble on his chin. Nora liked him enough for a hook up, but not enough for tacos.

Outside the bar the air smelled like wet leaves. She was tipsy, but not drunk. He seemed a bit nervous when he brought her up to her fourth floor apartment. They kissed in front of her door, calmly at first, giving the impression of goodbye. Then Nora leaned in, testing the water. He responded, wrapping his hand around her waist and pulling her even closer. She liked it. “Let’s go inside,” she said, “But you have to be quiet.”

Nora took off her shoes at the door and he followed her example. She took his hand and padded across the hall, trailing him behind her through the dark apartment. They each took their clothes off then eased onto the bed together. The sex was awkward, but it got the job done. Nora felt bad for continually shushing him, but she couldn’t risk waking up her “roommate.”

The next morning when she woke up to the sound of her alarm he was gone. She was relieved they didn’t have to have an awkward breakfast conversation. It was Friday and she still had to get to work in spite of her extra curricular activities. Nora pulled open the blinds, then pulled the sheet off of the large birdcage that took up about a third of the living room. “Good morning, Sweetie Boy,” she cooed. The grey parrot stretched its wings and shuffled its feet on the long wooden perch. “Good morning, Sweetie Boy,” the bird echoed. It was a stupid pet name, but the first thing that came to mind when she brought him home three years ago. After he repeated it, the name just stuck.

Nora cleaned the cage and prepared breakfast with Sweetie Boy perched on her shoulder. Chopped kale and carrots for him. Toast and coffee for her. She let him roam while she showered and got dressed. Sweetie Boy was spoiled but well trained. He’d get into occasional mischief, like removing bookmarks or spilling drinks. But at least she didn’t have to worry about him pooping anywhere but his litter tray.

She noticed the time. “Oh, shit!”

“Oh, shit!,” Sweetie Boy repeated. She’d said it enough without thinking, that it had become part of his vocabulary.

“Alright, back in the cage, potty mouth.” She kissed him on the head and returned him to his perch. “I’ll see you soon.” This was their routine.

Work was a struggle, another meeting that could have been an email. Nora left early to pick up her refill prescription and couldn’t resist another parrot toy that looked like a little shish kabob. As soon as she got home she let the bird out of his cage and warmed some leftovers.

Back when she was diagnosed, the doctor told her that pets were good for people with anxiety and depression. Since she was allergic to cats and dogs, a bird seemed the most logical choice. She had to admit, he made her feel less alone.

Although it was on the list of things she planned to stop doing, she ate her dinner in bed. The heat from her laptop was making her thighs sweat, but she wasn’t ready to go to sleep. Not yet. Her chat started blinking. It was a name she didn’t recognize right away then she remembered her date. ‘How’s it going?...Would you like to meet again?...A real date this time?’

Nora took a deep breath. What was she going to tell this guy? This was one of the things she’d practiced. ‘Just be honest.’ She remembered the doctor’s words.

‘Hey, sorry. I had fun the other night, but I’m not up for another date. Have a good night.’

‘I understand,’ he replied, followed by an ‘LOL’ and a smile emoji. There was nothing after that. She exhaled, closed her laptop, put Sweetie Boy back in his cage, and went to sleep.

Nora began having trouble staying focused. She couldn’t explain how, but everything was just “off.” At one point she pulled in to work and could not get out of the car. It was like an anxiety attack, but different somehow. She was lightheaded and there were shadows in the corners of her eyes. It was an important day at work, so she managed to push through.

The next morning she examined her medicine before taking it. The pills were still orange, but maybe a shade paler than before. It occurred to her that maybe they had made some mistake at the pharmacy. She called just to rule that out.

“Hi, yeah I got my refill last week and my pills look a little different. I just want to make sure-”

The pharmacist cut her off “Ten milligrams of Bupropion? Yeah, that’s a generic. Different manufacturers just make the pills look different. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks.”

Without any answers, Nora started ruminating. What could have caused such a dramatic shift in her mood? Could it be the stress from work? She was working hard, losing sleep, and her appetite had all but disappeared. Sweetie Boy chirped from his cage. “Oh, Sweetie. I’m sorry, I forgot to let you out!” She unlatched the door and held out her finger for him to perch.

