Rosco Higgins Paranormal Detective

Hello again everybody. Rosco here, with another case of mine. This one happened about a couple weeks after that circus of changelings went up in smoke. By the way, the townsfolk are fine. Most of the leftover changelings fled the town and the agency has since caught all of them. There’s a couple reformed ones working in HR now.

This case is somewhat special to me because these creatures or spirits I should say are pretty rare. The Pontianak is an Indonesian and Malay myth of a vengeful spirit of a woman who dies during pregnancy who can transform into young beautiful women and devour men. Well it turns out this wasn’t a myth at all.

Now before I get into the thick of it, I want to thank you all supporting my memoirs. Many of you seem to enjoy this and others also send gifts. Particularly the gift box I received earlier this week. It had nothing but lube and a cornucopia of large vegetables with a loving letter telling me to go fuck myself. Thank you, but I made a salad instead.

Now the Pontianak in itself is practically untraceable. With the ability to change into flesh then vanish is a bitch to work with. Needless to say I had to follow the trail of bodies she left all over the place. Shit I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me rewind to where this all took place. Maybe some of you live there, if so I recommend you getting the Fuck out ASAP. If you are of the Male variety that is.

This job landed me into the cesspool that is Portland Oregon. Now if you are not familiar with their slogan, its “keep Portland weird” and let me tell you of the crazy amount of supernatch that happens in that city, its pretty traumatizing. Some of you may also be familiar with Stark Street, in more ways than one. If you don’t know, that is Portland’s famous street of drag prostitution. At least on the surface. Dig in a little deeper and its a haven for the supernatch, and that’s exactly where I found myself.

What’s easier to hide in if your a sexual monster, than a supernatch prostitution ring. Now if you all are thinking I went in disguised as a John, you are horribly misled. I did go about asking questions however about all the disappearing men. I managed to run into a few leprechauns that were down on there luck. Thats a sight to see. Fae folk tend to not want to be seen. Ill let your imagination cover down on that situation.

I didn’t get a single beat on this thing. No bodies or anything were found. Nobody was talking.

Interrogation only works if I know the suspect has intel so I cant just take some random off the streets and beat the shit out of them. I was left to sticking to a good old fashioned stake out and just post up. I did what I had to and got a shady hotel on that nasty street. And yes, I was approached by quite a few prostitutes of both variety, human and non. Normally prostitution is illegal even for those supernatch that have integrated with society but that's non of my business at the moment. I had a job to do.

Now, not much is known of the Pontianak, they have long dark hair and red eyes and appear mostly when there is a full moon. From what HQ has gathered she has been appearing more frequently than that. Other than that I have dick.

The only option I got is to wait for another sad sack of shit to either die or I go and get caught myself. As we all should be aware, I am not keen on being caught. Now, surprisingly enough what would normally work on ghosts also work on Pontianak. Salt, iron, burning their remains. Problem is finding the remains. What the agency cooked up instead is sort of a prison system for ghosts. Kinda like Ghostbusters without the dumb lasers. Its a trap but instead of a box its a hex. Yes witchcraft is used to detain ghosts, well its more of a sigil that needs to be placed on the spirit that puts it in a dormant state so it can be transported to the holding facility. The sigil is made up of iron encrusted with salts from around the world. These are hexed by the Agencies witchcraft and wizardry sector. For you Harry Potter fans out there, no you don’t have the chance to go to HogFarts or whatever the fuck that school is called.

Anyways, the trick is going to be getting close enough to place the sigil on the Pontianak. Being it is ghost like in nature it will be a bit of a bitch to apprehend. That’s why I came up with my own little toy, well, it used to be anyways. For the smart sonafabitch that invented the HulaHoop, I thank you. Adding salt and iron inside of it practically makes it a mobile detention center, and I get to play the most badass game of ringtoss.

Now I’ve been told my methods are a bit unconventional as I tend to have several casualties accompanying my solving the cases. As for Deputy six feet under, he knew what he was getting into.

This time im going to need to use someone as bait. Being that I am staying in a shady hotel off of the main drag, no pun intended. I will be needing to keep a close eye on those who come and go. Catch an eye on those with frequent flyer miles if you catch my drift.

Nothing happens for the first few days, yeah I got stuck in that sleezy ass hotel for days. I’m not too fond of that neither. The only thing I saw was the two Leprechauns performing what I would assume is an act of depravity. To simplify it, one stood on top of the other ones shoulders and had a trench coat on. It was the freakiest shit I’ve seen in my life. That even beats the one time I broke up a Lycan orgy.

I’m not disclosing details on that. Just know, its by invite only.

These gross ass shenanigans go on for several days until I spot the same guy in a pull over hoodie and sunglasses. What kind of duchebag dresses like the uni bomber. Someone trying to get supernatch tail. That’s who. Ive spotted this guy showing up several times this week. We have found our frequent flyer. Now to go apprehend him. Of course I’m going to wear gloves. I’ve learned since my last sticky incident.

Now I sneak up on him real smooth when he enters the alley way behind this store called Spartacus. I think its some sort of gladiator sportswear place, I dunno. I wrap my hand around his mouth to keep him quiet while holding a snub nose .38 caliber up to his head. I had to inform him that I was with the police and I was under suspicion that illegal prostitution of sorts was being conducted behind this hear sporting goods store.

