Last Tether

The wind was howling, nearly knocking me over, looking down sent a shiver through my spine. “Is this right?” I thought to myself. The rain splashing my face made it hard to see, but I knew where I was. I had planned for this all week, nothing was going to get in my way. I was deadset, not even my mind could stop me now. I took another glance down as the sirens began to sound in the distance. I can’t believe it took them so long to get here.

I looked up, not even the moon was visible through the fountain of rain pouring into my eyes. I sighed, “Let’s get this over with.” I took a step, and heard a woman scream from behind me. I suppose a leap of death could terrify anyone. So then why not me? If I’m the one taking the action, why is she the one screaming and not me? I suppose the numbness kind of takes that fright away huh?

Plummeting to the water below caused my brain to slow down it seemed. I always wondered what happened to all that energy flowing through our bodies when we died. Maybe that slowing of time is the brain trying to expend the remainder of electricity it’s produced? Heh, look at me, contemplating life and death just before…

“What- what is this darkness? Why am I still conscious? My body should be dead now right? No, there is light, it’s faint, but I can make out trees, people. There’s something dark beneath me though. It looks like it’s about my size. What is this? An out of body experience maybe? But I should be dead.”

My mind was racing, I mean I should’ve been dead now. But If I could still see around me and think, maybe not? I could hear something faint, almost like a whisper, but it was gibberish. Yet, I could still understand the meaning, “We must get this person to a hospital immediately.” It was as if I was reading someone else’s thoughts somehow. It appeared to be coming from a silhouette radiating a blue hue, a little brighter than the others around it.

I decided that if this was some sort of out of body experience, “I might as well look around while I had the chance. Who knew if I could even die like this? There’s the chance of course, but I guess I don’t really feel like dying anymore anyway. I just feel… hollow?”

I walked away as the figures loaded the silhouette shaped like me into what I could only assume was an ambulance. All I could see from it was its shape as it had a very dim white hue to it. Walking in the direction of a bar I frequented, I began thinking again, “How long will this last? Is this death? Will I just roam the Earth until I die?” Shortly into this, I began noticing human looking people passing me. I could see them in moderate detail. As if they were recorded from an old flip phone. They paid me no mind however, as if I were only traversing in a metaphysical state. All around me silhouettes were running in the direction my body was carried off to. Some had shades of blue, some grey, a few even had a deep red hue to them, causing a shiver to go down my spine if I stared for too long.

“This is so strange. I just need to get to the bar, then… then what? I’ll drink? The things around me don’t seem to notice my existence. Are they humans? But then why could I see some in such strong detail?” I stopped habitually. I looked to my right to see many dark grey silhouettes within the confines of what I knew to be the bar. I attempted to open the door, but as I pushed, I found it felt as though someone was pushing against the door on the other side. Looking down to get a better hold, I found my arms radiated a hardly visible dark grey. I brushed it off, focusing on pushing open the door.

After a few minutes, I finally managed to open it up just enough to slide through a crack. Collapsing to the ground, I had to focus on staying conscious. “But why did I need to keep myself here? I’m only in this situation because I didn’t want to be here. What’s driving me?” As I glanced up, I could see silhouettes looking in my direction. Not at me, but seemingly at the door. This seemed to confirm what I had initially assumed, they couldn’t see me.

As I stood back up, I took a look around. My eyes eventually landed on a man sitting in the rear right booth. I knew him, I could tell. I’m not sure how I knew, but something was telling me I had been close to him. As the realization of which seat he was in dawned on me, I was saddened. One of the closest people to me, still drinking his life away. Day after day, he would come here to drink glass after glass of whiskey. He always had the funniest stories to tell. But around midnight, he tended to get to the point in his drunken stupor where he would begin to break down, showing why he was truly there.

He always wanted to make people laugh, to prevent them from falling into what he could never escape. But when he got to a certain point in his drunken state, he would break down. I was the only one that would listen to him when he got like that. Rambling about how he was cursed, how when he was six, a witch had put a hex on him to never be loved again. It initially terrified him, he ran away crying telling his mom about what had happened. She told him it was fine, that curses weren’t real. But the next day, as both of his parents drove to work, they were caught in separate fatal car wrecks, only minutes apart.