“Bitch.”

“What?”

She must have imagined it. Sweetie Boy had a colorful vocabulary, but ‘bitch’ wasn’t part of it…As far as she could remember.

“What did you say, Sweetie?”

“Good boy, Sweetie,” he chirped and hopped in response.

She stroked his feathers. “Yeah, Sweetie’s a good boy.”

The doctor was sympathetic, but didn’t see it as anything to be concerned about. “Slow down, remember your relaxation techniques.”

“Maybe I need to try a different dose or switch meds.”

“No, let’s wait and see how this one works out first. You have to give it a chance.”

She left feeling diminished and riddled with self doubt. She called her friend Shannon to see if she had any ideas. But when she answered the phone, Nora lost her nerve. “What’s wrong, honey? I can hear it in your voice.”

“Oh, nothing. I just wanted to say, hi. Check in, see what you’ve been up to.”

“I’m coming over.”

Twenty minutes later, Shannon was sitting on Nora’s couch, pouring two big glasses of wine.

“Now will you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I’ve just been feeling weird lately and Sweetie Boy-“

“Ah, the bird. You know I love you, but I’m not a bird person. I don’t trust them.” She looked over at him skeptically.

“Maybe you two just need to break the ice…Here.” Nora put down her wine, and drew the parrot out of his cage, but he struggled out of her grasp. He took off, screeching and squawking all around the room. Shannon screamed. Clearly agitated, the bird landed on top of Shannon’s head, pecking and clawing until Nora was able to pry him off and throw him back into his cage.

Shannon cried and Nora panicked. “I’m sorry! He’s never done anything like that before!”

Shannon looked up. A small bead of blood appeared along her hairline.

“You’re bleeding. Let me help you.”

“No, I think I should just go.”

Nora felt even more anxious now and with no one left to talk to. No one except for Sweetie boy. There he was, calmly grooming his feathers just moments after the scuffle. What could have gotten into him? He had been refusing treats lately and molting a few feathers here and there. An animal can’t be held accountable for their actions. Can they? The bird looked at her, weaving his head from side to side. “Bad boy. I’m giving you a time out!” She slipped the sheet over the cage and went to her room.

She opened her laptop to relax online. Then she heard a noise. It was a bell, one of the toys inside the birdcage. He usually didn’t bother with that one, but the noise started getting louder, more vigorous. She charged out of the room, tore the sheet off the cage and removed the toy with the bell. “There, now I’m taking this away.”

“Bitch.”

Nora went from angry to frightened and doubting her own sanity. She threw the sheet back on and headed back to her room. There was a new sound, a metal tapping. The bird must have been pecking at the cage bars. Nora turned slowly back towards the cage.

“Bitch. I’m fucking with you. Bitch,” The bird screeched, flapping wildly. Nora stood there frozen, heart racing, palms sweating. The world seemed so small. It was just her and her little ruffled tormentor. Before she knew it her hands were on the door latch, her arm reached inside and scrambled until she caught him. “Bitch! Bitch!,” he squawked. Nora’s grip only got tighter. “Good boy, Sweetie,” he cooed one last time. His little neck snapped in her hands. His head was limp and horizontal next to her thumb where she had squeezed.

Nora screamed, realizing what she had just done. She instinctively opened her hand. The body tumbled to the bottom of the cage, landing with a soft thud. Nora fell back into the couch and began to cry. She folded herself up, burying her face in the cushions.

Then she heard something…It was the same rhythmic tapping against the cage bars. Impossible. Just her mind playing tricks on her again. She bravely looked up.

It was him - brown eyes, blond hair, stubble on his chin. He was wearing leather gloves, but had taken one off, using his fingernail to tap on the cage.

“These birds are so intelligent. It’s amazing what you can teach them. And loyal! Poor thing tried to warn you.”

“You’ve been-“

“In your apartment, yes. Making myself at home. Interesting medicine cabinet you have.”

“What have I been taking?”

“Just a mild amphetamine.”

“Why?”

“Why?,” he mocked her. “I was nice to you. We had a good time. I asked you on a real date and you fucking shut me down. You are supposed to give these things a chance!”

“What are you going to-“

“Oh, I think we both know what happens next,” he said, putting on his other glove.