She Wasn't There

I smiled as the wind whipped Alexia’s brown, shiny curls around her face. I stared, mesmerized by her playfulness. One second I'm enjoying the view, the next, I was very aware of the box in my jean pocket digging uncomfortably into my thigh. “Izaac!” she squealed loudly as she threw an arm bar across my chest and I slammed on the breaks. The truck skidded to a stop, the tail swinging wildly around back. We sat an inch away from a gigantic deer that had miraculously appeared in the road. It just stared, wide eyed at the truck. I let out a nervous giggle, and took mental stock of what was damaged, nothing seemed too out of place. The deer stayed put. I looked at Alexia, “Wha… What do I do?”

“Just wait a minute. I think it’s just scared. It’ll leave on its own in a second.”

I sat for what felt like an eternity staring into this deer’s eyes. Finally I whispered, “It’s not leaving…”

“I said give it a minute!” she cracked her door as she spoke. The metallic screech must have spooked the deer, it jumped, and kicked a large dent in part of the wheel well and shattered the front light before it sprinted off. “Shit. Sorry, love.” she said with a sheepish smile. I shrugged, “It’s an old truck,” and shifted back into gear, ready to get back on the road. I just prayed the damage wasn’t too bad.

Finally, we pulled into the Yellowstone. After we got our parking and camping tickets verified at the gate and parked the truck I finally got out to check the damage the deer did. Not too bad. I thought, maybe a couple hundred in repairs. Alexia, ever the efficient one, had already taken our gear out of the truck bed. She flashed me her brilliant smile. “Here!” She threw a foldable water bottle at me. “I don’t have anymore room in my pack!” I pushed the water bottle into my half filled pack easily. Alexia was the outdoorsy one. This would be my first true camping trip under the stars. No cabin, no RV. Just me, Alexia, a tent and a fire.

After mapping our route we set off on a busy trail. Alexia talking about how she grew up near this park and spent many summers exploring the rarely used paths. Her friend group had even made their own hand drawn maps. She knew exactly which ones led where, “I can’t believe I’m finally back in Yellowstone and you’re making me go to the most crowded spots!” she said lightly. Teasing me for my lack of experience and basic bitch instincts. “Hey!…They’re overrated... for a reason!” I replied with a laugh between labored breaths, “They’re classics!” She turned to me, hearing my response. She squinted a bit as she assessed my condition, “Need a break?” Desperately, I thought. “Not at all!” I replied a little too forcefully. Thankfully, I don’t think she believed me and insisted that we stop for lunch. Ping! Ping! Ping! 20 min out. Will be set up. Let me know when you are here. A series of texts from my photographer. I felt for the box in my pocket as I ate lunch. “You alright? You’ve been grabbing your leg a lot today.”

Damn she’s observant. “Yeah. I think I tweaked it at the gym. You know… trying to get tree trunk legs!” I said with a fake chuckle.

She scrunched her nose but didn’t press any further.

If you ever want to stop time, just propose. My heart beat pounded in my ears as we hiked the last half mile. I was sweating and light headed despite the crisp autumn air. Alexia looked concerned as we reached the Prismatic Spring. “Seriously Izaac… Are you alright?” I nodded. Unable to make my tongue work. I reached for her unable to stop my hands from shaking, in an attempt to soothe her concern. I looked around wildly, finally I spotted my photographer of the far side of the pool. “Lets go over this way! I want to grab a cool photo.” I ushered her over and positioned myself behind her. With her back to me I kneeled down. Taking a deep breath. Three…Two…One! “WILLYOUMARRYME?!” It came out loudly, quickly, all jumbled together. Alexia jumped then spun around. Grinning widely. “OF COURSE YOU IDIOT!” she screamed as she jumped into my arms, and knocked us both to the ground just missing the pool of water to our right.

The rest of the day was spent in a hazy bliss. Even the ache in my body from exertion wasn’t enough to dampen my spirits. We had continued on our hike after the proposal. Alexia knew a small clearing where we could camp and no one would interrupt us. We took the few remaining daylight hours and set up camp, chopped the fire wood, and made love. It was magic out in those woods. I was beginning to understand why she had spent so much of her youth out there. As the sun started to set Alexia opened the celebratory bottle of champagne I had snuck into my pack. We sat by the dying fire and drank, laughed at horrible jokes, and tried to see who could tell the best ghost story. We fell asleep out there under the stars.

I awoke in pitch black, the stars gleaming above. “Wow, I had no idea how many stars there are.” I whispered. I felt Alexia slide her slender hand into mine. “You’re so cold!” I stated as I engulfed her hand in both of mine in a vain attempt to warm it. In the dark I could see her big, almost black eyes as she blinked lazily at me. “I can’t believe you said yes.” I said, in a slow slurred voice, still a little drunk from champagne and high off of the absolute ecstasy of my proposal and the happiness our future was certain to hold. I started talking about it. Our future home, our non-existent children, the two dogs and white picket fence we were destined to have together. As I rambled a small chime to my right pulled me from narrating my day dream. I decided at the last second to check considering how late it must have been. Lexiplex my dumb nickname for Alexia glowed across my screen, “Are you coming to bed?” The text beneath it read. Ping! "It's lonely in here ;) !"

My blood went cold. A sick, sinking feeling took hold of my gut as I realized I hadn’t been holding Alexia’s hand. Fear gripped my heart as I realized that “Alexia” hadn’t spoken a single word since I woke up. This must be old. My brain tried desperately to create a plausible scenario. As it fought against the booze. Service is spotty. It has to be an old text. Adrenaline set in, I tried desperately to slow my breathing. Alexia's hand is in mine. I tried to will more light into my eyes, the pair of black eyes I had been so sure were Alexia’s never left my face, they blinked subtly out of synch. One eye would go then the other. Like it was being done mechanically. I could feel the panic rising in my chest as my breath became ragged. As my breath changed so did the “breath” of whatever hand I held. It mocked me, or at the very least mimicked me. “Ale-” I squeaked, the sound caught in my throat. I coughed trying to find sound, the things hand gripped me tighter. Digging sharp nails into the soft flesh of my palm. “Alexia…?” The question was soft, shaky. The hand closed even tighter, I heard a soft pop, a searing pain shot up my arm. I heard a rustling in the tent behind me, as the thing crushing my hand started to pull me closer with inhuman strength.

“Izaac?” I popped my head out of the tent and looked around. He hadn't answered my texts. He wasn’t there. Must be off peeing, I thought to myself. I was about to turn around and go back into the tent when a shadowy lump by the fire pit caught my attention. Even with the star light the dark was just different out here. Thicker, more suffocating. “Izaac?” I say gently as I poked at him. He stared up at me, unblinking. In this light his normally hazel eyes looked almost black. I felt a tingle run down my spine as I held his gaze. “C-common love, come to bed.” He was completely silent as he stood. Never blinking, never taking his eyes off mine. He slipped one large hand over mine, and gripped me tightly. I shivered at his touch, “You’re so cold!”