After being taken to an orphanage, he shut himself off from making connections. He told himself he would never love again, so nothing may ever happen to another person again. However, the encouragement from his peers that he should make friends forced him to care about people again. But with each friend he made, he found only a short time later, they would be found dead in one way or another. He was never suspected of course, he was only a child. However, with each friend he lost, he would lose a small part of himself.

Eventually, when he turned eight, he was adopted. By this point, he had lost so many people he cared about, he had begun going to therapy for numerous mental health conditions. A few weeks passed after being adopted, and he had finally begun to open up to his new parents. He had finally started to love people without losing them. He was becoming happier.

As those weeks turned into months, he had finally begun to believe everything was just a horrible coincidence. While he was still going to therapy, he found he was becoming happier and could stand life again. But as those months became a year, he was asked to get into the car by his parents. They told him they were taking him somewhere special for his ninth birthday. Despite it being the middle of the night, he loved his parents and did as they said.

They drove for about a half an hour, periodically giving vague answers to his specific questions.

Questions like, “Can you please tell me where we’re going?” would be answered with a short, “You’ll see when we get there.” Or, “Who’s going to be there?” Would be answered with, “People who care about you.”

When they finally arrived, he was worried. The building was entirely concrete and had no windows. When he looked to his parents, their gazes were stone cold. “Get out,” said his mother as a hooded figure stepped out of the building. He reluctantly did and followed the man into the dark building.

While he never told me about what happened while living there, he did tell me that once he turned 18, he was kicked out onto the street with very little knowledge of the real world. As the coming years passed, he learned to keep people an arm's length away, that way he could have friendships without anyone ever getting close enough for him to lose them.

Looking at him now, I could see his faded aura, struggling to maintain itself. Attached to his heart area appeared to be a red flame. It had a threatening vibe to it, as if I were instinctively afraid of it. Yet, it was familiar. The sensation I had felt for the past two years, the feeling of it tearing at my mental state driving me to that bridge. Could this have been the root of it?

I approached him, initially scared, however now that I had let it sink in I was a bit more comfortable. I attempted to reach out to the red flame, but as my hand got closer, my fear spiked. As if I were staring into the deep expanse of space from a space suit running out of oxygen. It was complete, unbridled horror incarnate.

My hand shot back, bypassing my own commands to touch the intangible object. I couldn’t help it when I turned around and sprinted out of the bar, nearly running into someone entering the building. I wasn’t sure if I could physically interact with people in this state, but I didn’t feel like figuring it out.

Having left without my own consent, I decided the best course of action would be to wander until I could figure out what was going on. This plane of existence seemed to be some sort of spirit plane was the conclusion I came to. That in mind, I wasn’t sure if I could even leave.

As I walked, I saw so many different auras. The strong blue ones seemed to be near temples and churches mainly. However, that was entirely relative. Some people I could make out their physical appearance, which would essentially just highlight the color of their aura. Others, oftentimes near bars, were faded, grey, emotionless.

I’m not sure how much time passed when I first heard the whispers. It wasn’t as if the words were appearing in my mind, more like the voice was far away. “Come to me.” The first one said, it spooked me. I hadn’t heard any coherent voices until that point. Initially I couldn’t make out where it was coming from. However, as I heard it speak more and more, I was able to pin down a direction. “I can save you from the spirit plane… This existence is no way to live… Follow my voice and I can still save you.” These were just a few of the statements the voice made.

After an indefinable amount of time passed, I decided to follow the voice. Though I couldn’t feel exhaustion, my body seemed to be running low on energy. I wasn’t sure if I could make it, “My body was already faded before I came here, who’s to say I won’t fade more?” I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind. The last thing I needed right now was doubt. I have one opportunity if I want to leave this plane, and if I fade before that happens, who’s to say I won’t end up in hell or something? Sure, maybe I didn’t want to live, but living was more tolerable than the potential alternative.

