Side Effects

The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window. The single candle stood out like a beacon of hope and safety. Jay stood looking. The cabin, with it’s candle of safety and hope, looked so far, far away. “Too far” echoed through her mind. Her shoulders slumped. “But it looks familiar” she thought, familiar in a strange kind of way. The term ‘oddly comforting’ sprang to mind.

It was dark and it was cold. Rain had fallen recently, and the ground was a sea of mud. It was hard to see the rise and fall of the land before her. She peered into the dark, using the dying light from her torch as best she could. Shivering as an icy wind wound around her neck like a cold scarf, and remembered that she had started this journey wearing a warm jacket, but now it was gone. “Did I take it off?” “Where did I leave it?” she couldn’t remember, and that really bugged her because she usually had such a good memory.

She was absolutely sure that she just wouldn’t take off a warm jacket and leave it someplace unknown when she was out in the cold and wet. But then “Who knows” she thought to herself, “Can’t stay out here.” and she started the long walk towards the cabin. The muddy ground was slippery, so she placed her feet carefully. “God, the last thing I need is to fall down out here.” she murmured to herself, as she navigated a small slippery slope.

The slippery slope led to a long gravel driveway that was lined with trees. It started to rain again, a sort of misty rain, that floated rather than fell. Jay looked up through the mist towards the cabin and realised that it was a familiar place to her. It looked like the cabin that her folks had holidayed in when she was a kid. “Wow, I must have walked a fair way to get here!” she thought.

The feeling of familiarity returned, as she walked, Jay remembered the fun days that they had stayed in a cabin. Taking time to walk, cook, play games and, generally just hang out together. “Weird family” passed through her mind, “spending time together like that.” A smile crossed her face, the memories chased around in her head as the rain changed from mist to heavy droplets which plastered her shirt to her body.

And then she was there. On the porch, as if transported by an invisible taxi, and then pushed out and propelled forwards. Drawn towards the cabin as if it was pulling her in. Standing at the front door with the wind at her back, she had a feeling of coming home. She looked down and yes, there was the old door mat with it’s tree of life picture. Her hand found the door handle. Opening the door a warm light shone through, and the feeling of coming home became greater.

She didn’t remember the coldness, the rain, losing her jacket, and the hours of walking in the dark. That all fell from her mind, replaced with the warmth and welcome of the cabin. Turning her head, she saw the candle still burning in the window, and smiled as she stepped through the door and into the hall.

A gust of wind followed her through making her shiver. She felt something press her left shoulder as it passed. Like when someone is walking behind you and in their eagerness to get ahead they take up more space than they should and to get past you they put their hand on your shoulder and casually shove you to one side, but ever so slightly. That was the feeling. Jay turned her head and looked over her left shoulder, “Is someone there?” she shouted. Nothing, there was nothing. There was no-one behind her, no hand on her shoulder, just a damp shirt. She looked forwards.

“What the ………” she thought as she stared down a well-lit corridor with blue curtains on one side and a white wall on the other. “It looks like a hospital” she thought, as she stepped forwards suddenly feeling a little less warm and not as certain about where she was. “Must be a mistake”, and with that thought she turned around to leave, but the cabin door had disappeared.

In it’s place was the same long corridor with blue curtains on one side and a white wall on the other. She turned back around and stood with her hand to her mouth wondering what she should do. “Gotta get out” she thought to herself, as she made a second, third and fourth step into the corridor.

Before she knew it, she had lost count of the number of steps that she had made, as she walked down the corridor. The blue curtains were still there and the white wall, but now they looked all kind of curved and weird. She kept walking. “There has to be a way out”, and she walked and walked and walked.

As she walked, she thought that, if she was in a hospital, “Well then, someone else has to be here too”. So she walked. Having walked for what felt like another half hour or so, she still hadn’t passed or met anyone else. She looked to her right and realised that the white wall was exactly that – a wall – no service doors or other points of entry. No signs either. “Odd”, she considered, having spent a lot of time in hospital recently, Jay knew that hospital wards had signs, lots of them. Signs that advised ‘Exit here', ‘Enter here', ‘Staff only’ and ‘No sharps’, but there were no signs, no doors, no people, just clean white walls, a white floor and endless blue curtains.

The thought crossed her mind that she had mistakenly entered some kind of government installation, like a research centre or something. “Where’s the security guards?”

As she moved down the corridor, she became increasingly aware of a feeling. At first it was a kind of hopeful alertness, which declined into a feeling of hopeless dread. There didn’t seem to be anyway out, just the corridor before her, and when she turned around, well, the corridor was also behind. Nothing changed. Blue curtains and white walls.

As she walked past a section of curtains, she felt a slight puff of wind, or wait, was it a breath…………… “Is someone there”?

Jay stopped. Yes, there it was again. The curtains had moved, and she heard an exhale. The feeling of dread returned and washed over her like a wave. She exhaled, and she thought she heard someone on the other side of the curtains inhale. As she watched, the bottom of the curtain wafted back slightly, as if someone had given it a light tug.

