Invaded
A Spooky Microfiction
There was only one rule: don’t open the door. Now here Nicki was, trying to open said black door with a large keyhole, in sharp contrast to the rest of the white house. Harsh footsteps and loud clashes continued behind her, evidence that the robbers were still in the house.
When Nicki’s neighbors with government jobs asked her to water their plants while they were away, a broke Nicki accepted. She was fine with the rule since she figured they had important documents in there. It was weird that they hung the big key next to the door though.
But then people broke into the house and Nicki’s phone died before she could call for help. They didn’t know she was here, but it was only a matter of time, so Nicki needed to get to safety, to the one door that looked like it couldn’t be kicked dow-
In her panic, Nicki dropped the key. She flinched at the loud noise that echoed down the hall. The silence afterwards was deafening as she quickly picked up the key. Only to drop it again when the harsh footsteps came back, now louder.
Then Nicki saw the cabinet to her right and recalled it was mostly empty. Forgoing the door, Nicki rushed to the cabinet and got inside. She closed the cabinet doors just before the robbers came. Nicki heard the robbers stop in front of her and a second later, picked up the key. There was a click, then they turned the doorknob.
The robbers suddenly started screaming before they were cut off by a loud inhale. There was the sound of someone chewing and spitting before the door closed.
Despite herself, Nicki opened the cabinet door.
Blood and tattered clothes covered everything.
***
Judah LoVato's companion piece.
About the Creator
Rebecca Patton
Ever since discovering Roald Dahl, I wanted to be an author who would delight and move her readers through her stories. I also wrote my debut novel, "Of Demons and Deception" on Amazon.
Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insights
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters




Comments (15)
😂 love that it got fed
I’m reading this because of Judah LoVato’s The Burglary. Love the cross pollination that happened here. Awesome job Rebecca, best of luck!
Very good read! It's been fun to see all the directions the opening sentence can take us- and this one inspired me to write another micro (but from the burglars perspective)
It was so intense. I could really feel her fear.
It is a very well written and valuable story with a good ending
That was great. Congrats on the TS.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
A fine short horror "film" rolled over my eyes, thank you!!
Very nice bloody end
Nice bit of a horror story. Saved by the impending key drop! This was engaging and very well written. Congratulations, too, on Top Story achievement!
Awesome! I love twisty, turny stories!!
well written
Good scary twist.
That was such a close call. Thank god Nikki decided to go into the cabinet instead. Loved your story!
This should be expanded on.