By now I had made it to a backroad, leading deep into a forest at the edge of town. The whispering persisted, “I will lead you out, I can save you.” As well as other variations of that played out every five minutes or so. I had to follow it. However, the feeling I got crossing that line between forest and city was overpowering. It made the feeling of nearly touching the flame piss its own pants. As if whatever resided in the forest would kill me if I entered. I had to calm myself down. Taking breaths wasn’t exactly an option, however I could still control my consciousness. I meditated on the sound of the whispering voice. “I am safe, nothing can harm me here.” I repeated the mantra until I could bring myself to move my legs.

After five minutes or so, I took a step. I could see something malicious nearby. It was a deep crimson colored aura, clearly filled with malice. I pressed on, hoping whatever it was couldn’t see I was there. As I continued, it began following me. Considering it had yet to attack, I tried to hold my ground and continue on.

After hearing the voice six more times, I began to hear it more amplified. However, it didn’t sound the same as the whispering. They both seemed to be coming from the same source, but while I heard the louder one, I could sometimes hear the whisper at the same time. After hearing the voice a few more times, I came to a clearing. I could see small buildings around, as if there was a village out here. But I couldn’t remember this place being anything but a forest.

I tried to stay hidden at the edge of the treeline when I heard the voice again. This time, I could tell it was coming from further down the clearing, “YOU BASTARDS!” I tried to stay hidden as I headed towards the voice, however the bloodlust emanating from behind me made it hard to focus.

As I reached the edge of the clearing, I saw it. A woman, coated in what looked to be roots and leaves. She radiated a brilliant green aura and I could make out every detail of her body. She seemed to be fighting four people of some sort. They were wearing something that radiated its own aura however. The only reason I could tell was that they all had grey auras encompassing their own color. One of them was a dark blue, another, a verdant green, one of them a fire orange. Then there was the fourth, unlike the other three, it seemed to glow brighter than the others. It also had two different colors on top of the grey. Purple with black streaks. Combine all that with the fact I could hear his voice and you could say he didn’t exactly seem normal.

“We really don’t want to kill you.” He said.

There was a pause before the woman spoke, “Bullshit, you’ve already killed all of them. You committed manslaughter just to say you don’t want to kill me? This is MY forest, even after your puny government was formed, I went through the proper channels to own this land. What you have done here is murder on MY land. I am to protect the wildlife and people here! I don’t give a damn what orders you were given. THIS WILL BE YOUR DEATHBED!”

There was a short pause before the bloodlust behind me lunged out and into the clearing. The creature was massive, at least eight feet tall. I could make out the outline of a hunched over creature with antlers. It wasted no time in jumping at the man with the orange aura. He appeared to struggle with it for a bit before knocking it to the ground. After a bright flash of light, I could no longer feel the intimidating aura coming from the creature.

The woman let out a scream, as if part of her died along with the creature. The scream seemed to disturb the trees. I could feel a shaking in the earth as three of the trees started uprooting themselves. The usual faint glow they had was enhanced to a bright blue light. In contrast, I couldn’t see the woman as well as before.

One of the trees smacked the man with the orange aura so hard he hit another tree about 20 feet back. I heard a muffled cry of agony before one of the trees collapsed to the ground. I could feel the heat emanating off of it somehow, as if it were burning beyond just the physical plane.

The other two began charging the three soldiers still in the fight. They both collapsed shortly after but not before the man with the purple and black aura was smacked into the soldier who was still leaning against the tree a ways back.

With the death of the other two trees, the woman began to cry, louder than I could’ve thought possible. She signalled with one of her hands, and four roots came up from the ground and tied the men up. It seemed to be holding their arms and legs together, preventing them from making any other movements.

“You four have caused so many problems for the wildlife in this forest. Do you truly believe yourselves to be saviors?” The woman was clearly pissed as all hell.

There was a pause before she responded, “No, you can’t! This is my HOME!” With a swing of her arm, a root sprung from the ground, hitting the remaining men with such force I couldn’t see where they landed.

The woman then turned to me, “You’re finally here. The lost soul I sensed earlier. I can help you.” She had the aura of a wise old woman. Even still, she spoke to me with such kindness, “Can you speak?”

“Y-yeah, sorry… I’m not exactly sure I… sorry I’m in a bit of a daze.” I couldn’t formulate a full sentence.

She smiled, “It’s okay child, I can save you, so long as your body is intact.”

I stuttered out, “I-It might be?”