She watched the base of the curtain and saw that it wafted back out again, as if exhaled. “Who’s there?” she said, but no words came out of her mouth. Silently repeating herself, she stepped towards the curtains. She felt compelled to move towards them. Every time the someone or something on the other side of the curtains inhaled she was drawn closer, the action of inward breath drew her in. She waited for the exhale. But it did not come. Another inhale and she was drawn closer. “I don’t want to go in there” Jay tried to take a step back, resist, but something held her in place and she realised that despite that she wanted to turn and run, she was left with only one choice and that was forward.

With a mounting feeling of fear and dread, she raised her arm. “I don’t want to, I don’t want to” trying to resist, but her thoughts and her body weren’t working together. She drew back the curtain. The beast on the bed looked at her and beckoned her forwards.

“Come in, come in” the seductive voice said. “Come in, come in” as it held out it’s three fingered hand, the talons opening and closing in a beckoning motion. Screaming, she threw her arms up in front of her to try and protect herself. She screamed, but no sound came out. Silent screaming. “Oh my god!”, as the beast looked at her and smiled. She tried to push herself away but nothing happened. “Come in, come in”.

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! I have to wake up.” she heard the shouting inside her head.

The beast shook it’s horns from side to side and shimmered like a dark light, and, stepping off the bed, it floated ever closer. Jay tried to step back, turn, leave, run, but she couldn’t move her feet, her body……”Jesus!” she thought. “Nothing works.”………..

“Wake up! wake up!”……… Coming closer, the beast reached out it’s hand again ………. Jay drew back, she pulled back, or thought she did, but nothing worked. In her head she was pulling back, turning, running, screaming, back through the curtains and into the corridor, slipping and falling as she tried to escape.

She realised, “I can’t escape” as the beast bent over her and looked into her eyes. “Wake up! Wake up!…….Oh my god!……… This is real…… This is really happening……………!” and then the beast smiled again and placed it’s hand under her chin. A coldness enveloped her, a clammy misty kind of coldness.

“Every night I die” was her last thought.

Jay at bolt upright in bed. The room was dark and cool. She looked around, there was no sign of blue curtains or white walls. Her left hand reached out and brushed up against the back of her partner. He breathed in as she breathed out. “It was a dream, a dream” she said out loud. “Oh my god, a dream”………….

“I had the most awful dream last night” Jay set down a cup of black tea on the bedside table and hopped back into bed. Saturday morning sun streamed through the window, and somewhere outside a dog was barking excitedly.

“It was just awful” she murmured as she sipped her tea. Leigh rolled over lazily and looked up at her from the pillows. “What was it about?”. “Just awful, horrible. I was in a corridor with blue curtains that went on for ever and then, well…….”, she shuddered, “I don’t think I want to talk about it anymore. Just forget it”.

“I think it might be something to do with the pills, but I’m not sure.” Her mug placed neatly onto the coaster, she got out of bed and put on her favourite long cardigan and went into the bathroom to do her morning routine.

Wash face, dry face, apply the moisturiser and other face stuff and then stick on some foundation and lippy. Smile. Forget the dreams and, hey, you’re ready for the day! “If it was that easy.” she thought.

Not that easy. Out comes the packets of pills. The instructions say, ‘Take this pill once a day a half hour before food.’ The next instructions for the second pill are ‘take one pill two hours after food’ and the third instructs to ‘take the pill with food.’

Some need to be split into two. It’s not easy when your world becomes dominated by the requirement to take pills that are supposedly designed to stop your illness in it’s tracks, but, come with side effects.

“Mmmm,” Jay thought, as she read the small leaflet that was inside the packet of pills that were causing her the greatest concern. “Mmmm, side effects, can cause bad dreams and hallucinations.”

“I need to get off this stuff.” Jay thought to herself as she brushed her teeth.

She picked up a glass that she kept by the bathroom sink, filled it full of water, took a sip, swished it around her mouth and spat it out. Having finished her morning ritual she stepped through the bathroom door and into the walk-in wardrobe area that was positioned between the bathroom and bedroom.

Something caught her eye. She looked down and noticed that there was a knife lying on the floor. Bending down to pick it up she knew exactly how it had got there. It was one of the knives that Leigh used outside in the garden to whittle stakes down and cut twine. “Leigh!” she thought, “Why does he always leave this stuff lying around the house”?

She stepped into the bedroom. The sunlight had disappeared and the room was darker than she recalled. A slight noise on the bed. A slight swish of sheets. The room felt colder. Jay stood on the threshold of the bedroom, a faint feeling of dread rose up, she felt a catch in her throat and she coughed.

The Beast rolled over on the bed and smiled at her. Extending it’s scaly hand, the familiar talons opened and closed beckoning her forwards. “Come in, come in” the seductive voice echoed in her mind.

Jay paused for a moment, she felt the knife in her hand.

She knew what she had to do.