Men aren’t always what they seem

I fixed my lipstick in the bathroom mirror. "Well, this isn't the worst first day in the world. He is very handsome, with dark brown hair and blackish eyes. oh and he has the kindest smile." I bit my nail while explaining him to a friend over the phone. "Well get back in there girl!! tell me everything when you get home!!" she hung up. I looked at myself in the mirror again and took a deep breath. I was walking across the restaurant to see my blind dating talking to the waitress. "Man, I was getting scared you had ditched," he said with a joking tone. "Ditch? was I that obvious?" I giggled back. "I just ordered us another bottle of wine I hope that's okay?" I smiled and nodded.

The date went almost too perfectly, But I needed a reminder that all men weren't animals. He was even enough of a gentleman to walk me to my door. "I had a really great time tonight." I smiled. "Me too, You're very sweet and this was absolutely wonderful!" he then kisses my forehead and started to walk away. "Wait! I really never do this but would you like to come in?" I opened the door and motioned it was okay. He smiled and walked inside. Biting my lip, I slowly closed the door behind me. "let me get us some wine." I rushed over to the kitchen to grab glasses. "ahh what am I doing? I just let a strange perfect man into my apartment... I mean he literally is perfect," I thought as I poured some wine. I walked into the living room to see him looking at my art. "Did you paint all of these yourself? he said pointing around the room. "Yeah... they aren't very good, it's just a hobby." I walked over to the couch and sat in the arm of the chair. "They look amazing! you should do an art show" He sounded so sweet. I handed him a glass.

"Cheers" our wine glasses gentle touched and we both took a sip. He looked into my eyes and I looked into his. He leaned in and we kissed. It escalated to making out. He tried to unbutton my shirt. "look, you're really sweet and this has been an amazing date but I really don't sleep with guys on the first date... I"m sorry" He looked back at me confused, "But you invited me in? Doesn't that mean sex?" I sat up and pushed myself a little away from him. "Excuse me? That is not what that means... It's just I liked you and wanted the date to last a little longer." "Wow, so you're just like the other girls huh. what a tease." He stood up and walked over to the door. "Waste of a good date bitch, don't bother calling me." Just then he put his hand on his chest, coughing, he collapsed to the ground.

"Wakey, wakey." I ran a cold knife against his cheek. His eyes slowly opened. He started to struggle but I had him strapped down to a chair and gagged. "Good morning handsome! Look at you passing out on me, how rude" I giggled and set the knife down on the counter. He was muttering something but I really didn't care what he thought. "So I'm going to make this date fun after all! You ready to feel violated and only wanted for your body, you pig!" I looked over at the counter with all of my beautiful tools ready. "You see, once I was so innocent and pure" I picked up the pliers. Grabbing his left hand I slowly placed the pliers on this index knuckle, with a firm grip a twisted and ripped off his index finger. Blood squirted out and I giggled. He was screaming now but it was so muffled. "You see I once thought there were good men on this planet." I proceeded to do the same to his middle finger. "But turns out all that a guy wants is an object they can use for their own pleasure." SNAP the ring finger was gone. "Whoopies now you can't even have a wedding ring.. aww poor guy." I snapped off his pinky and then placed the pliers back on the counter. "See one night I thought why do men get to have all the fun? why can women use men for their bodies too?" I saw the saw and giggle as I grabbed it. "See sweetheart I'm actually a hero because you would have been another girl's perfect date hoping for an easy lay. " I took the saw and placed it right below the elbow of his right arm. "Good thing you liked wine because it's the easiest to hind drugs in." I pulled the saw toward me and this time I heard him scream. Laughing I pushed the saw back, Watching it go a couple of inces into his skin, blood spraying the ground. Back and forth and back and forth I went until my favorite nosie. SNAP and then a loud THUD as his arm hit the ground. "Aw sweetheart now you can never touch another woman. What a shame, what a shame." I looked back at my counter of toys. "OMG!! I've always wanted to try this!!!" I picked up an ice pick and hammer, "I know you don't have a brain but how fun is this going to be!!" I squealed as if I had just gotten a new present. He screamed and tried to get free.

Placing the ice pick on the inner socked of his eye and grabbing up the hammer. He started to cry but I was so excited not to try this. CRACK. The ice pick went into his skull with the intention of a lobotomy. "Ah shit, I think I went too deep." I grabbed the ice pick and pulled it out of his skull. His body went limp. "Damn I accidentally killed him... Well, there goes all my fun." bummed out I placed the tools back on the counter and smacked him one last time.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. I rushed over to the door and opened it. "Hey, girl! Ready to have some fun?" it was my friend. "About that, I kind of messed up..." We walked into the kitchen to see this guy missing his fingers on his left hand, half of his right arm, and a huge hole in his eye. "What the hell! we were supposed to do this together "Sorry I got a little too excited" "Fine, Fine, But next time I get to be the hot date and you come clean up my mess" She playfully hit my arm. "Guess another rapist who got away off the streets and another girl who can finally have justice." My phone started to ring. "Hello?" "Hey... is it... I mean is he..." I could tell the person on the other end of the phone was my client. "Let's just say you won't even worry about him again" I heard a sigh of relief and then hung up.

"Such a bummer too, He was really the perfect date. But when you've killed as many men as we have you can see right through them." I took my tools to the sink to wash off, while my partner started to clean around the body. "Well, to say the least, men are never what they seem." We looked at each other and giggled. "Now back to work, We still have a lot more lessons to teach."