“Do not be afraid then.” She began walking over to me. I would’ve said something, but I was in shock.

“I need you to lift your head up to me child.” I gazed into her viridescent green eyes. Right as I did, she flicked me in the forehead, sending me into an eternal emptiness.

It couldn’t be described as an experience. Something beyond imagination, not due to an excess of information, but a lack thereof. A complete, conceptual nothingness. No matter, no physics, no time, nothing but my own mentality existed there. As if it was a space in between universes, the absence of anything.

It may have been immediately, or days, but when I came to, I was in a hospital. There was a nurse in the room when I woke up and she nearly screamed when I wheezed out, “What’s going on?”

After calling for a doctor, and giving me a lengthy explanation of what had happened, I began to piece things together. I’m not sure how accurate these conclusions are, but they make sense to me.

According to the nurse, I had been in a coma for the past two days with practically zero brain activity. She told me that they never expected me to come out; which is why she jumped when I spoke. What’s more, they barely managed to save me after I took the plunge off the bridge, they weren’t sure how I hadn’t died when I hit the water. The sheer number of injuries I had obtained from the plummet left me covered nearly head to toe in stitches, staples and bandages.

It took some time, but eventually, after healing and rehabilitation, I was permitted to leave the hospital. But now that I had no money, no home and no car, there wasn’t much I could really do. So I went to the one place I knew I might be able to do something.

As I entered the bar, I looked around, trying to see if I could find him. He was nowhere in sight. I sat at a nearby stool to see if he’d gone to the bathroom.

After waiting for a little while, one of the bartenders came up to me with a somber look on his face. “You looking for Jossiah?”

“Yeah! Has he come in today? I wanted to talk to him.” I responded hastily.

“I haven’t seen him in a couple weeks, I’m hoping for the best, but you know how rough he’s had it.” The man responded. It was strange, I had never seen that particular bartender here before, but he seemed to know both me and Jossiah.

Unfortunately I didn’t know where he lived, so I decided to stick around till night time rolled around, but as seven turned into eight, and eight became nine, I decided I would come back the following day.

As I left the bar, something else struck me, the forest. If everything that had happened in my spirit state had also happened in the real world, I had to go there to see what happened. I initially tried hitchhiking since it was such a long walk. But it seems most people don’t pick up people wearing clothes covered in blood, so walking was going to be my best bet.

I had to take multiple breaks on my way, but eventually, I made it. The forest had been burnt to a crisp. When I got to where the village had been, there were no buildings. I walked around the forest, using only the moonlight to guide me, but there was no sign of anything but a secluded fire.

When I got to the area where the fight broke out, I found a few tiny scraps of metal. I shoved a few pieces into my pocket and continued looking around. I was going to give up and head somewhere to get some sleep, when I saw a completely unscathed bush. Walking over to it, I found a small duffle bag. Inside, there were a few sets of clothes, a few hundred dollars, and a few miscellaneous objects I couldn’t identify. Picking up the first shirt in the bag, a sheet of paper fell out.

Opening it, I found that it was a letter, “Dear lost soul, I have left a few items in this bag for you, in case you manage to find your way back to your body. I have seen many souls like you, and I just hope that you are able to make something of these items. I have no use for them. I hope you can find yourself.”

Whoever that woman was, she was clearly different, she wasn’t human. For some reason, she saw to it that this bush was unharmed so I could have another chance at life. I couldn’t thank her enough for everything she’d done. Not only had she brought me back to life, she had given me what little she could to support me. If I ever saw her again, I’d be in her debt for sure. But I find it unlikely, whatever she was, she didn’t strike me as the type to expect anything in return.

Thanks to the change of clothes, I managed to get a ride back into town. I found the cheapest hotel I could, and slept there for the night. When I woke up, I went downstairs and headed to the main office to give my key back. I rang the bell at the desk and waited. Looking around, I saw a notice board, and a missing person paper. The drawing wasn’t perfect, but I could tell who it was.

As fortunate as I had been to get my life back, it seemed those weeks in the hospital took another. No matter how bad I wanted to save someone else, I just wouldn’t get that opportunity anymore. All I could do was hope he wouldn’t get stuck wherever that plane of existence was.