He held still for a bit not saying anything when a gorgeous woman in a glistening red dress walks up to us from the shadows. She starts enticing me to let him go. While that’s going on I can feel the uni bomber of a man I was holding onto squirm. This has got to be her. I mean she doesn’t fit the profile of the majority of the gross people around here.

I let the man go while holding my gun on her, If it was the Pontianak then I knew the gun wasn't going to do a damn thing, well it wouldn't if it wasn't loaded with salt filled hollow point bullets. It wont kill her but it will slow her down. I told the lady I needed to see some I.D. to which she then turned into the demon spawn monster that she was.

The look of surprise on her face when I didn’t flinch was actually quite funny. That's when all of a sudden the uni bomber looking ass fuck pulled a gun of his own on me. Apparently that's her pimp. Who would have guessed it. I don’t have any of my special equipment with me at the moment so the only thing I could do was give chase. I rushed the Uni Pimp and smacked the gun out of his hands. I guess he was just an average guy.

After I knocked that piss poor excuse of a pimp on the ground, the Pontianak gave chase. Luckily my hotel was right across the way. All I had to do was lead her there. Sounds easy enough. Nope!

She rushed me so damn fast and threw me into the alley wall causing my revolver to fly away down the alley. Well now I aint got shit. And she is now in spirit form so fisticuffs aint gonna work. She’s obviously faster than me so running isn't gonna do it either. The only thing I can do is let her get close to me.

She does the whole monologue thing too, telling me why she’s here and decided to become a prostitute for the free food and all that jazz. Honestly it would have been a great plan if she wasn't so damn sloppy. She slowly approaches me. I can see the hunger in her eyes. She does offer me a quickie though before devouring me. What a sweetheart. Now this is going to sound stupid to all of you but this is probably the only other time that having vamp blood running through me was actually beneficial.

I bit down on my tongue as hard as I could and filled my mouth with blood. As she came at me, I spit as much blood into her mouth as I could.

Immediately she pulled back in disgust and began to gag. Yeah not being 100% human is kinda cool but that hurt like a son of a bitch. That bought me enough time to get back to the hotel room and grab my things. She gave chase and she was pretty damn fast. She was on my ass like white on rice. As I made it to the front door of my hotel room she charged me and knocked me on my ass like a line backer. Her petite figure was a bullshit lie I tell ya.

I did my best to brush myself off and getting back to my feet. She wasn’t having any of that. She leapt on me like a raging animal and started tearing me apart, it was gruesome. She gouged into my chest and tore me up. There was nothing I could do about it honestly. I was gonna fucking die. Well, I thought so anyways.

Luckily there was enough umph in the vampire blood I had in my veins to prevent that. She apparently didn’t realize what I was and that gave me an upper hand. I woke back up in my hotel room, blood all over the place but other than that I was fine. I got everything cleaned up. No doubt she was still working the alley with her pimp. I grabbed up all my gear and went in for round two.

Now I wasn’t taking any chances with the vamp blood again. It worked once who knows if it could again. Her pimp saw me first and tried to pull his gun. I shot him where he stood. Right in his stupid fucking aviators. Immediately I pulled out that hula hoop and ran down the alley. I found her working on a John in the alley, just going to town on him like she hasn't eaten in a month. I abruptly threw the ring around her throat and pulled back. Causing her to fall back and trapping herself in circle. She was pissed.

Now I gave her a speech about how I was just supposed to bring her in to the agency so we could learn about her kind and potentially offer her a chance of rehabilitating her eating habits. I threw that option right out the fucking window. She’s fucked. I didn’t know how to kill her yet, but I have all the time in the world with her being trapped. This is where she started begging and pleading. Saying that she just didn’t have another option. Bleeding heart sob story bullshit honestly. If I couldn’t kill her, I could sure as shit make it hurt. I managed to shackle her with some supernatch shackles and dragged her to my car. Hell I even let her ride shotgun. Ya know its been a while since I had a pretty lady ride shotgun. I drove her to an undisclosed warehouse off of the riverside. That’s one thing I like about Portland. Plenty of places to do nefarious shit.

I dragged her into the warehouse and chained her up to an old piece of machinery. This place looks abandoned enough. I grabbed a pickax and started breaking the floor. She had let me know that she cant die. And I’m okay with that. What she wasn’t aware of was that she was getting put in a personal prison. I dug that hole for 3 straight days. It was fucking deep. She looked like she had gotten weaker without feeding. Good. Killing Random folks is kinda her thing, but killing me was a fucking mistake.

I filled the hole half way with salt and iron. That cost me a small fortune. I gave her a chance for last words. As she started to talk I just tossed her in. I didn’t need to hear any more of that shit. I rented a cement truck and started to fill the hole. And yes I stayed until it dried. I wasn’t letting this bitch have time to escape.

She’s under at least twenty feet of concrete now. God only knows what she’s got rattling in her head. Probably something along the lines of I’m hungry and I have the worst concrete enema. Now I caught a lot of heat from this case with the agency but fuck them I gave them my report of me getting killed. I did tell them that she escaped after that. I wasn’t going to disclose that I had her buried. Those assholes would have dug her up.

If anyone from the agency listens to this, do me a favor and keep you fucking mouth shut. That bitch can rot for all I care.

Thank you all for listening. I got another call coming in. Keep your head up and watch your six.