My heart has always been with the ocean

My heart has always been with the ocean.

I remember the first time my mother took me to the beach. I was only four, but every detail feels like a tattoo. The delicate sand caressed my toes. The excited squeals of the seagulls were almost as content as I was. My mother had been stressed all my childhood, but the way her face washed over. The way she smiled, she loved seeing me so happy.

So she decided to move us to a beautiful beach house. I don’t remember it clearly, but she sacrificed a lot to reach that point. I am so grateful that I had a mother like her. When she passed, the house went in my name. And although for a while, the memories of this place felt salty because she wasn’t here. I had to stay optimistic because she sacrificed her life for my smile.

However, I can’t get rid of that night either. The thunderstorms, it was terrifying. But the scariest part was she didn’t come home. And it haunts me. I was 17, and she had gone out for the night to spend time with her friends. I encouraged her. I wanted her to have fun. I had been watching TV all night long, but suddenly I had heard a piercing yet harmonic scream. I remember peeking out my window for a moment, and I swear, I saw someone. I try not to think about it. But I wonder.

Why, mom, why didn’t you come home?

She had always been a bit distant. She never told me about my father, and if I were to ask, she would quickly change the conversation. The police wouldn’t do anything to help find her. They made me feel crazy. So I had to come with my own theories. Maybe she met my father, and he told her that they should run away together. Or perhaps she got kidnapped by a mafia boss and was asked to marry. These all seem possible. My mother was more beautiful than any model I’ve ever seen. The last option was, well, the ocean.

No. The ocean would never do that. The sea is beautiful and pure.

And it has been consistent in my life.

My phone began to buzz, snapping me out of my recap. Oh, Eli is calling me.

“Serene, babe!! Let’s go out tonight,” Eli cheered.

I pondered for a moment, “sure, where to?”.

“SeaBreeze, girl! The food looks so yummy, and the vibe is perfect”.

My eyes lit up, “Oh, that new place on the water! Yes, I’m down”.

She teased me because she knew I’d say yes. She knows me so well.

After our small conversation, we both got ready and met up at SeaBreeze. I was the first to arrive. For a moment, I stood there, gazing around the bar. I was stunned. This place was beautiful. It was so open, and I could feel a chill breeze float through. Pillars were holding up the roof above, and no windows. This place was packed. The sunset illuminated the restaurant. So many people were taking selfies for a perfect “golden-hour” social media post. There was an open kitchen where you could see all the chefs in action. I saw an upper bar and a lower bar, one being placed along the water. Many people sat at the lower bar, dipping their feet in the clear water and sipping on Pina Coladas. And many people swimming around too.

“Serene!! I can tell you’re in complete awe of this place,” Eli called as she ran up. I had no response, I just nodded. I want to live here. “Come on, let’s go” She grabbed my hand and led me in.

We talked for hours about various things. I often found myself drifting away. “Are they hiring?” Eli burst out laughing. “Or like, can we come here every day.” We continued talking about the beauty of the bar. After the sunset, we decided to take a dip in the water.

The water was a perfect temperature this time at night. It was warm. The water surrounding the base of the bar was reflecting various hues of blue. I wish mom could’ve seen this. She would’ve loved it here.

A massive wave of water splashed into my face, “Got you,” Eli giggled. “Haha, very funny,” I mocked.

“Hello ladies, sorry to interrupt your water fight,” a man approached. He was well built, not a bodybuilder, but he probably works out a few times a week. He looked young, maybe around our age, but his pickup line indicated he could be more youthful.

Eli eyed me, telling me to go for it.

The man, Sean, and I talked for a while. He seemed nice, but I often got distracted. I felt so enticed by this place. “You seem to really like the ocean,” he stated.

“Yeah, I feel like my purpose is to be here. My mother saw that too, so she bought us a beach house,” I explained.

“That’s great. I’m honestly a bit scared of the ocean,” He replied. I gave him a confused expression, and he continued, “Do you ever think about how much of the ocean is unexplored?”

“It makes it so much more interesting.” I smiled faintly.

“Yeah, but you don’t know what you’re gonna find. Humans have only explored like 7% of it or something. What if there’s dragons or aliens down there”.

I teased, “Dragons? Aliens? I bet you think there are monsters under your bed”.

And then there was a crack of thunder, shocking us out of our conversation. Some people screamed. And the majority exited the water. We all sheltered and dried up. But I was still in a daze. And if I looked closely. I saw a figure. It was far, like a mile. Maybe less. It was enticing. I felt consumed.

Everyone went home shortly after that. I couldn’t stop my thoughts. Did I see someone? A woman? That feeling felt like gravity. I felt pushed into the earth and drawn into the ocean. Did anyone else see her? It could’ve just been in my head. They weren’t afraid of the thunder.

I stared out my window and watched the raindrops race down my window. There wasn’t a forecast for rain. And especially a thunderstorm.

The figure popped up in my head again. What is happening?

I grabbed my phone and immediately called the first number. “Hey Eli, I have a question.,”

“Selene, hey, why do you sound so out of breath?” She responded in a concerted manner.

“Did you see anything out on the water?”

“Yeah, lightning? It was pretty scary.” She replied. “Selene? Hello?”.

I was gone. I saw them. I floated to my door and pushed it open. The sudden wind almost blew me off my feet.

The figure. They stood within the water.

And I could see them. There was a strange feeling within me, my gut was telling me, no but my heart was screaming yes.

But I still treaded further -step by step.

Being almost untouched by the wind.

I was now meters away from my doorstep. I took a few steps into the water. Yet, I remained unbothered. I pushed forwards.

My eyes flickered with confusion.

The figure’s face had morphed.

And it felt familiar.

I almost forgot it.

We were face to face.

“M-”

It grabbed me. But it didn’t seem aggressive. Was it an embrace?

“What happened? You’ve been gone for years”. I couldn’t tell if it was tears or the rain running down my face.

No response.

“The police, they wouldn’t help me find you. They said you didn’t exist.”

Silence.

“I’ve missed you so much-”

A thud. And a shudder.

I looked down and couldn’t react.

Is this what it’s like to be stabbed?

No. This is worse.

The figure put their fist into my chest.

I watched as they pulled my heart out of my chest.

I couldn’t react. I could feel each vein pumping to my heart.

I could see each vein.

And quick tug, and I saw it all fade.

I felt as I was falling in slow motion.

And I watched as my mother morphed and swam away.

Taking my heart with her into the ocean.