Madness and Paranoia

I am not sure anymore if I am asleep or awake. Am I even sane anymore...it is all jumbled up inside my mind. How long will this go on, this dream I dream of madness every night. How long has it been, i dont even know

anymore

They dont know that i know that they are watching me the ghosts in the walls the people inside the computer screen those on the street

everywhere I go, they watch me

I dont turn on the lights anymore i skip my punctuation marks they use it to watch my keystrokes the people inside my computer

dot dot comma full stop period

even when I sleep they wont leave me alone

I think that I am asleep yet somehow I am aware

sometimes

i

am

quite

lucid and clear in my head

I am fully aware that I am suffering from paranoia, my psychological condition characterized by irrational and persistent mistrust or suspicion of others. I am experiencing paranoia, I believe that others are out to harm me or have deceitful intentions towards me, I have no evidence or justification. It just manifests as part of my mental disorder, where I have systematized delusions of persecution or grandeur, often leading to wild hallucinations.

At least that is what the people in the walls whisper to me, they tell me to smash the computer to bits, so you won't be able to track my money, if I had money I would be worried, who wants my pennies anyway. Joke's on them, ha ha.

I am also aware that I am possibly dreaming that I am sitting on the couch in my psychiatrist's office. Sometimes I know for sure that I am locked inside a mental institution and they have given me drugs to make me stupid. Because I know what they are doing.

Listen to me...they are killing people at nights, I hear them scream as they slice off their limbs and cook them and feed them to us as beef and steak. They think that we are mad, but it is they who are the mad ones. I refuse to eat, so they sedate me and feed me through some form of tubes.

I hate them, those f@#%^%s.

"You cant keep us locked up for very much longer, we are on to you, you murderers". I scratch my head, it itches from the worms crawling inside.

Why do you keep explaining this to me Doc...

I know the drill

please

stop talking.

Does he even listen

i imagine myself jumping over the table and grabbing his throat

squeezing it until his eyes bulge from the sockets

but the chains hold me to the ground

F#$%^&s!!!!

"In everyday language, paranoia can also refer to a general feeling of anxiety or fear that someone is against you or that people are talking about you behind your back. It’s important to note that while everyone may experience paranoid thoughts from time to time, clinical paranoia is more severe and can significantly impact a person’s life".

He just keeps droning on. I toss restlessly in my bed...wait a minute...why am I in my bed...

Am I still asleep. I cannot tell anymore. The people in the walls are shouting at me to be quiet. The ones in the computer crawl around trying to steal my information. I stick my thumb in my mouth and curl up tight...maybe they will leave me alone now!

I escape the warders and run into the hall where the other patients are wandering in various states of assumed madness, but we are not mad, we are the sane ones. All of you are mad.

No, not the straight jacket. It makes me feel like I am suffocating. Please not the straight jacket.

"How are you feeling today Maxie". Who said that.

I open my eyes and the walls have closed in on me, the four walls have computer screens all showing me sleeping in my bed. They have blocked me in.

Oh God...i know i shouldn't have used those damned punctuations and proper sentences...now they have tracked me down...

There is no escape, they have got me. I am a prisoner within my own mind and the walls and spies in the machines have won.

ha ha ha

i got you...you f$#%@%s

i have found a way to end the nightmares for ever

I stick my thumb in my mouth, roll over and go right back to sleep.

Let them watch. The bomb is ticking away under my bed!!!!

Soon, it will all be over!!!!!!!!!!!!

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